My entry for the TOMBOLA Foal in a Can.
You are Pat Christian and you work too much. At least that is your excuse for not going out and a Saturday night with friends. When else will you have time to go grocery shopping? It isn’t because you can’t think of anyone to call who isn’t likely spending time at home with their kids. Whatever, just because you haven’t talked to anyone outside of work for a few weeks doesn’t make you lonely.
That’s when it catches your eye, a big red clearance tag on a pop up safe room for fluffies. Its only $10, down from $50. A happy fluffy is sitting inside what looks to be some sort of playpen with “Removable floor for easy cleaning!” The fluffy has a pure white coat with a sparkly purple mane. It looks familiar but you can’t place the name.
You spend some time looking it over. Maybe a fluffy would be fun. You could meet new people if you took it to one of the fluffy friendly parks in the city. And the pop up safe room could fit in your living room. I mean seriously, who has a whole extra room laying around for a fluffy? You make up your mind as you read the back and find it is both foal safe and can transform into a fluffy safe place as they get bigger and can roam the house.
On your way home you stop by the mall and find a Foal in a Can vending machine, or at least a version of one. It claims to be a better design, but the foals are in an opaque container so you can’t see what you’re getting. “Let’s roll the dice,” you think as you swipe your credit card. A motor whirrs away inside and with a soft clunk a can pops out of the machine.
After putting away the groceries and setting up the safe place you follow the directions on the can. You push in the little rubber bits sticking out around the can that holds the foal harness before opening the top. It has a bit of a sour odor from the potty tissue at the bottom of the can but it at least it doesn’t smell like death.
You gently slide the foal and feeding chamber out and get your first look at your new fluffy. A tiny light Purple unicorn foal with tufts of red mane and tail is now sitting on your table. It actually looks too small. It looks like one of the legs is already sticking out of the rubber harness for who knows for how long. Did you get a runt? Great, you got a dud on your first fluffy. You’ve heard they usually have defects that cause early death in fluffies. Though if it survived being in the can it might be okay.
The rubber harness slides off with some light tugging and the foal starts stretching its legs after being confined for, you guess a while, but don’t know how long canned foals sit on the shelf for. You can see it is a male fluffy though. Teeny weeny peeny, hehehe. Holding the wiggling foal in one hand you gently tug the feeding and air tubes out from its nose and throat. The tubes slide out covered in mucus and spots of blood and as soon as the obstruction is clear the foal starts chirping.
You hold the foal in your hands as it cries out and coughs up more mucus before it takes some deep breaths and settles down. It starts trying to suckle your finger with increasing frustration since you don’t produce milk. Scrounging around in the tube you find a packet of formula powder and bring them both to the kitchen. You wrap the foal in a tea towel and grab a cup of lukewarm water from the tap to mix the power into. The directions say the foal should be old enough to drink from a dish but it was so small you ended up spoon feeding it.
After eating and fouling the towel the foal feel asleep. You kept it on the towel and held it in your lap as you sat on the couch and scrolled through fluffy care articles and chat threads. You’ll be up every few hours feeding the thing if it can’t drink from a dish yet. What did you get yourself into?
…
A little over a week has gone by since getting your very own fluffy. You ended up naming him plum based on his purple and read fluff. Plum was currently pushing a ball around his tiny “safe room.” He had opened his eyes and started talking a few days after you opened the can. He had trouble walking around for a while and you suspect it was because the harness in the can wasn’t working the way it should and stunted some development.
He seemed happy and healthy now, though smaller in size than he should be. You lean over the walls of the safe room and scoop Plum up for a little cuddle before you have to leave. Setting him back down you say, “Okay Plum, you be good while I’m gone. Use the litterbox if you need to make poopies or weewees and I’m be back right after work.”
“Noooo, mammeh stay wif Pwum! Pwum want to pway wif mammeh!” the little colt started crying and reached his arms up for upsies.
You just pat his head and tell him to, “be good,” before you head out the door. Your heart breaks a little after seeing those big eyes but if you don’t leave now he’ll never get used to it. Besides, someone needs to put food on the table.
…
You are Plum, a tiny fluffy unicorn and you have to bestest mama in the whole world. It’s been since forever since you last saw her though. She goes away for a long time but always comes back for nummies and play. You push your ball around some more, watching it bounce around. Silly ball!
Still though, your mama has been gone for a while now and you want hugs. You wander over to the side of the safe room and look at the door you mama went through earlier. You place your face to where two walls meet and peek through the little gap to stare at the door better. After a few minutes you hang your head and cry a little. When is mama coming back?
Through your tears you see something, extra space where the door and walls meet. It’s a tiny gap and it you were any bigger your wouldn’t have a chance, but you are you sized! With a little push you get your head through. Woah, the world is even bigger than you imagined! With a little extra effort you wriggle the rest of your body through though it gave you some hurties as you did it. You cried out for hug from your mama but she wasn’t there.
After crying and hugging yourself for a few minutes you look up again. Looking across the big living room you realized you had a whole big room to play in now. Time to go exploring.
You are Pat and just got home from work. As you are walking into the house you notice that the blinds are closed. They weren’t like that when you left. Burglars?
You check the front door; still locked. Okay, so that’s something. You walk into the house with your cell phone in hand and 911 already punched in. “Hello!” you call out into the house. You listen for footsteps or movement. Nothing. Then you remember Plum. Why didn’t he say anything? Oh no.
“Plum! Plum?” you rush over to the safe room but he isn’t there. Looking to the window you now see the body of your purple fluffy hanging from the pull string. You rush over and try to untangle him. Unwrapping the string from the neck of his ridged body falls into your hand. Cold and stiff with rigor mortis you know he probably died shortly after you left for work.
“You cheap piece of shit!” you yell, kicking the safe room and contents all over the living room. A few more kicks and you collapse on the couch still holding Plum. You stroke his fur for a few minutes before deciding what to do next.
