Rick had just finished cleaning out the fluffy compartments of his van when the call came in. Small family of fluffies moved in under a customer’s porch and the daddy was particularly aggressive.
The fluffies were asked to leave and the daddy tried to bite the homeowner who reflexively kicked the little guy away. Owner is almost certain the stallion’s suffered a fracture if not full on break in their leg. Since then, the homeowner has seen a few of the babbehs try and gather grass for the family.
The nest itself is far enough back that you can’t just reach in to nab the fluffs and the owner really does not want to crawl into a fluffy nest. The owner is requesting a removal and cleaning of the nest and doesn’t care what happens to the fluffies.
As Rick drove to the customer’s house he made a plan of attack. The best way forward here would likely be to win over the babbehs. He has a few bottles of the good stuff from Green Meadows, that milk drives babbehs wild. Offer some milkies, some kibble to take back to mummah and daddeh and wham, he’s got an in.
Rick’s windowless van pulled into the driveway. “Fluffy Removal, as if they were never there.” emblazoned on the side along with the picture of a fluffy waving goodbye. His friends always joked that his job was tricking kids into his kidnapper van with candy. It wasn’t all that far from the truth. He opened the side compartments and got his gear ready.
One bottle of Milkmaid Mare Milk, an eye dropper for administering, a few sketti hard candies, two easy open baggies of kibble, and his first aid kit just in case the stallion needs immediate attention.
The homeowner showed Rick around to the back where the fluffies had made their nest. The grass around the area was well trodden, making it obvious that something was living in there. Cute little guys, but not the brightest. According to the owner, the babbehs tend to make their rounds in the early morning and mid afternoon. The foals venture out and grab whatever grasses they can carry back to the nest. For whatever reason the mare doesn’t leave the nest, and the stallion is believed to be too injured to make any attempts at nummie finding.
Rick thanked the homeowner for the information and began his stakeout. It should be just about time for the babbehs to start waddling around for food. He popped in his earbuds and waited. Most fluffies weren’t particularly hard to spot.
Around half an hour later Rick saw movement. A single blue foal was marching diligently through the grass, looking for food that met whatever criteria the little guy had come up with. It could just bring back the grass right in front of him but fluffys never seem to make things easy on themselves.
Rick crept behind the fluffy, making sure that he was between the foal and the entrance to the nest, “Afternoon, young fella. How’s the nummie finding going?”
The foal jumped half a foot in shock which was impressive given its height. “M-Munstah! Nuh huwt babbeh! Nuh Huwt!” It cowered under its hooves for a brief moment only to find its nerve and turn right around. It puffed up its cheeks and stomped its hooves menacingly at Rick.
“Must take after its dad” He thought to himself, “I’m not here to hurt you, I’m here to be your new friend.”
The foal eyed him suspiciously but deflated its cheeks nonetheless, “Nyu fwen? Neba hab nyu fwen… Buh waits! Humie munstah twyin tu twick babbeh so can gib huwties wike daddeh! Nuh huwt babbeh! Nee bwing nummies tu famwy!”
The foal puffed back up. Little thing was determined, enough that it didn’t care what happened to itself so long as their family was fed. Rick looked around for any other foals meandering about. This one was the only babbeh splorin.
“Family having trouble getting enough food?”
“Yus! Afta meanie humie huwted daddeh nuh cans wawkies! Ans mummah…” the foal trailed off and then growled at Rick, “Nuh huwties!”
Rick nodded thoughtfully. More than likely this was the only foal with enough left in it to forage. With the dad incapacitated and the mummah having something going on it’d be up to the babbehs to bring in an ever dwindling supply of grass. Grass wasn’t the most nutritious for fluffies and not great for making milk. Rick’s best guess is that the milk supply got smaller and smaller which led to the foals not having enough in them to bring back enough food. A downward spiral to starvation.
“Well, how’s 'bout this. I got some milkies here and you look awfully hungry.” Rick opened the bottle of milk and attached a rubber nipple to the lid.
The foal’s eyes widened at the mention of milkies. It was starving. Rick could see the fluffy’s resolve wavering, the little fluffy’s tongue licked its lips. It’s tummy gurgled in protest to the foal’s hesitancy.
The tiny fluffy paced back and forth, stomping its feet in frustration. “Babbeh nee miwkies… tummy huwties su muches buh hoomin ams munstah… buh… miwkies…” As if to add to the case for milkies their stomach gurgled again.
The fluffy turned to Rick, trembling in fear but desperate enough to risk whatever dark fate could await it at Rick’s hands. “Babbeh… nee miwkies. Gib miwkies pwease. Pwease huuuhuuu su hungies…”
Rick placed the bottle on the grass and stepped back, “Don’t drink too much, you’ll get sick.”
The foal eyed Rick and crept up to the bottle as if it would snap at him at any moment. Hunger overcame it and it launched at the rubber teat. The foal shuddered in sheer joy as it tasted the best milk it had ever had. It was so creamy and pure, as if it was a bottle of condensed love.
Tears welled up in its eyes as it continued to drink. Mummah’s milkies weren’t nearly this good. The taste of grass and garbage was absent. No bitter after taste, and it was so much more filling. It started to sob, choking on the bottle.
Rick pulled the foal off the milkies and patted its back gently. “You ok there buddy? I told you not to drink too much.”
“Huuuuuuuuuhuuu ams wowstest babbeh!” It hiccuped and cried, “Dis miwkies ams su much bestestew dan mummahs! Babbeh ams wowstest nuh good babbeh, nu wub mummah huuuuuu enuff!”
“There there pal, you’re ok. Your mummah did the best she could, I’m sure. This milk is from the new nest I want to take your family to and they get really good nummies. Soon as your mummah gets there, I’m sure she’ll make milkies just as good.”
“Weawwy?” The foal asked as it sniffled back tears.
“And you love your mummah enough little buddy. Not everyone would go out looking for food when they’re already got the worst tummy hurties. Be kind to yourself.”
The foal sniffled again, “Buddy? Ams dat babbehs namsie?”
“If you want, kiddo.”
“Nao ams kiddos?” The foal was clearly getting a little confused and a bit off track.
“Let’s call you Trooper. That’s your new name.”
“Otay nice mistah. Wub namesie.” The foal waddled over to Rick and gave his shoe a hug, “Thankies foh being nicest mistah. Wub.”
“You were very brave, Trooper. Now I’ve got something else for you.” Rick took out one of the baggies of kibble he had prepared and put it in front of Trooper, “Can you bring these nummies to your parents? We gotta convince them that there’s a better nest we can get you all to, and this is some of the food they will get to have.”
Rick thought for a moment and added, “And I hear your daddeh might be hurt. I have some human magic that’ll help him feel better, but I can only give it to him myself.”
“Otay. Twoopew wiww twy. Thankies foh miwkies ans nummies ans being nicest hoomin mumstah.” The tiny foal gave one last hug and turned to drag the bag back to the porch. It was going to take Trooper a while, but Rick wanted to avoid getting his scent on it as much as possible for now.
“Huh. Troopers a filly. Well, good for her. Real trooper, that kid.” Rick said as he watched her slowly creep towards her home. Yep. This’ll be a bit. Rick picked the bottle back up and cleaned off the top. He’ll have to keep the milk’s quality in mind for future cases. Still, good kid for feeling guilty over liking it more than her mummah’s.
Twenty minutes later Trooper disappeared into the porch. Determined little thing.
Trooper dragged the baggie into the den and shouted, “Ams back! Habs weaw nummies!”. Her family raised their heads. Her siblings were tired and starving, but the prospect of good milkies from real food cheered them up.
Trooper dragged the baggie up next to her parents who were still sleeping. Daddeh had sickie wawas and mummah… mummah was a soon mummah. “Habs nummies! Ans namesies!”
Her starving siblings gasped weakly. Not only did she find nummies, but a name too? She must be the greatest finder there ever was!
Daddeh slowly opened his eyes and looked down at the foal, “Dat ams… numies fwom humin munstah. How babbeh get dis?”
“Twoopew meeted nice humin munstah, gabe bestest miwkies ans namesie ans nummies foh mummah ans daddeh! Humin wan bwing famwy tu nyu nestie!”
The daddeh growled and batted Trooper away, “Dummeh babbeh. Dat humin gun gib huwties. Wook at daddeh weggie. Wook.” The stallion’s back leg was a mess. Bone was protruding from the ankle and green pus was seeping out of the wound.
Trooper winced, “Humin awso saids habs magics foh huwties! Twoopew tink humin ams goodeh. Pwomise!”
“Ams twick. Humins aww wiaws.” Daddeh ripped open the baggie with his teeth and poured out kibble in front of the sleeping mummah. Between milk, a new batch of tummy babbehs, and just existing the mare was not getting nearly enough food. He considered taking a portion himself. He poured the rest of the bag in front of her. With the hurties his leg was giving him, Daddeh knew he would be going forever sleepies soon. One more missed meal wouldn’t do much for him.
“Mummah. Nummies.” Daddeh said as he nudged the mare awake.
“N-nummies?” She asked weakly. She sniffed and craned her neck down. It took her only a moment to find them. She scarfed them down without taking time to breath. Babbehs needed milkies, and tummy babbehs needed nummies and tummy needed nummies too. She teared up as she ate, it was the best food she’d had in ages.
After belching she looked around the nest, “Wewe dese nummies come fwom? Ams bestest nummies ebah.”
“Twoopew finded dem! Gotted fwom nice humin munstah.” Trooper said proudly.
“No tawkies dummeh.” Daddeh said. Between starvation and a festering leg his disposition was not to be patient or kind.
“Nuh be meanises tu nummie findaw babbeh. Yu habs namsies nao? Dat ams good namesies.” Mummah said with a smile, “Humin jus gib nummies?”
“Nuh! Humin wan take famwy tu nyu nestie! Get gud nummies an wawms an fix huwties!”
Mummah sighed. She’d seen what humans could do to a fluffy. Hell, there was a great example right in front of her. Her poor special friend tried so hard to protect them and what he got was an empty belly and a broken leggy.
She looked around the nest and saw her starving babbehs. Some had taken to poopie nomming just to fill their bellies. Her heart hurt. Only one of her babbehs could make the trek out to get food and she would probably falter too. She knows that Daddeh is trying to put on a brave face, but he’s been giving her all the food and his leg just gets worse and worse. If things go as they are, they are all going to go to skettiland.
“Daddeh. Tawkies tu humin. Famwy… nu wan fohevah sweepies. If humin gib huwties… what it mattew? Sweepies dis bwite times oh next… we gon go sweepies soon.”
Daddeh grunted. The fluffy had his pride, and mummah was saying he couldn’t provide. And his heart sunk. He couldn’t provide. He even hit his babbeh! He was a being a bad daddeh. He steeled himself and said, “Daddeh wiww twy.”
The stallion started crawling out of the nest, with Trooper following close behind.
Rick was playing games on his phone, occasionally looking over to the porch to make sure nobody had poked their heads out. It’d been about half an hour since Trooper disappeared. Much longer and he’d have to try another option. He didn’t like the other options, getting the fluffies to come along willingly was easier on everyone.
A big blue head emerged from the porch. The stallion was army crawling, which confirmed Rick’s suspicions about the injury. He whistled as he saw the extruding bone, yeah that’ll do it. Looks like that little trooper won them over though. He’d have to remember to put in a good word for her at the shelter, these kinds of bestest babbehs always go over well.
Rick walked over to the stallion and stopped a few feet away to give him space so he doesn’t get defensive, “Hey there fella, you enjoy the food?”
“Nuh. Nummies aww goes tu soon-mummah.”
Rick winced. That explains why she wasn’t looking for food. Having another litter of foals when you can’t feed the ones you have… not the brightest fluffs. His guess was that it was daddeh’s call there, seems the aggressive type.
“I see. Well, I have another bag of food for you here. Let’s not talk on an empty stomach. No bringing to your special friend, you gotta eat too.”
Rick tossed the bag just in front of the daddeh who wordlessly opened the bag and began to eat.
Trooper finally caught up and sat on her haunches next to her daddeh. She gave Rick a tiny wave with a big smile. “Hewwo 'gain nice munstah!”
“Good job, Trooper. Appreciate you getting your folks to talk.”
The foal beamed at the praise.
Daddeh had finished his kibble. It was… very good. “Dat ams good nummies. Yu habs mowe?”
“Oh yeah, plenty. You won’t go hungry again if you come with me.”
The stallion sat in silence. “Yu habs miwkies tuu? How.”
“Lots of kind mummahs there who give their extra milk to hungry foals.”
“Daddeh. Dose miwkies ams bestest. Mummahs dewe hab aww da bestest nummies. Ams so good Twoopew cwied cuz fewt meanies tu mummah.”
“Babbehs… ams sickies. Can hewp?”
“Yeah, there is plenty of human magic there. I have some here myself, but nothing like they have.”
“Yu wan gib huwties, gib tu daddeh.” The stallion was looking Rick directly in the eyes, “Take wumps, take weggies, take see pwaces. Pwomise nu huwt mummah ans babbehs.”
“Not what I’m about buddy. I promise, I won’t be hurting you or your babbehs.”
The stallion was in deep thought. The human seemed trustworthy but humans were very good at lying, “Take daddeh ans babbeh tu pwace. Gib nummies to mummah ans babbehs. If pwace goodeh den daddeh wiww bwing west ob famwy. Ow babbeh wiww if daddeh go sweepies.”
Seemed like a reasonable request. Rick would have to check with the homeowner first, “I’ll need to ask another human if that’s ok. Can you wait here for a moment?”
“Daddeh nu ams goin nowhewes.” The stallion wiggled its busted leg.
The owner of the house agreed. One more day wasn’t going to kill his property values any more than the fluffies already had.
“Ok. Got the go ahead. I’m going to load you up into my car and then bring some food over to your mummah.” Rick said as he walked back over to the fluffies, “Going to need to pick both of you up, that ok?”
“Uppies!” Trooper put her forelegs in the uppies position and giggled as she was picked up, “Waow! So big!”
“Gonna get her situated and then come back for you. Just a moment, Daddeh.”
Rick brought Trooper to the back of his van. The rear compartment had been customized to be a mobile safe room. Padded walls and flooring, a litter box with high walls, toys, food, and even an old tablet set to play Sesame street for longer trips.
“Waow! Dis ams bewy nice nestie mistuh!” Trooper said as she was placed next to a ball.
“You wait here, I’ll grab your daddeh and we’ll get going.”
Daddeh was waiting in the grass in agonizing pain. These days he was never not in pain, but being out in the open and trusting a human not to rip off his foal’s legs made it all the more apparent.
Daddeh squirmed reflexively as Rick picked him up from behind, “BAD UPPIES.” he growled.
“Yeah, I can’t imagine it feels good with that leg. Sorry man, let’s get you in the car and get going.”
Rick opened the door to see Trooper rolling a ball back and forth, “Daddeh! Wook! Wolly thingies!”
Daddeh grunted as he was placed down next to Trooper, “Dat ams baww, du-… ba- Twoopew.”
Rick closed the door of the van and took another baggie of kibble to the porch, “Hey there fluffs. Taking your daddeh to see the new nest. Got some food for you till he says it’s ok for you all to come.”
Rick tossed the bag of kibble down the porch and rolled in a bottle of milk just to be safe, “Help yourself to the food. It’s real good, promise. We should be back soon.”
A look of sheer horror crept over mummah’s face. Daddeh and Trooper had been taken. Maybe the human was telling the truth. Or maybe she’d never see her special friend and babbeh ever again. The next few hours of the mare’s life would be the longest she’s ever endured.
The van pulled up into the loading bays of the Green Meadow shelter. It was made out of an old manufacturing plant bought on the cheap. Massive sprawling facility with an eccentric and independently wealthy owner. Only about 1/6th of the place was in use, the rest was rented out for warehouse space.
The overhead door opened and Rick drove in. A precaution for making sure there’s no escapees, any fluffies being sent here had to be let out in an enclosed area. The door shut behind him and Rick was waved to get out.
“Afternoon, folks. Got a very injured daddy and a very good foal. They want to check out the shelter and if they get a good impression, bring the rest of their family in.”
Rachel, a 20 something woman of average height, was working the intake that day, “You know you can just like, grab them right? They’re not exactly fast.”
“Prefer to keep things civil when I can.”
“They have any names?”
“The foal’s name is Trooper and the daddy is just another Daddeh.”
Rachel looked at Rick with dull amusement, “You do realize this is your 4th trooper, right? Should I get you a punch card? Bring them on in and place them on the cart.”
Rick opened the doors on the van’s safe room and laughed, “Do I get a sandwich?”
“Best I can do is a handful of kibble.” Rachel said as rick placed the fluffies on a tall cart with walls high enough to keep foals from escaping. “Yeesh. Yeah that’s an injury all right. Director’s gonna wanna see this one.”
“Hewwo wady! Ams Twoopew!” Trooper said cheerfully, “Yu hewp daddeh?”
Rachel looked over the stallion carefully and nodded. It had passed out, likely on the trip here. “Yeah, I know someone who can work their magic on your papa. C’mon, I’ll show you around.”
“Alrighty. I’ll wait here.” Rick said as he pulled out his earbuds and phone, “Take your time, but I do have to get these two back to their family soonish.”
Rachel just waved him off and rolled the cart behind the closed doors.
“Hewwo mistah! Ams Backsies!” Trooper shouted as she was wheeled back into the loading dock with her daddeh.
“Hey there little lady. And Hello daddeh, how was the-” Rick looked up and saw that the Stallion was standing up straight, his leg fully healed. From where Rick was standing, it looked like the stallion had never had a break at all, “Wow. They patched you up real fast, huh?”
“Yuh. Meanie wady twade wumps foh weggie. Nuh wan wose wumps buh… wan wun an pway wid babbehs.” The stallion gave Trooper a gentle squeeze and smiled, “Daddeh wike dis pwace. Wan bwing famwy.”
“Can do, little buddy. Let’s get you both loaded back up and we’ll swing on by, get your mummah and babbehs and come right back.” The two fluffies sat in the uppies position for Rick to put them back in the van. “You guys sure are miracle workers, Rache.”
“Rick, you have no idea.”
Back again to the house and the porch, Rick placed Daddeh and Trooper in front of the nest. “You might need some help getting mummah out, so here’s this bit of rope. Have her bite down on it and I’ll help pull her out.”
“Thankies, mistuh.” Daddeh said as he strode into his nest. His babbehs looked much livelier and mummah’s eyes had a spark in them once more. Daddeh smiled.
“Speshal Fwen. Ams back. Wid weggie!”
“Gaspies!” The soon-mummah said, “How dat happen?”
“Pwace ams bestest. Vewy goodeh humin magics. We goins. Bities on dis thingy and Daddeh hewp mobe yous.”
The mare bit down on the rope and the stallion got behind her and pushed at her back. Rick felt the tug of the teeth and gave a gentle tug. The rope wasn’t taut, so he kept pulling. The mare’s bloated body was dragged out into the light.
“Hewwo mistuh!” The mare said cheerfully.
“Hello ma’am.” Rick smiled back at her, “I’ll get her in the van. You get the rest of your babbehs and we can get this mess cleaned up and get you all to your new home.”
Mummah giggled at the uppies and Daddeh went with Trooper to gather the rest of the family. They weren’t quite strong enough to walk yet so daddeh loaded them all onto his back. He walked out of his porch nestie for the last time, giving it one last look.
Moving there wasn’t the best call he’s made, but he supposes it all turned out okay in the end. He waited for Rick and joined mummah in the van, showing the family how to play with a ball.
Meanwhile, got his cleaning tools and raked out the nest. Feces, hair, blood. It all had to go. Rake after rake of gunk, he finally got to the point of just getting dirt. He switched to his sanitizer pole, a selfie camera with a sanitizing spray bottle attached, and sprayed down the nest. He swapped out spray bottles for a capsaicin solution that would deter any future families from moving in. Then, he patched up the hole with yellow warning tape and packed up the refuse. The tape would hold until the homeowner could make real repairs. Job was nearly done.
Rick met up with the homeowner and explained the situation. The homeowner didn’t particularly care about the details, but was glad the issue was solved without too much hassle on anyone’s part. Rick got paid, and off he went back to the shelter. This family had a new life waiting for them, one with way less broken leggies.