The following is the true story of what went down …
It was a beautiful day. Chilly, but bright with sunshine as winter mornings often were. After a long morning at the mall, Prince Rupert and his owner, Miles, found themselves in need of refreshment.
Miles held the pudgy fluffy pony resting on his wide hips, scrolling his phone mindlessly with his free hand. The line was abnormally long at the Jamba Juice, and Miles grew impatient. The two intrepid seekers of smoothies ventured further into the food court, where the derelict looking Orange Julius lurked by the handicap restrooms.
Any port in a storm, Miles thought.
Waiting in line yet again, Prince Rupert began to wriggle in excitement. Miles shushed the little pony and bounced him on his hip. “Daddeh! Daddeh, wewk! It Cinnamummah fwom duh TeeBee! buh … buh she … wewk diffwen…”
Indeed Cinnamummah did look different. The sparkling tv personality was even doughier, if that were possible, her eyes drooping and tired. Also weighed a lot less with no legs.
“Yuu got nu weggies, Cinnamummah!”
The rotund reddish brown mare leveled her golden eyes at the pampered Prince Rupert with a white hot hatred. She spat back, “Cinnamummah nyoo dat, stoopi FAT dummeh!”
The greasy, portly man holding Cinnamummah scolded her quietly, his reedy and nasal voice carrying above the din of food court noise. “Now now, Cinny, that’s no way to talk to …” he paused, “Oh it IS a stupid fat baby. and he has his fluffy pony with him.
Miles sighed deeply and put his phone in his pocket, “Salutations, Devin.”
“I would say it is a pleasure to see an esteemed colleague out and about,” Devin sneered, “But it is not pleasurable, and I hold you in no esteem.”
Miles blinked back a chuckle and pushed up his glasses dramatically, “No esteem for me? That’s rich, coming from someone who had the gall to submit a shoddy facsimile of my code. You, Sir, are a copycat, and the clients, management, and the whole world will see your true colors.”
Devin wiped his greasy hair away from his face, “Copy? Don’t flatter yourself, Miles. I wrote my code based on my own skills and ideas. You are just jealous that I got better feedback than you before your spurious accusations!”
Cinnamummah silently seethed, and Rupert was already distracted by a Sbarra tv menu showing steaming plates of spaghetti and lasagna.
“I am astounded,” Miles continued, “That you managed to take my work and make it worse. It’s somehow clunkier and less functional, which is a level of ineptitude I must applaud, but we all know, what you’re really upset about, is you got caught.”
Devin blustered and squished his pillowed pony so tightly to his side she let out a squeak of surprise and a tiny, wet flatulence. “Enough, Miles. You are wasting my time and energy. You are not worth arguing with. Despite your grandiose fantasies, you are a loser, Miles, not a winner, and that’s all you and your stupid pony will ever be, Losers.”
Devin flicked the little plastic crown that sat atop Prince Rupert’s carefully coiffed mane, which triggered an indignant shriek from Miles as he shielded his round pony prince with his body, “ how DARE you touch his highness! I shall sue you! I will rain litigation down on your balding head you fat piece of…”
A tired looking security guard who couldn’t have been less than eighty stepped between the two corpulent combatants, “You both need to leave now.” He murmured through his thick white mustache, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”
Devin spun on his heel dramatically, but Miles shouted at his back as he also walked away, “Fine, Devin. Go ahead and live in your delusional bubble. You are not my friend, Devin. You are my enemy! You will rue this day!!”
Unbeknownst to Rupert, but known’st to us, Rupert had also made an enemy that day. Not only did he announce to a whole mall that Cinnamummah had no legs, he made everyone look at Cinnamummah. Not with joy, or admiration, or even fear. It was a look that ate away at her… they looked on with pity.
https://fluffy-community.com/t/a-showdown-at-orange-julius-ace/56473
