Alicorns are NOT monsters (by recreationalsadist)

Berrybell was upset. Why didn’t her mummah realize that the thing she was insisting was her babbeh was actually a munstah?

“It’s your foal, now feed it!”

“But Mummah, it am munstah!”

“It’s an alicorn! And if you do anything to hurt it I’m going to sell you to a breeder to use as a milkbag! And before I do that I’ll force you to watch Frank Miller’s film adaptation of The Spirit!”

“But dat mobie am su bowing an dummeh!”

“More specifically I’ll force you to watch the parts without Samuel L Jackson so you won’t even have the so bad it’s good parts to help you tolerate the rest of it before you’re milkbagged!”

“Huuhuu. Wiww gib munstah babbeh miwkies and wub, jus nu du dat tu Bewwybeww!”

“Good!”

Berrybell’s mummah left the room.

Berrybell’s alicorn babbeh chirped as it opened it’s eyes and looked around. It was a red alicorn.

Seeing that there was only them in the room the alicorn reached up with it’s front hooves and twisted it’s neck 180 degrees with a sickening snapping sound. Berrybell screamed in horror.

Sarah ran into the room to see what had happened.

“YOU KILLED YOUR FOAL?! RIGHT AFTER I TOLD YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?! THIS IS ON YOU!”

“NUUU! BEWWYBEWW NU HUWT MUNSTAH! PWEASE, MUMMAH!”

Sarah grabbed Berrybell by the scruff of her neck and carried her off.

The alicorn then proceeded to reach up with it’s hooves and unsnap it’s neck. It then proceeded to retract it’s wings. And then ran face-first into the wall, compacting it’s horn and head into it’s torso.

What was left was a bright red thing with a very flat face. And a smile that looked like a smiley face.

Author’s Note: Alicorns are not monsters. Jellenheimers on the other hand…

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Jesus Christ. That’s fucking savage.

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I thought this was a reposting of the one where the alicorn sucked so hard they drank their parents bones and insides and just left them a skin sack (only with movie commentary) at first. xD

Jelalicorn is my new favorite breed. :slight_smile: