The camera clicked, the image came into view and Professor Henry Gascoigne took his seat behind it. A sound of shuffling papers and the click of a pen could be heard as the head researcher cleared his throat.
The image was now clear as crystal and revealed an all white room with a plastic clinical table in the center and sat upon it, on a small pillow, with a look overflowing with annoyance and impatience was a neon orange fluffy stallion with a two toned mane of red and yellow.
“this is interview one of five with test subject S-47, known as ‘Danté’. Subject was surrendered to Armitage Labs on the 14th of December of 2023 by the son of subject S-47’s previous owner… Beginning interview”
“good morning, Danté, how are we feeling today?”
“enf off!”
“come now, is that appropriate behaviour?”
“nu cawe!”
“why do you not care about being a good fluffy, Danté?”
“AM AWWAYS GUD FWUFFY! AM DA BESTEST FWUFFY!”
“why do you believe that to be so?”
“am awways gud, mummah and hoomin mummah saysie su!”
Henry began to take notes before looking up and pushing his half moon shaped spectacles back to the top of his nose’s bridge.
“I see. May I ask where both of your mothers are now?”
“nu no, nu cawe…”
“I believe that you are lying to me, Danté”
“SMAWTY SAYSIE DAT SNAWTY NU NO!”
“…”
“…”
“very well, we will return to this subject later if that is what you would prefer?”
“…”
The professor took a small sip from his coffee and scribbled some more into his stack of papers.
“let us begin talking about your name… why do you insist on being called ‘Smarty’?”
“cus am smawty fwuffy, bettah den dummeh fwuffies”
“how so? Can you demonstrate this superiority?”
“wat am su… Su… Sup-ewy-owitie?”
“it means that you can prove that you are better than everyone else. Do you have some special skills or gift that makes you better than other fluffies?”
“Jus am bettah! An dat am dat!”
“really now? How interesting. Who told you this, was it one of your mothers?”
“FWUFFY NU WAN TAWK BOUT MUMMAHS!”
“why not? Are you scared, a coward? I thought you said you were better than other fluffies and I’m fairly certain the other fluffies would be scared right now…”
“SMAWTY NU AM SCAWDIE! NU SCAWED OB NUFFIN!”
Henry chuckled lightly as he ticked a few boxes in the bottom right corner of his clipboard.
“have you ever experienced anything that made you scared”
“…nu…”
“what about what happened to your fluffy mother?”
“…”
“wel-”
“dummeh mummah gu foweva sweepies, onwy dummeh stoopid mummahs gu foweva sweepies…”
“is that a fair way to remember your mother? She eventually died of such a dreadful mix of long term complications from giving birth to your younger brother after all”
“su!”
“and do you love your sibling, regardless of his condition?”
“him am biggest dummeh”
“but you love him, correct?”
“Nu!”
“then can you please explain this?”
The professor tapped a few apps and searched through the files of his work tablet before presenting a copy of the surveillance footage to Danté. It was last night’s security video from Danté and Virgil’s shared crate.
The footage revealed Danté carefully stroking the mane and lightly cooing against his smaller, chubbier and drooling sibling of near identical colouration, who groaned in fear as he suckled his own hoof.
“that looks like love to me”
“WUS COWD!”
“yes, I’m sure that was the reason…”
“…”
“so do you love your brother?”
“…nu…”
“then would you permit myself and my assistant researchers to hurt and possibly kill him?”
“NU TOWCH DUMMEH VIWGIW!”
“why not? Did you not state that you did not care about him?”
“WIWW GIB WOWSTEST HUWTIES!”
“really? Would you attempt to harm me if I gave you the option?”
“YUS!”
“very well then, I invite you to try…”
The professor arose from his seat loudly and walked partially into the view of the camera. Revealing a white beard and a white coat. The professor then pulled back the sleeve and removed the plastic glove from his left hand and placed it in front of the stallion, who immediately took a defensive posture.
The stallion then proceeded to strike at the hand seventeen times before turning and bucking five and then finally turning again and attempting to bite the professor’s thumb.
When the attempted assault had concluded, the stallion was left a huffing and exhausted mess that wobbled intensely before collapsing back onto his rump.
The professor then washed his hand with disinfectant before re-gloving and returning to his seat.
“now, how much damage do you think you have done to my person?”
“Smawty HUFF g-gabe HUFF dah w-worstest HUFF huwties…”
“I’m afraid not, Danté. I can confirm that you did absolutely no damage to my body and caused no pain. Your hoofs we like little pillows and your bite tickled… at best”
“WIAR!”
“no, I regret to inform you that I am in fact telling you the truth”
“…”
“how does that make you feel, to know that you are incapable of harming me?”
“SMAWTY HAYTCHU!”
“I also regret to inform you that I do not care, Danté”
"SNAWTY HATCHYU! GU FOWEVA SWEEPIES!
“nu, I do not think I will and you are completely incapable of making that happen”
“…”
“does it upset you that you have no control over life or death?”
“nu… gu way…”
“does it upset you in the same metric to how you couldn’t stop your mother from dying?”
“Shuddup!”
“or your owner?”
“DANTEH SAY SHUDDUP!”
“…”
“…”
“are you aware that you had just used your name?”
“…”
“Danté?”
“…wan gu back tu boxie…”
“very well, I believe I could do with a break myself…”
The video ends.
-to be continued-
Interview 2 can be found here.
Credit to @Elder-Berry32 for helping sculpt the idea for this story.