“raggle blargle fnuh blorp.”
“sowwy, smawty, waindwop nu unnastan…”
“blaggle guzziman fnord bloop!”
The little blue pegasus scrunched his brow, trying to interpret the complex instructions of the herd’s smarty.
“smawty say… cwimb hill an tuwn, and dat whewe wawa at?”
“snoogle blart.”
“come, hewd! smawty say good wawa up hill!”
The other fluffies, a dozen or so of them not including foals, trudged up the hill.
They were tired and weary but their leader had never steered them wrong.
“wawa!” cried Raindrop, as he waddled towards a natural spring.
He drank deeply from the small pool that was fed by a small underground stream. The water was cool and clear.
“tank yu, smawty! snawty is BESTEST smawty!”
“google sperg eleventy fnurg.”
The herd took turns drinking the spring water, being careful near the edge so as not to fall in.
“yargle vlarble thnud.”
Raindrop considered his leader’s words carefully. He seemed to have the best grasp on the advanced language skills of smarty.
“smarty say… nummies ovah hewe?”
“blort.”
“nummies? YAY!” cheered the herd as they waddled in the random direction Raindrop had indicated.
Unfortunately the hike took quite a while. After a couple of hours the herd was hungry and complaining.
“mnuh pfffft snort fiddwe.”
“smawty say nummies vewy cwose…”
“wait! wook!” shouted Emerald, a chubby unicorn. “Dere hooman housie! haff WOTS of nummies!”
The herd erupted with murmurs of “nummies” “skettis” and “Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam”
“splortz. zuh buh. mumph.”
“nu, smawty say nummies ovah hewe. nu go to hooman housie.”
“WELL MAYBE SMAWTY NOT SU SMAWTY!”
The rest of the herd gasped. Since Smarty had been made the leader of their herd they had managed to survive with less casualties than their previous smarties.
“zuh buh. mumph.”
“WELL EMWALD SAY SMAWTY IS DUMMY.”
“mumph.”
“nu use twicksy wowds! emwald goin to hooman housie!”
“MUMPH!”
“DUMMEH!”
“MUMMMMMMMMMPH!”
Emerald stuck his tongue out at Smarty and trotted over to the human’s house. The rest of the herd looked at each other and remained still.
“dummeh fwuffies! nu come wunnin to emwald when yu wan nummies!”
The rest of the herd looked at each other nervously. Their leader had been wise and strong but the housie was RIGHT THERE. What if…"
“dummy hooman! open housie! emwald wan nummies! NAOW!”
How brave Emerald was! The herd started to stand up, watching Emerald unleash a verbal lashing on the housie.
The door opened and a human stood there, looking down at the deep green unicorn."
“Fuck you want. I’m trying to cook meth here, shitbreath.”
“dummeh hooman! yu giff bestest nummies to emwald ow get biggest poopies and wongest sweepies!”
How tough and strong Emerald was! The herd slowly started to waddled towards the house, not wanting to miss out on good nummies after Emerald demanded it from the stupid human.
“Oh yeah, huh.”
Emerald simply smiled broadly, his nose in the air. He had told this stupid human what the score was and how he would receive the best nummies and…
KER-POW! The human grabbed a nearby Encyclopedia Britannica and plastered the pony with it, sending books flying everywhere.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OWIES!”
“I’ll give you owies, dumb fuck.” muttered the meth head.
He jammed a commemorative Hess tanker truck in Emerald’s anus and proceded to beat him in the head with a Colecovision.
“pwease! WHACK stawp! SMASH hewp! CRUNCH OWIES! GROIN eeeeeeeee! KUN buuuuhuuuuuhuuu!”
In a matter of seconds Emerald was reduced to a bloody pile of broken bones. The meth head kicked the body off his porch.
Emerald landed in a prickly bush, the sharp thorns piercing his already brusied and mangled flesh.
The crows began to gather. They would eat well today.
“tralfaz.” muttered Smarty, as he turned away and wobbled through the light woods.
“dat why Smawty is Smawty.” nodded Raindrop, following his intrepid leader.
The rest of the herd nodded as well, realizing how close to Emerald’s foul end they had come."
“burgle zurgle cher klytposkim.”
Another hundred yards away, sure enough the herd found a huge bush of wild blackberries. Smarty had done it again!
“fashizzle. glorp. fnuh.”
“we love you, too, Smarty!”
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Raindrop is in a bit of a sticky wicket.
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Ah, a bri’ish fluffy.
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.