It worked.
I couldn’t believe it had fucking worked.
The K.Y.L.E.S. (Kinetic Youngish Lucky Energetic Squad) had done their jobs perfectly.
The R.O.C.K. (Rocket Offensive Credible Kid) throwers had performed beyond what anyone had hoped.
And I was able to get in. Area 51. The big cheese.
I looked around to get my bearings and figure out how to get to the thicc alien cheeks. I saw I was in Sector F.
Sector F? What could be in here?
I worked my way through hallways and offices, fortunate that all of the security was still dealing with the others who had managed to infiltrate. Finding a security station that was logged in, I immediately started to dig through the computer.
What I found was…confusing.
Nothing about that sweet, SWEET, alien booty I was searching for, but only information about something that I immediately gave me a weird feeling.
Secret Project: F.L.U.F.F.Y.
“What the actual fuck is this?” I whispered, digging deeper into the files.
F.L.U.F.F.Y. Friendly Loquacious Ultimate Fecal Firing Yueks. What the fuck-mothering hell could this be? Some new weapon? Some kind of advanced technology? The THICCEST AND MEATIEST alien cheeks of them all?
I had to know.
Unlocking the sector and memorizing my path from the map, I took off down the hall. Sprinting past offices, bathrooms, and alien fuck-dens, I found the vault for Project: F.L.U.F.F.Y. This was it. The most secret and secured secret these bastards had. Carefully opening the door, I peered in.
“Nyu daddeh?”
My eyes melted. My brain fried. I knew I had one chance.
“CODE BLACK! BLOW THE REACTOR!” I screamed.
Thank god for team N.A.R.U.T.O. (Nuclear Alternative Responsive Ultimate Territorial Outcome).
The last thing I felt was a soft hoof touch my leg and the sweet release of nuclear fire.
No one should see what I had seen. No one should experience that creature. No one should face what I faced.
No one.