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The world was a haze. Lemonade felt heavy. Sometimes he felt himself flying.
The last thing he remembered was being taken to the vet in his carrier. He was poked and prodded by the meanie vet lady, and he begged for the hurties to stop but she didn’t listen!
Suddenly the world stopped moving. Wait, he didn’t know it was moving in the first place. He heard a sudden, loud noise and whimpered. Or at least tried to. It came out as more of a low groan. Then he was flying again, high over everything. He could hear the birds, the wind, and the sun shone on his face. The smell of home hit him, and he knew everything was okay again.
Lemonade woke in his soft, comfortable bed, feeling the warmth of the sun on his fluff. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw he was in the living room, but it looked funny. A haze hovered around his peripherals.
“Daddeh…? Wha’ happen tu’ Wemonabe…?”
Parker knelt in front of their recovering fluffy, gently stroking his side. “Hi buddy,” they spoke softly and gently, with a smile on their face. “You made it through your appointment. You cried the whole time, sucky baby.”
“Nu am babbeh… Nu nee’ miwkies…” Lemonade tried to bring up his leggie to hide his eyes from the sun, but he couldn’t. There was something in the way. He lifted his wobbly head to try and see what it was but all he saw was a hazy looking hoofsie. “Wemonabe see-pwaces doin’ nu-pwetty fingy…”
Parker reached around to gently pet Lemonade’s head. “You’ve got a cone on, buddy. So you don’t bite at your lumps.”
“Wumps?” Lemonade felt more alert. He lifted his front and back leggies on his left side to try and see his lumps, but the hazy cone wouldn’t let him.
“Yeah, I talked with the vet and there was a way for you to keep your lumps. But you have to leave them alone for a while, okay? They’re going to be sore.”
Parker had spoken to Lemonade’s vet about a prosthetic testicle procedure. It cost more, but they felt it was the better option.
Lemonade felt tears in his eyes. “Huu… Wemonabe su happies. Stiww hab wumps. Wub wumps… Fank’u, Daddeh.” Parker picked him up, cradling him close and rubbing his belly.
“You’re so spoiled~ I spoil you~ My big baby~”
Most of the day was spent with Lemonade in Parker’s lap while they worked in their small home office that tripled as a laundry and storage room. Lemonade slowly became more alert, and eventually he started getting fussy.
“Wan’ down, Daddeh. Hab tummee huwties.” He went to jump down on his own, but Parker quickly grabbed him.
“Whoa, easy my guy. I’ll set you down.” Parker gently set Lemonade on the floor and pet his back. “I’ve got your kibble and water in here for you.”
Lemonade was still a bit wobbly on his legs, and after wandering for a few seconds he found his kibble in front of the closet door that housed the washer and dryer. “Wub nummies. Gon’ num yu, nummies,” he said as the cone scooted the kibble bowl closer to the closed door. “Wai nummies nu stay stiww? Wan’ num yu.”
Parker kept a close eye on Lemonade and got up to help him eat. “You gotta eat around your cone, buddy.” They moved the kibble bowl inside the cone radius so it wouldn’t get pushed around and Lemonade ate right away.
He was face down in his bowl when he felt a sore itch in his lumps. He tap-danced his back legs a few times, not wanting to stop eating to deal with it, but it was an itch he couldn’t ignore. “Huu, wumps hab itchies… Nu hab itchies, wumps. Wemonabe wan num nummies wite nao.”
But it was no use. The itch didn’t go away, and it was getting harder to eat through. He sat his rump down to do a few scoots on the linoleum floor, but before he could Parker had pulled Lemonade up to his hooves.
“Hey, don’t do that. Remember what I said? You can’t touch your lumps right now.”
“Huu, bu’ Daddeh! Wumps am su itchies! Nee’ scwatchies!
“You need to leave your lumps alone, okay? If you wait a second, I’ll get you a special treat that will take the itch away.”
Lemonade tried to put his rump on the ground again, but Parker was still holding him up. “Bu’ wumps an suu itchies!” He wiggled in discomfort. “Itchies nao!”
Parker sighed in frustration. “Look, you either leave your lumps alone for a few more seconds or I put you in the leggie holder.”
“Nuu!” Lemonade gasped loudly in shock.” Nu wan’ weggie howdew! Wiww be gud fwuffy!” Even as he said it, he attempted to bring his butt down to the ground for a scoot. The itch was too powerful.
“Okay, you’re going in the leggie holder.” Parker picked up a squealing Lemonade and tucked him under an arm while the free arm grabbed the white wooden leggie holder that rested against a wall. Lemonade continued to screech and wriggle all the way to the living room and while Parker set the holder down on the floor.
Even though Lemonade was squirming with all his might, Parker easily got his legs into the holes of what was essentially a board held up by two long supports on either side. It was just tall enough that Lemonade could touch the ground. His cone was removed, and Parker left to grab Lemonade’s pain medication and a soft fluffy pill pocket, along with some ear plugs.
“Wan weggies! Huu huu…! Wiww be gud fwuffy! Wumps su itchies!”
With the ear plugs inserted in their ears, Parker squished up the pill into the pocket and brought it back to Lemonade, who was still screaming and squirming in the leggie holder. “Here. This will make you feel better.”
Lemonade’s cries were softer when he smelled the tasty treat. He reached forward to sniff at it. “Huu huu… Am tweat fo’ Wemonabe…?”
Parker let Lemonade eat it out of their open hand. “I wouldn’t say you deserve it, but it’ll help make the itch go away. You only have to stay in the leggie holder until you’re not itchy anymore, okay?”
“Otay, Daddeh… Huu huu, nu wan weggie howdew…” Lemonade sniffled, putting on his biggest and most pathetic face in an attempt to beg his way out. “Pwease wet ou’…?”
“Just give it a bit, sucky boy. Are you thirsty?”
Lemonade’s head rested on the edge of the holder, knowing his begging had failed. “Yus, Daddeh…” he mumbled.
Parker went to get Lemonade’s water for him, and all Lemonade could do was wait for the itching to stop.