I am a quiet man, I usually don’t bother with most other people in my community and in return they don’t bother me. However, I still vividly remember the one dickhead neighbor and his little entourage of butt-buddies I lived next to and how I destroyed his house using nothing but a colony of Microfluffies. Go easy on me, this is my first time posting to /FC/
Chapter I. Prelude
>be 35 Y/O NEET
>live with by myself in quiet community near the edge of a small town
>both parents had me really late into their lives
>insist I wasn’t an accident when I was little to make me feel better about it and cull any potential doubts/confusion
>Grandfather had stocks in UPS before they got big and turned a massive profit
>Parents pulled out and allowed me to live pretty comfortably.
>spend most of my time playing vidya or taking care of fluffy I own named ‘Cinnamon’
>pic related
>LifeIsGood.jpg
>only leave the house to go grocery shopping or do yard work
>usually let Cinnamon come with me to keep me company
>the house shares a fence line with another house to our right and back
>never see neighbors in the back but become good friends with side neighbors
>they're an elderly couple somewhere in their 80's
>Wife did finances for Kaiser Health Care
>Husband was a mechanic and has a metric fuckton of scrap parts in their back yard
>likes to take cars apart and frankenstein them together using different parts
>MadMax.mov
>become really good friends with wife
>talk to her while I rake and she tends to a small garden she has
>invites me over to dinner one night
>try to get out of it by saying that I have to take care of Cinnamon
>say that he’s not used to being alone for too long
>neighbors say that it’s okay and he can come too
>”O-Okay”
>fuck.
>head over at like 7 with Cinnamon
>actually manage to keep spaghetti in pockets and enjoy myself
>Cinnamon LOVES being with her husband
>she invites us over again and I agree
>for nearly two years we had a ‘get together’ night once per week and changed who cooked
>even had a shitty cheap gate installed in the fence so Cinnamon can visit
>>FF Like 5 years
>Husband passes away from Cancer and wife moves away to be with family
>says the house has ‘too many memories’ and wants to move on
>try to convince her to stay but her mind is made up
>end up helping her move all her things into a U-Haul which takes about a month to do
>takes an additional week to go through car parts to sort out the junk form anything useful
>say my last goodbyes and watch her pull away
>Cinnamon and I cry like a bitch that night
Chapter II. New Neighbor
>>FF A month after old neighbor moves out
>house goes up for sale but no one buys
>use the other yard as extra running space for Cinnamon
>most people here are old money, either having inherited or being retired
>place is basically a suburban nursing home just minus any nurses
>location is also kinda ass
>miles away from any of the shops
>no streetlights
>road rarely get repaved or swept
>basically in the boonies
>figure the house will either be abandoned or bought by some old fart.
>OhSweetSummerChild.tumblr
>hear loud ass motor break sound barrier
>autism kicks in and assumes that it is a gunshot and someone had gone postal
>run inside
>lock doors
>close blinds
>...
>wait for like 15 minutes in my bedroom with Cinnamon
>holding a beebee gun pointed at the door
>don’t have actual gun because I never needed one and dad wasn’t allowed to own one
>eventually go out to check out the carnage
>turns out I had gotten spooked by a souped-up muscle car which is parked in my neighbor’s driveway
>mfw
>finally go out to investigate
>some young guy is talking with a realestate agent in the driveway
>assume it’s some guy’s son coming to look at the house and go back to dicking around in backyard
Chapter III. Introductions
>>FF 2 weeks
>moving van comes to dump shit into house
>too anxious to introduce myself and just watch from a distance
>notice that the people moving stuff were young guys, including the guy I saw before
>’must have a lot of kids’ methinks
>two of them lean against the truck to take a short break
>Cinnamon thinks that this is a great time to introduce herself
>without me
>”Hewwo, neu fwiends?”
>tfw they see a lone fluffy walk up to them
>she gets kicked with the strength of a thousand tards
>SCREEE.mp4
>lands on lawn, blood pouring from her mouth and nose
>”Nu taste pwetty...”
>finally get the lead out of my ass and run over her faster than a redditor nice guy runs to the defense of a female twitch streamer
>”WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! GET AWAY FROM HER!!”
>punt cunt and friend back off and my throat now hurts from screaming
>rarely ever yell, let alone raise my voice so that’s why
>neighbors across from us come to see what the issue is
>”Oh fuck, sorry. Is that shitrat yours?”
>TheFuckDidYouJustSayToMe.Ninja
>”Dude chill out it’s just a fluffy you can go and buy another one for dirt cheap”
>tell them that they can’t just go around kicking fluffies since other people in the neighborhood had them
>show them her BRIGHT RED COLLAR AND TAG WITH HER NAME ON IT to show that she was not a feral and couldn’t use the excuse of thinking that she was
>other neighbors now watching
>social pressure mounts
>little shits give half-hearted apology and continue moving their shit
>I take Cinnamon to the vet for a broken jaw and nose
>can’t eat solids and has to eat through a straw until it heals
>get charged out the ass for the visit and neutrian paste so she doesn’t starve to death
>fml
Chapter IV. It begins
>next day
>go out to get mail in sweatpants, slippers, and a t-shirt
>probably like 7-8 o’clock in the morning
>tired af
>Cinnamon follows very close behind me so she is not attacked by the ‘meanie munstah nabows’
>feel like that hen from the Tom and Jerry Cartoon where Tom tries to steal Jerry away from a mother hen who thinks Tom is trying to steal her eggs/chicks
>kek
>moment I reach the mailbox I see the fuckers from yesterday plus the kid who came in the muscle car
>I failed to mention this in previous chapters but these kids are really young
>like mid 20’s young
>dressed in designer clothing and holding the latest phone model
>they speak what I can only describe as ‘modern snake tongue’ blurting slang and buzzwords into their phones
>they begin approaching my house
>Cinnamon hides behind me
>try to smooth things over after chewing them out yesterday by saying ‘good morning’
>tfw
>ok lol
>grab my mail, make breakfast, and mow/edge the lawn before spending the rest of the day watching Black Dynamite (2011) and playing with Cinnamon
>overall, a pretty good day I’d say
>until
>8 PM
>just got done with a particularly intense TF2
>Cinnamon is asleep on the bed while I game
>all of a sudden I hear the new neighbors making noise
>loud enough to be heard by me in my room
>all the way on the opposite side of the house
>with the door closed
>fuck it
>go see what all the noise is about
>put on my shoes
>make my out the back
>peek over the fence
>fuckers built a bonfire in the middle of the yard
>inches away from wooden fence and house
>they have their phones out and are hollering and hooting like cavemen discovering fire for the first time
>tell them that shit isn’t safe and to put it out or else I’ll call the fire department
>keep in mind, this massive inferno is not in any kind of pit/rock circle so if it collapses or a strong wind comes by the embers will fly everywhere
>one of them tells me to ‘shut up and mind my business since it’s not my yard’
>”Bitch neither of us are going to have a yard let alone a HOUSE if this shit keeps up”
>ohnobro
>she runs at the fence and tries to lunge at me like a FNaF Character
>ends up smashing her face on the rotting wooden boards
>karma.kek
>leave them alone and phone in about the situation
>fire department arrives like 40 minutes later
>sneak out to watch them get reprimanded and fined whilst the mega inferno is finally put out
>return to my home and watch L4D2 Rocket Jump speed runs before turning in for the night
Chapter V. The Final Straw
>have had new neighbors for about a week now
>things are still rocky but try to be polite
>say good morning to them when getting mail
>try to make small talk while raking
>only get scowls or silence in response
>worksfineforme.jpg
>one problem
>Cinnamon misses the extra play room
>try explaining that it’s not safe but she insists on going over there anyways
>usually pretty content but won’t stop bugging me about it.
>eventually cave and ask neighbors about letting her come over
>finally get response out of punt cunt
>asks why
>tell him situation with old neighbor and how I’d let her run around their yard when they moved out
>actually let me and Cinnamon come over for a bit
>spidersenses.jpg
>ignore it, wanting Cinnamon to stop badgering me
>gate opens
>Cinnamon walks through
>gate closes
>”Hey, would you guys open the gate for me too? I want to keep an eye on her and clean up any messes she makes”
>...
>oh fuck no they didn’t
>get on trash bin
>hop fence
>empty
>the fuckers scattered quicker than cockroaches into the house
>”YO! LET CINNAMON GO FUCKHEADS!”
>stoockcrickets.mp3
>go to back door
>locked
>made of solid wood
>literally nothing I could do without catching a charge
>run home
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i4q46SfLUw
>doughnut cop and lanks show up at kidnappers’ house
>ask about the whereabouts of Cinnamon and give physical description
>those goddamn mongoloids lie through their fucking teeth
>no warrant
>can’t search house
>leave
>incredible
>sit inside and pray that they just hack off a limb or something before dropping her off on my doorstep
>constantly check front and back door + yards for any sign of my fluffy
>no luck
>end up going to bed at 2 am because eyes couldn’t stay open any longer
>get like 5 hours of sleep before repeating the process all over again
>staying awake by pure adrenaline, coffee, and force of will
>feels like my entire skeleton wants to eject itself from its skin prison
>eventually see one of them leave their house with a headlamp and dump something on my front porch
>fling the door open and scare the shit out of him
>https://youtu.be/1VPvhPTU8ig
>look down
>it's a box
>there’s blood on the bottom.
>carefully bring it inside and place it in the sink
>stomach drops
>it’s Cinnamon
>Those assholes had removed all her legs and crudely wielded them back together using dental floss and what I can only assume was some piece of superheated metal
>tongue was missing
>eyes too
>part of broken jawbone sticking out on left side
>mane was now mohawk
>tail completely gone
>not clipped, REMOVED
>fluffy coat missing
>obscenities like ‘WORSTEST BEBBEH’ and ‘POOPIE’ scrawled all over her along with common swears
>obviously dead
>mfw some spoiled brats had just killed my best and only friend over a fire that would have burned down BOTH our houses OVER A WEEK AGO.
>mfw if I had the balls I’d drive my car right through their house into the bedroom while they slept
>mfw
Chapter VI. Depression
>nearly two months after Cinnamon’s Death
>have not left the house or showered in weeks
>house is a mess due to dust and takeout/pizza boxes
>literally did not have the will to leave room and cook
>yards become neglected
>front yard looks like The Amazon and back yard is more or less the same
>gain nearly 100 pounds, now weighing close to 265 lbs.
>beard grows in long and patchy
>hair becomes long and frizzy before being gelled down and snarled by my own natural grease
>look like the lovechild of Weird Al Yankovic in ‘EAT IT’ and Napoleon Dynamite
>neighbors try to check up on me and many complain about lawn
>some think that I died
>housing committee tells me to either fix my shit in like a week or I’ll have to find a new place to stay.
>genuinely thinking about killing myself either by downing BLEACH or by buying GLOCK-17 and turning the vloggers into bullet sponges before offing myself
>end up buying GLOCK-17 and ammo from the gun store next town over since ours didn’t have one
>want to make every bullet count so I began training using empty soda cans propped up on the old scrap parts I never used
>water damage and weathering make them useless now
>my emotions and lack of sleep caused by long gaming/vidya sessions made it so I couldn’t hit shit
>breakdown in middle of yard
>consider just blasting myself then and there
>”Wai big mistah make sad wawa?”
>”Wittle fwuffy gib biggest huggies an make hewties gu way!”
>GenuineDisbelief.ogg
>look down
>see microfluffy near left knee
>mfw
>it hugs my thumb
>feel genuine happiness but don’t know how to express it to the small fluffy without accidentally crushing them
>no longer crying from sadness
>now crying tears of joy
>fluffy becomes concerned and calls friends over
>nearly 50 more tiny fluffies come and climb onto me
>FeelsGoodMan.jpg
Chapter VII. March of The Minis Part 1
>thank fluffies and offer them to come inside
>cheer.stock
>one in hand asks if they can bring ‘herd’
>agree
>”Yay! Tank ou mistah, fwuffy wub nu daddeh an nue homsie:”
>whothefuckiscuttingonions?
>climbs down from hand
>other fluffies vanish
>silence
>...
>..
>...
>fluffies emerge again
>thousands of them do from under the car parts
>YouPlantedGrass?.png
>invite them inside
>literal rainbow-colored moving carpet climbs up stairs (with some help) and into home
>realize I have nowhere to put them all
>improvise
>clean out Cherry’s old litter box and put them in there
>shit was practically fossilized due to sitting in there for so long
>still not large enough
>get egg cartoons and old boxes
>half of living room covered in boxes
>thankfully enough room for them for now
>feels great to get up and move again
>mood drastically improved
>pick up one and place it on kitchen counter
>ask it to explain where they came from
>”I thought micros were only kept inside of terrariums like ants
>nope
>neighbors behind me had kids apparently
>got them for christmas
>terrarium tipped over thanks to cat and they escaped
>turned the pile of old car parts into a nest
>even dug under it too
>apparently Micros are really good at digging
>urethra.png
>offer to keep them as pets if they do some things for me
>other fluffies agree unanimously
>I will avenge you Cinnamon
Chapter VIII. March of The Minis Part 2
>>FF a month
>micro colony now lives inside full-time
>bought a few hamster cages
>afix tubes to each one
>the bright colors and transparency makes them use them frequently
>pic related, it’s what I started out with but it’s probably triple this size now
>if jammed, they are easily removed and cleared depending on how severe the blockade is
>so far no casualties
>population continues to expand
>pipes become blocked more and more frequently now due to traffic
>all according to keikaku
>go to image gallery
>see pictures of me and Cinnamon from when she was still a chirpy baby
>even have pictures of her with her mom
>EmotionalCrit!!
>scroll past them until I find what I’m looking for
>blueprints of the neighbor’s house
>only reason for having them was because I went under their house to empty a clogged pipe
>ended up getting shat on while down there by Husband who didn’t know
>worth it
>got some bomb-ass cookies out of it
>analyze blueprints
>house is elevated slightly
>trap door in garage and kitchen pantry leads under house
>Bueno
>begin setting phase 2 of plan into motion
>take roughly 12 newborn foals and place into separate terrarium
>mother begs to see them
>decline and give a dollop of ketchup to take her mind off of them
Chapter IX. March of The Minis Part 3
>raise foals using formula from a dropper until fully developed
>have them breed and raise entirely separate colony
>nearly 100 micros strong before creating ‘The Illusion’
>tell them that when their colony is ‘big and strong’ they’ll get their own big home with lots of food and space to run around and play
>this incentivises them eat and breed more often even by micro standards
>colony size almost quadruples in the span of a month
>they’re ready
>wait until roughly 4 am to put things into motion
>empty micro colony into large hiking backpack, telling them they’re going to their ‘new home’
>it's a tight squeeze but they should be fine
>grab ladder used for pruning big-ass tree in backyard
>use to unhook latch on gate and bend paperclip to keep it open
>lockpick100
>awkwardly shamble into enemy territory and put ladder next to fence
>if caught now, will be mondo fucked and probably be charged with trespassing and other shit
>make way to garage
>grip knob and try to open door
>no fucking way
>its unlocked
>dumbasses must think being surrounded by old people makes them safe from robberies
>go in
>find trap door
>crawl under house
>emerge in pantry
>thing is stacked with imported Japanese candies, poptarts, canned goods, etc.
>roughly the size of a small closet
>it's time
>tell them to ‘be quiet or else monsters will get them since it’s dangerous during the night.’
>they agree and begin infesting the pantry
>boxes are gnawed open
>cereal bags are nibbled
>some even begin to mark their territory by pissing and shitting
>tell them that I’ll visit them soon and leave
>they’re too distracted indulging in themselves to care
Chapter X. March of The Minis Part 4
>next day
>exterminator van pulls up
>figure they’d be there just a few minutes to get the micros and then leave
>dead
>fucking
>wrong
>turns out they managed to get into walls using old mouse hole in pantry
>microfluffies are now IN THE WALLS talking, fucking, shitting, and running
>first case that exterminators had ever seen
>ask neighbors if they want a specialist or to try and get rid of them or just try and kill them like usual rats
>specialist would take longer to get out there and cost more but ensured their removal while a usual fumigation squad was cheaper and quicker
>...
>they chose neither
>they thought they could get rid of them by themselves
>exterminators leave
>the war for the house begins
>muscle car man leaves
>returns hours later with a literal carfull of squirrel traps
>traps are set inside house with food in them
>can barely even walk in house now with all the traps
>pantry is now completely forfeit
>food included
>traps manage to catch a few fluffies but they learn quick
>only ones being caught are desperate parents and smarties
>>FF 3 days
>traps no longer work
>microfluffies OUTBREED the pace at which they are being caught
>infestation expands from walls to beneath the house
>am now getting the fluffies which I PUT IN THE OTHER HOUSE COME TO ME FOR FOOD
>agree but tell them they can’t stay here
>thehivemustgrow
>>FF another 3 days
>everything has gone to literal and metaphorical shit
>shit in the wall
>shit on the floor
>shit under the goddamn house
>specialist was called but it would be a month before they could get a micro exterminator out there
>have seen bio waste bin overflow with multicolor pelts
>FawowsCuwse.hieroglyph
**Chapter XI. Tipping the Scales**
>during all the chaos I managed to get my life together somewhat
>properly cleaned house
>got back into routine of yard work
>exercised to lose gained weight
>actually bathed and shaved
>even got hair cut
>things were back to normal
>even learned how to handle micro empire
>used special kibble to cull the population that was getting out of hand
>even considered dumping some of them through the chimney but I grew too attached to these ones in particular
>one day see richfags when getting mail
>say "good morning" like usual
>clothes are stained with little brown skidmarks
>smell like absolute ass
>try my best to keep from hurling and crack up laughing at the same time
>suckerpunch.CharlieZelenoff
>what the fuck?
>they think I’m the one who planted the micros in their house
>feign innocence
>”I haven’t left my house in months, losing my fluffy made me depressed and I’m finally starting to get over it”
>”I don’t even *have* any more fluffies”
>barely holding back shit eating grin at this point
>muscle car looks like he’s ready to pop a blood vessel and his cronies can see through the bullshit
>don’t say another word
>neighbor comes out to get mail
>they leave
>hours later
>police at door
>it’s coppopotamus and his sidekick the human stick
>fuckers called the police saying that I hit them and threatened to kill them
>whattheactualfuck
>tell paul blart and barnacle boy that I didn’t and the neighbor across the street saw the whole thing
>they nod and leave
>talk to the guy
>come back
>apologize and ask if I want to press charges
>decide not to
Chapter XII. Behind The Scenes
>shit continues to go out of control while I’m on my redemption arc
>washing clothes does nothing since the micros will just shit on them anyways
>all food was kept in fridge until dumbass micros managed to gnaw through chords
>no longer have fridge
>rely on canned goods and takeout
>found out later that they still live streamed during all of this and e-begged for money to move out
>turns out the little shits weren’t even big time
>bought expensive clothes and house to ‘fake it until they made it’
>couldn’t afford house in LA so settled for upper-middle class suburbs
>only thing not faked was the muscle car
>birthday present from ACTUALLY SUCCESSFUL father of muscle car lad
>therapist
>lol
>should have gave him money to sort through their shit instead of blowing it all on a 60+ year old house and high-end fashion
>eventually couldn’t take it any more
>the bad poopies and peepees
>the incessant babbling of the fluffies
>the tarnishing of everything they had
>it was all too much
>they pack their shit covered things
>get in their shit covered car
>drive away from shit-filled house
>I won
Chapter XIII. Aftermath
>word spread quick about the microfluffy house
>even spread outside of community and made local news
>some come to take some for themselves
>the rest scatter to the wind
>no nummies = no fluffies
>waste was cleaned out
>house was put back onto market
>its been months and no one wants to touch it
>give my mega colony to the neighbor’s kids who lost theirs
>they love it
>parents thank me
>leave
>little shits go separate ways
>muscle car killed a family in a drunk driving accident
>got like 15 years or something crazy like that
>family belonged to a judge
>TheGameWasRiggedFromTheStart.intro
>punt cunt works raw sewage cleanup
>saw him once to clear a fatberg in the sewers once
>grew a long-ass beard and mullet
>nameless cunt never really cared about
>no idea where she is or what she does tbh
>decided to stop being a NEET
>wanted to do something with my life
>starting small
>got an office job
>desk jockey
>used to being on computer all day so perfect fit
>110 WPM
>got new fluffy
>name him ‘Mint’ because of his color
>had him for a year now actually
>typing the last bit of this on company time
>will make up for lost time by working through lunch
>not too hungry anyways.
Welp, that’s it /FC/ hope you enjoyed, gotta get back to work now. Maybe I’ll post more when I get home.