I sort of disappeared off the face of the earth for a bit, apologies for that, but I’m getting ready to work on a BIG fantasy story for the community and before I did that I wanted to do something more short and one off, and I decided to contradict myself and do ONE MORE Elder Scrolls centric story, ladies and gentleman, enjoy the A Sweet-Roll for Iris, with an ending that, while not overtly violent and gory, will hopefully tug at your heart strings and make you hate me lol. Love you guys!
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“For the last time Iris, you get sweet rolls for being a GOOD fluffy, and giving your brother sorry poopies is a BAD thing to do.” Shod explains for what seems like the thousandth time as the small bright pink and purple fluffy shivered and cried, however, she was nothing compared to her brother, who was beside himself in tears as his dark green fluff and brown mane were stained with the most rancid excretion Shod have ever smelled, and he’d smelled dragon dung that has been in the sun for hours. “But Pine Twee took fwuffie’s wawm spot!” Iris shouts indignantly as though that justified making her brother a walking, crying, nose destroying, pitiful ball of shit stained fluff that would undoubtedly need to be washed in the river now.
Shod had adopted the two fluffies out of Whiterun when he passed through, they’d been living under a drawbridge in a small alcove after a khajiit caravan had turned their mother and siblings into brunch and they’d only just managed to get away. Pine Tree was the sweetest little guy imaginable, always wanting to cuddle with his sister or sit next to Shod by the fire in his cabin at night where he’d coo at the head scratches he received. Iris on the other hand, had been the “Bestest Baby” according to her, and it showed in her attitude, whether it was yelling at Pine Tree for eating before her, shoving him away to get head scratches, or calling him a “poopie baby” at the top of her voice. This was the worst however, where in their argument over a sparse patch of sunlight (a welcome reprieve in Dawnstar’s bitter, constant cold) had culminated in Iris spraying shit all over and Shod having to take a break from his work to figure out what was going on.
“Be that as it may, you could have come to me, or even asked nicely. Pine Tree is gonna get your sweet roll tonight, you need to learn how to keep your temper.” Shod explains calmly, he was only twenty four but his rough face, scruffy beard, and lines around his mouth and eyes brought on by years of living in this weather made him seem like some old, wise, and admittedly strong looking man, a fact only hammered home by Iris’ guilty expression and mumbled apology of “Iwis am sowweh Pine Twee.”. Shod picked up the sobbing, feces covered fluffy that barely fit in his palm, “Thank you for apologizing Iris, go sit on your bed until it’s time for dinner.” He says as he heads toward the river to get the little guy clean…times like this were when he was happy he lived outside of the town, because fluffies being cleaned in a cold river tend to scream loud enough for everyone a mile around to hear.
Some hours later, the man and his pets were sat in front of the fireplace, Pine Tree having (unsurprisingly) forgotten about his traumatic bath, was gnawing hungrily on his first sweet roll, the other one sitting next to him as Iris shot hungry glares at him from the corner of her eye, nibbling on a few sticks of celery she got for dinner. Shod, who was enjoying a nice Horker Loaf, had no intentions of actually keeping the sweet-roll away from her, she’d felt guilty, and Pine Tree always fell asleep as soon as he finished half of his, no way in hell was he going to eat two of them.
“Iwis has tu gu poopies, don’t wowweh Daddeh, Fwuffy wiww use da wittew boxie.” Iris announces, standing up and trotting off toward their safe room, which had been converted from Shod’s “Worthless Treasure He’s Too Lazy To Throw Away” room and been fitted with a very soft bed for the two fluffies, a litter box, and assorted metal-smithed toys safe enough for the two of them, it was any fluffy on Nirn’s dream. But Iris wasn’t ACTUALLY going to use the litter box, if daddy wanted to give Pine Tree her sweet-roll, she’d run away and never come back, she was the bestest baby, and if those dumb kitty monsters hadn’t given her mom forever sleepies Pine Tree would still be the poopie baby.
After making sure Shod and Pine Tree were no longer paying attention, she moved as quietly as possible toward the front door, which was cracked to help air out the smell of the wet fluffy still working on his sweet-roll. She slid out and began galloping as fast as possible down the trail, trying to remember how daddy got to the town where the nice innkeeper always made warm sweet-rolls and had the really tasty flower nummies for her and Pine Tree. At the thought of her brother she had the oddest pang of guilt, unusual in fluffies and practically unheard of for “Bestest Babies” she wasn’t sure what she felt, just that she already missed her brother and daddy.
She shook this thought from her head…they were meanies and her new momma wouldn’t let the poopie baby have her sweet-roll. Before Iris could move again she heard a hissing noise, her ears pinned back, she glanced over at the source of the noise in the dark night, she only saw two massive pinchers and several shiny eyes rapidly approaching her in a tangle of hair and eight legs.
“Screee! Scaweh spidew munstah! Pwease don’t huwt Iwis, Iwis am good fwuffy, Iwis wiww gu home!” Iris screeches, turning tail and sprinting back up the trail toward the house…but was this the right way? She couldn’t pay attention as three more frostbite spiders fell from the trees, running after her and following the trail of liquid fear she left behind in the form of shit, searching for the fluorescent snack that was now shivering in terror behind a small rock. Tears formed in her eyes as she had an aching feeling of regret, she missed Shod and Pine Tree, they would’ve protected her.
The largest spider of the group was almost on her, beginning to step over the rock that was her only shelter at the moment when a twang of string and a solid thwack caused the spider to stop, shudder, and fall down in a tangle of legs, clear venom dripping from it’s dead fangs next to Iris. The fluffy prepared to jump out, ready to thank her hero when she heard a voice in the distance, “Another one felled by Stendarr’s mercy. Excellent warm up for when we get to that Shod fellow, hoarding creatures of Sheogorath…what has the world fallen to?” One voice asks, it had the same cadence and tone of the monsters that had eaten Iris’ family.
“No matter, when we arrive him and his Daedra worship will be no more. Remember that we must purge the house, burn it with prejudice.” Says a second voice, it was gruff but not gentle like Shod’s. Iris cuddles under the rock as torchlight shines over her hooves for a brief second as the two men walk by, she can see that one of them looks like the monsters who killed her family, and the other had green skin like Pine Tree.
Iris’ heart drops as a realization dawns on her, they were talking about giving her daddy and Pine Tree burnie hurties! She hurled herself out from her hiding space, a pink and purple blur not missed by the Vigilants. “There’s one of the little beasts!” The orc shouts as Iris bolts past him, making her way to her cabin as fast as she could while avoiding arrows and fireballs hitting the ground next to her until she heard a twang and felt a sharp pain skin her side.
“Daddeh, when am Iwis goin’ tu come back? Pine Twee can’t sweep without a fwuff piwe.” Pine Tree asks again, Shod had made excuses for the last hour, hoping that Iris would come back but between the foxes, frostbite spiders, and god knows what else lurking around, he was going to have to tell Pine Tree his sister was never coming back. As he turned to the confused green fluffy, a soft thump on the door and a small pink blur caught him off guard, “Iwis!” Pine Tree shouts before gasping and throwing his arms around her, after nudging him aside, Shod saw why.
Shod dropped to his knees to examine the deep wound on her side, an arrow had skimmed over her right side. To anything else, this would be a minor wound, but to a fluffy…well the blood flowing freely said otherwise, “Iris! What hap-?” Shod begins but Iris gasps out “Daddeh, Iwis saw a meowie munstah an’ a gween monstew comin’ tu gib housie buwneh huwties…”. Shod furrows his brow, he’d seen two Vigilants of Stendarr in town earlier that week, one Khajiit and one Orc, who’d both been sitting in the bar casting nasty looks at him and his fluffies, they’d been attempting to exterminate them ever since Sheogorath had created them, but domestics were off limits…at least legally.
“Pine Tree, take your sister and hide in your safe room, don’t come out until daddy says so.” Shod says, straightening up and snatching the saber and crossbow off of their spot on the table next to his bed. They were dusty from two months of disuse but his metalwork was phenomenal, they’d still be able to do some damage…
Five minutes later Shod pushed open the door, covered in blood but seemingly unwounded, he was holding a sweet-roll in one hand as he sat down next to Iris, who was being hugged by Pine Tree and weakly trying to hug him back. Fluffies couldn’t be healed with a spell or potions, one of Sheogorath’s little “quirks” he’d thrown in. “Hey little lady, I got something for you.” He says quietly as he sets the sweet roll next to her, Iris weakly takes a bite from it as Shod strokes her head, making her coo softly, “Iwis am sowweh fu wunnin’ 'way Daddeh, Iwis didn’t mean tu be a bad fwuffy…” She murmurs as Shod shakes his head, “You’re a good fluffy Iris, you saved your brother and I.” He whispers as he bites back tears that threaten to leak from his eyes, Iris gives a weak smile before her eyes unfocus and she saw no more.
The Vigilants were unceremoniously tossed into the sea to be devoured by slaughterfish the moment the sun broke, meanwhile, Shod held an inconsolable Pine Tree in one hand as with the other hand, he placed a few handfuls of different mountain flowers under the headstone he’d carved in the early morning hours while Pine Tree hugged his sister’s corpse. The headstone was quite short and sweet, “Iris-A Good Fluffy”.
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Did I say one more short story? I meant another story that I get too carried away with lol, I’ll be starting work on my big project here soon, I’m super excited to see the finished project and I hope you guys will love it! As always, criticism and comments are more than welcome, thanks guys, love you all!
