Bad Nummies, by Swindle

You’re Applefluff! You’re an awesome fluffy pony! Your daddy named you Applefluff because you have peach colored fluff and a bright green mane and tail, with some white dappling on your back leggies and rear; he says you look like a bowl of Applejacks cereal. You think daddy’s silly.

One day, while daddy is at work, you play with your blocks until you notice the door to your safe room is open a little! Daddy forgot to close it when he left! You’re a little scared, but you decide to be a good fluffy and close the door; daddy would like that, you think.

But when you trot over to the door, you stop. It’s kinda scary, but… maybe it would be fun to explore the house while daddy’s gone? He never lets you into some rooms, and he fusses when you get into stuff you shouldn’t be exploring (but you didn’t know it was a no-no! How can you be a good fluffy if you don’t know it’s a no-no?). But now you can explore the whole house while daddy isn’t there to fuss at you! You’re scared, because you know it’s bad to do this, and you don’t want to be a bad fluffy and disappoint daddy, but he won’t be disappointed because he won’t know you did it! You’ll explore the house, then go back in the safe room and close the door and he’ll think you were a good fluffy!

Smiling, you trot out into the house.

There’s the big soft thing you and daddy sit on to watch the magic glowy-talky pictures box. It’s a cowch. There’s a table; it’s a place that daddy sets things on. You explore the whole house, but most of the doors are closed, so you can’t explore those rooms. One is open though, and it’s a new room you haven’t seen before!

It has a biiiiig soft thing that smells like daddy. Maybe it’s his nestie? You try to hop up there and see, but it’s too tall. You fall on your poopie place and it gives you owies. You only cry a little though; it doesn’t hurt much, and you still want to explore!

You go into the other open door and see that it’s the little room where daddy puts in the big bowl full of warm wawas and puts smell-pretty in your fluff so you’re nice and clean. Oh! You hadn’t seen that before! Next to the daddy litter box (that makes wawa sounds when he’s done using it, for reason) is a box with little doors on it! They’re too little for daddy to fit through, so you don’t know what they’re for. You grab the knob in your mouth and tug it open.

It smells funny in here. You find a biiiiiiiig marshmallow and pull it out and try to nibble on it, but it doesn’t taste good at all; it tastes like the news-peppers daddy puts in your safe room in case you make bad peepees. You make bleagh noises and push it away with your hoofsies; it’s not good nummies. You stick your head in the little room and snick some more to see if there’s anything interesting.

Oh! That smells like…


You love chocolate! You nibbled a piece daddy left on the cowch once and he fussed at you and said it wasn’t good for fluffies, but you thought it was good! You haven’t had any since, but you recognize the smell! Hmm… Daddy isn’t here, so he can’t fuss at you if you eat just a little… You pull the whole bag out of the little room and work a piece of the chocolate out using your nosie and hoofsies.


You dig another piece out of the bag and eat it too. Chocolate is good nummies, you don’t understand why daddy would tell you they’re bad for fluffies. You think you should put the bag back and go back to your safe room before daddy gets home, but one more piece wouldn’t hurt…

Before you know it, you’ve eaten almost the whole bag. Your tummeh is way full. You ate too much and now you feel sickies. You wobble back to the safe room and lay down in your nestie, almost forgetting to close the door so daddy doesn’t know you got out. You don’t feel so good.

You’re John. You own the cutest little fluffy mare. She’s a good fluffy, very well behaved, but she’s too curious for her own good; she’s always getting into stuff she shouldn’t and always trying to explore. You had an old stallion years ago and could leave him in the house unsupervised while you were at work, but Applefluff is too nosy; you have to keep her locked up in her safe room so she doesn’t get into anything dangerous or make a mess trying to get someplace she shouldn’t be.

You walk through the front door, hang your keys on the hook, and head to your room to change out of your work clothes. Next, you need to take a shower after working outside in the heat all day, and then you’ll let your poor little fluffy out of her safe room and play with her a while before making dinner.

You walk into the bathroom and immediately notice a roll of toilet paper on the floor. Huh. How did that get there? Wait, why is the cabinet under the sink open? You put the toilet paper back in the cabinet and then notice something.

The bag is almost empty. It was mostly full the last time you used it. How did-

“Oh, SHIT!”

You run to the safe room and find the door closed; you don’t know how she got out, but you hope-

Opening the door, you find Applefluff sprawled in the middle of the room. There’s… oh gosh, it’s everywhere. It’s on the floor. On the walls. In her bed. On her fluff. In her litter box. In her food bowl. It’s… oh fuck, it’s everywhere.

“Daddeh… hewp… Appuwfwuff nuh… feew good…”

You gently pick her up, holding her away from you, and take her to the bathroom to wash her up. The stench is horrific. You pull your cell phone out of your pocket and dial the vet.

“Hey, Doctor Burton? Yeah, it’s John again. Listen, I have a problem. How bad is it if a fluffy were to eat, say, almost an entire bag of Ex-Lax chocolates?”

“Appuwfwuff… nu wan chocwat… nu mowe… daddeh wight, bad fow fwuffy…”

Poor baby. She’ll be all right once you get her cleaned up and give her some fluids.

You’re not looking forward to cleaning the safe room though. Or sitting up all night with a fluffy that has explosive diarrhea.

The joys of being a fluffy owner.


Well, not like I can’t think of analogous situations involving other animals (not mine, luckily) . Knowing your pet will be fine is all that matters, if you care for them.


Very cute. Awful but cute. Silly Apple fluff!


I don’t understand. The fluffy owner was worried about his fluffy instead of frothing at the mouth and going murder crazy on her? /s


Right? A pet owner that actually likes and care about their pet? Unheard of!


what is this sacrilege

Well, that “/s” usually indicates they were being sarcastic.

Yes, I’m aware what the user meant. My reply was playing into that. Please don’t make me explain the incredibly obvious joke.

Decent pet owners??? On my fluffytorture forum??? How dare ye.


It’s an abomination and must be put to the torch