i kinda missed bullshitting my way through the anatomy of fictional creatures, so blast from the past for me. maybe not for you idk
no idea what these monstrosities evolved to do or what they could possibly have been artificially engineered for. who would make this? why??? whatever, part of the fun is that it doesn’t actually matter lol
(depressing rambling)
i feel the rumbling of some very big changes, but i have to outrun a lit fuse if i’m gonna get out of this in one piece. i dont know how many of the specifics of the situation i should divulge, i don’t know what’s appropriate to share or put on someone else’s shoulders, i don’t know how to interact with non-toxic people anymore. nothing is healthy, i’m never not tired.
more irl family bullshit is happening because when is it not happening
we got the cat fixed, and i havent had much time to draw, edit, or post (though i have been writing) sometimes i can squeeze in maybe an hour of work on my game at 1am.
im having problems with my bank, with my medication, with my computer, with my phone, with everything including myself. executive dysfunction & abject terror keep me too paralyzed to make real choices and my only “safe” “adult” goes on a bender about every month. she doesn’t even want to go on them, alcoholism is just like that.
it feels like im losing the plot but it’s my actual life rather than a story im telling. im working with my therapist, but it’s slow going & i am pretty well LOST in the sauce.
what am i doing? am i complaining? what is this? i dont wanna worry anybody, but i also do??? idk that’s why im meeting my therapist twice a week now. i hope it helps.
((something less dire: i wrote out the plot of a shameless vent story, but i can’t decide if i want to write it out fully or make it a comic. or make it like a half-written illustrated documentary like The Fluffy Sink. decisions are hard. honestly it’s probably just too early to tell. i should dip my toes a little in each one before i commit.))
