Does anyone have the guts to tell him what an “anti-abolitionist” is? Or that the heart symbolizes “bleeding Kansas” and not huggies and wuv?
This came to me in a dream after visiting a museum in Missouri and finding out what a “border ruffian” was. A nearly entirely forgotten group in American history dedicated to terrorizing Kansas before the American Civil War. They were Missourians hopping the border into Kansas to cause chaos, protesting Kansas’s decision to abolish slavery. They were da biggest meanie munstahs, but goddamn their fit went crazy.
Jedidiah, our fluffy, is reciting a speech made by US Senator David Rice Atchison, a leader of the Border Ruffians.
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The scene Changes to him suffering from all kinds of Wild West diseases, but mostly dead due to the bullet holes
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And then he runs into a gigantic Fluffalo named John Brown.
“Jahn Brawn ams cwertain yoo bad fwuffies an dis bad wand will be purged 'way but with BOO BOO JUICE!”
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Hot Take: John Brown was a pansy bitch who hid behind the mob to commit violence that only made the abolitionist movement look bad.
Cassius Marcellus Clay was the real shit because he was an abolitionist in very pro-slavery Kentucky, was an heir to a wealthy slave owner (freed them, and was immediately a pariah), then proceeded to start killing men in duels on the weekly to defend his beliefs.
Dude bullied Abraham fucking Lincoln into ratifying the Emancipation Proclamation way ahead of schedule, and was such a terror that entire mobs of pro-slavery goons waited until he was sick with typhus to even try destroying his printing press and the newspapers it published.
He also differentiated himself from goobers like Brown because his actions had massive impacts on the Civil War. Without his work with Russia, there’s a good chance that Britain or France would have backed the Confederacy in order to keep receiving cheap cotton and tobacco.
Seriously. Muhammad Ali was originally named Cassius Clay, and that famous badass of a boxer seems like a prancing dandy compared to the hardass that was his namesake.
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Fluffies being recruited into being pro-slavery is sadly, completely fucking plausible. Especially given their predisposition to colorist attitudes… 
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They and the rest of the secessionists should’ve been disenfranchised at the end of the War of Southern Aggression.
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Oh Cassius Clay was an important figure in the anti-slavery movement, and deserves more recognition for his efforts, but don’t clown on John Brown. He took his family to Kansas specifically to fight pro-slavery mercenaries that the slave-owning states sent there to try to influence the eventual decision on whether it would be a slave owning or ‘free’ state. He didn’t hide behind any crowd, he was straight up there cracking skulls with the rest of them.
But he was just a preacher, at the end of the day, and not one that had any political capital or money like Clay did. He also was extremely passionate ( nice way of saying ‘absolutely fanatical about sin’ ) and viewed any delay on ending the institution of slavery as being pro-slave. And in the end, he was willing to die for it so I’d say its rather silly to sit here on the internet and call a guy that got executed for trying to arm slaves a ‘clown’.
And as far as this fluffy border ruffian goes, John Brown would have been the one holding him at gunpoint not Cassius Clay so that’s who I went with.
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