wake up
first thing you do is try and call the number on the fluffy’s collar
she’s still super sleepy and yawns when you pick her up
“Wub daddeh buh… stiww sweepy.”
she gently moves stubby hoof paws around
fucking adorable
you put her back down on the dog bed and call the number
no response
not even a custom answering machine
you call a few times in the space of thirty minutes and no answer
well shit
as you walk around trying to find a way to contact her old owner you her say “Cweamsikwe hungwy… daddeh gib nummies?”
oh right
she hasn’t had breakfast
you realize giving her spaghetti or similar substances would probably set a bad precedent but you had to feed her something
a baguette couldn’t hurt her right…
and some blueberries
“wan nummies” She mutters to herself as you continue to make it
you’d correct that but she was still probably starving so you’d give her the benefit of the doubt
at least for today
you hand over the baguette filled with fruit
she nums it before looking up at you positively beaming
“Tank ou daddeh?”
“Uhhh… I’m gonna go get you some stuff for fluffies, because daddy doesn’t have any.”
“So please just stay still, try not to mess up the house, and try not to kill yourself.”
the exasperation and nervousness was clear in your voice to everyone
except maybe creamsicle
“Otay Daddeh!”
hopefully she’d follow it and your house wouldn’t be covered in shit and blood after your short escapade at the store
you put on mask, grab some hand sanitizer and for the first time head to your local fluffmart
but not before placing your laptop in front of the gate with a playlist that showed fluffies how to be good mothers
it’s exactly how you suspect
loud
garish
cloying
and with just a slightly sinister tone
the place plays the Mummah song on loop
though luckily the lyrics only start every 5 minutes and the rest of the time it’s instrumental
on your way to the general section you pass by what is labeled “the abuse section”
you have never seen so many unimposing Kyle’s in one location outside of a limp bizkit revival concert
you resist the urge to fuck with them as someone who can do a pull up and tends to at least change their shirt once every two days
aah the normal section
you grab a fluffy bed, some blocks, a litterbox and some fluffy chow
overall it costs around 80 bucks
it wouldn’t bankrupt you but you just hope that this’ll be the last big expense
the worst part though was passing by all the fluffies asking if you’d be “Nyu daddeh”
especially the ones who were promptly shoved out of the way for being “Dummehs.” or “Poopeh.”
foals with their ribs showing while their brother’s or sister’s bellies looked ready to burstt
it made you sick
it wasn’t as common as the internet said but it was still there
maybe it was intentional
a lot of people tended to buy the neglected babies out of sympathy
but still that rough of a childhood could probably fuck up anything
would Creamsicle turn out like that?
you hope not
but you could probably nip it in the bud
as you got to the cashier it was clear she couldn’t make heads or tales of you
you dressed like a pretentious psuedo intellectual goth because you were one
so she could tell that obviously
what she was probably wondering was what the hell you were doing buying fluffy supplies
you weren’t wearing a ratty dark hoodie, or pastel clothes so what were you even doing here?
a factor that made her stay relatively silent as you bought your loot
as “Why are you here?” is probably the last thing they taught in training
as you leave she shouts, “Have a flufftastic day.” hating every second of it
can’t blame her, if you had to say that to every customer you’d also be pretty fucking miserable
you get home after light traffic, lugging the supplies up the stairs before unlocking the door
an act that made Creamsicle squeal with joy
“Wub daddeh! Cweamsikwe make good poopies!”
she declares as you put the bag down and wash your hands to shake off miss rona
well the house looks pretty clean
and she did make good poopies
“Hey creamsicle! I uhh I got a suprise for you!”
you say carrying the bag as she wobbles over to the gate, her pregnancy making her almost immobile
“Supwise!” She nearly shouts
you put your hand to your mouth to shush her
“Supwise!”
She whispers though with the same amount of excitement
glad she knows that command
you pat her on the head before putting down her new bed, bowl, box and blocks
“Wub ou!” She screams
“Tank ou daddeh! Fo bestes toysies and bestes beddie, and wittaboks! ou am bestes daddeh!”
you’d tell her to quiet down but you rarely get this kind of praise
“You’re welcome! And I also got you nummies!”
she gasps her already huge eyes becoming wide as dinner plates as she begins to sing what you can only imagine is some kinda “nummies” song under her breath
you only manage to pick up the words bestes nummies, babbehs and mummah
you pour the kibble and water before giving it to her
and her mood sours
“Dis no am skettis…”
“No but it’s… nummies… right?”
you feel weird using their vernacular
“Bu cweamsikwe soon mummah an nee skettis, and sweeties fo bestes miwkies fo bestes babbehs!”
at least she used the plural after bestest so maybe that’ll just mean she’ll really love her kids
you sigh and pat her head as she stares at the bowl
“Yeah but it’s better for you. It’s made to make sure you make healthy milk.”
“Bu-bu skettis make bestes miwkies!”
you’d discipline her right freaking now for this but you’re still worried about hurting her foals
“Well nine out of ten doctors disagree with you so you aren’t getting and Spaghetti.”
your voice is firmer
“No cawe… nee skettis!”
this may be due to ignorance and maternal instinct on her part but you gotta nip this in the butt
you read somewhere fluffies can’t get up when you turn em over
“Alright Creamsicle, you’re being a bad fluffy! And for that I…Daddy is going to turn off gravity!”
she looks afraid and confused as you turn her onto her back causing her to wriggle helplessly for several minutes screeing about “up”
you give her five minutes before righting her
“You better eat it.”
“Cause it’s all I’m gonna give you, and if you don’t eat it you’ll be a bad mom”
“Do you want to be a bad mom?”
she shakes her head
“Then eat the kibble”
she nods tears in her eyes
“Cweamsikwe sowwy, wiww eat kibbwe nummies fo daddeh and babbehs.”
you nod
this could be a problem
as said you’d be harsher but you still really don’t wanna hurt innocent foals
even if their mom was a brat
still before going to bed that night you made sure to emphasize that she needed to love all her foals and always eat her kibble
she agreed
though occasionally she referred to herself as ‘fwuffy’…
14 Likes
All i could think of was the scene in futurama where bender tells everyone he cant get off his back when hes knocked down and hermes just says “well why dont we test out this erectile dysfunction of yours?”
7 Likes
Wait, CORONAVIRUS?
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yeah.
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Honestly, I wanna be that guy and correct ya with a giant strap-on and claim that my balls are big, but nah.
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What? I’m not upset or offended I just need context for what you’re talking about.
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Alright, if you ask for it.
according to fluffy lore, they’re created by hasbio, which is in the future.
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I have sinned! I have breached the holy canon and now must flagellate myself in penitence for forgiveness I do not deserve!
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Now face the fandom and it’s royalty!
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Nah, you´re fine - guess we will still have some pandemics in the future. Zoonotic pathogens suck…
3 Likes
I think by the standards of 2013 we live in the future
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With actual facemelting lazors.
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Covid season will probably become a normal thing like the flu season is now so. 
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