I managed to write something under 500 words.
I was reminded of the “Alexa play baby shark tweet” which prompted this.
Dylan was the best fluffy. A bright White unicorn colt with red mane that his mummah had gotten for Chrismas. He was finally proper a walkin’ talkin’ dancin’ singin’ baby and he made sure the world knew. “Mummah! Dywan wan watch dancing bebbehs!” She was dressed like she was ready to leave the house. “Not now. I’ll play it when I get back in a couple minutes. Alexa tv off.”
The Blamazon Alexa she had got for Christmas beeped “Turning TV off.” and the tv that was playing the news turned off. Mummah didn’t listen but at least the weird talkie box mummah did. Not that he was allowed to, Dummy mummah found out she could hear him and told him he would be grounded from skettis if he talked to her.
The door shut behind mummah and he turned around. He had seen mummah do this enough times. This should be easy. “Awexa, pway dancin bebbehs!” The TV turned back on. “Playing dancing babbies on FluffTV from your Blamazon firestick.” The TV flipped over to FluffTV Foals and navigated to Dancing Babies. Just as he suspected, a piece of cake.
Dylan placed himself front and center in front of the screen and wiggled his legs to his heart’s content which was all of about five minutes before he was exhausted. He walked over to his food bowl and chewed on some foal kibble before gulping down some water.
He promptly dropped the fattest shit in his life into the litterbox, it’s journey sped along by the excessive workout he had just gotten.
He decided he would practice his singing next. He plopped down in his foal bed. “Awexa, pway singie bebbehs.” BEEP “Singing babies is available to purchase on Blamazon Music. Would you like to…”
Dummy, he thought. “Awexa, PWAY SINGIE BEBBEHS!” He had to be louder. Like when mummah didn’t listen to him. BEEP. “Playing Swingin’ Baby on Blamazon music.” Jazz started playing from her. “Dummeh moosic nu am gud! Awexa, stop!”
The music continued. “AWEXA!” BEEP “STAWP!” BEEP. The Saxaphone stopped. The Dylan rolled his eyes.
“AWEXA, PWAY SHINGEH BEHBEHS!” He almost snarled. BEEP. “I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that.”
“AWEXA AM DUMMEH!” BEEP “I may be a virtual assistant, but your words are still very real. Please keep them respectful.”
“AAAAAAAAHH!!!” That was the final straw. He just wanted to play singing babies and practice his art.
He was going to give her sorry hoofs. He jumped at the wire that hung over the kitchen counter where she was plugged in. He jumped and jumped, he managed to finally grab it with his teeth and began pulling. Once she fell down he would give her the worstest sorry hoofs and poopies! The wire went slack.
The last thing he saw as he looked up was the five-pound chunk metal slamming into his face. His mummah came back five minutes later with a takeout pizza to find his head caved in on the kitchen floor.