“Here he is!” The day care worker set a grinning Clover on the counter in front of you. “He had a great time, didn’t you buddy?”
“Yus! Cwobah weawn tu pway swide, an cowwow, an-”
“That’s great!” You cut him off, handing over your credit card. “And none of the fluffies were mean?”
“Nu!” He said. “Aww fwuffy nice and fun!”
“There was a small accident with his sweater, it’s covered in paint. If you come by tomorrow it should be clean, we’ll throw it though our wash.”
“Nah, keep it.” You said, gathering him up. “Don’t think we need it anymore.”
“Alrighty!” She handed back your card. "You’re good to go then! Hope we see you again soon!”
Not likely, with the price this place demanded for one day of care. You walked back out to your truck, Clover settling into your arms. “Did you learn anything while you were there?”
“Yus, Cwobah weawn abou’ swide, an-”
“I mean about you.” You sat him on the passenger seat and started the car. “None of those fluffies hated you or called you a monster, right?”
“…Nu…”
“And so…” you lead.
“Buh wha’ if jus dose fwuffies guud?” He asked, staring out window. “Dey nu aww fwuffies.”
“Clover, this is hurting Lilac. It’s hurting you.”
“Cwobah… just nu wan babbehs ge’ huwties cuz ob Cwobah.”
“You’re giving them hurties, bud.”
Clover gasped. “Wha’?!”
“How do you think those babies will feel knowing their daddy thinks they’re monsters?”
“Cwobah nu tink dey munstahs!”
“But you call yourself one.” You turned onto the highway, setting your cruise control. “Those babies are going to look like you. If you call yourself a monster, they’re going to think you feel like that about them too.”
There was a long pause, some country song playing quietly over the radio. Then, finally, a soft sniffle.
“Cwobah am bad daddeh…”
“Not yet you’re not.” You set your hand on his side, keeping your eyes on the road. “The babies aren’t born yet, you still have time to be good.”
“Cwobah wan’ be guud daddeh.”
“And you will be. When we get home you should try to make up with Lilac.”
Clover made a noise like the air getting let out of a balloon. “Dat hawd.”
“Yeah. She’s pretty mad.”
There was a long stretch of road in silence, just the soft radio and the sound of your truck’s engine misfiring occasionally. You took your exit off the highway, turning past a small shopping center.
“Daddeh, Cwobah nee gu dewe!” He pointed a hoof out the window.
“What?” You passed it, having no time to turn.
“Cwobah nee gu dewe!!!” He stood on his hind legs, pressing his nose against the window.
“Where?!” You pulled onto the thin shoulder.
“Da shoppie wif da fwowwahs!” He tapped the window frantically.
“The… The florist? Why-… You want to get her flowers?”
“Yus!! Dat wha’ spechow fwends du!” He turned and lept onto your lap, putting his hooves on your chest. “Cwobah see hooman du it! See it on teebee!!”
“Yeah, alright.” You shoved him off your lap and put the truck in reverse. “Not a half bad idea. Don’t go nuts though, twenty dollars max. I spent way too much today."
“Yus!” He cheered, jumping back up to the window. “Get pwetty fwowwahs, den tawk tu Wiwac.”
“You ready?”
“Yuff!” Clover said, a single Lilac branch clutched in his teeth.
You opened the front door, calling into the living room. “We’re home!”
Your home was so loud these days, the TV constantly playing cartoons and other children’s media, and now Lilac and Dust Bunny playing with the foals in the pen you set up in the living room.
“Hewwo Daddeh!” Lilac peeked around the couch. “…Wha du Cwobah hab?”
He marched up to her, setting the spray of purple flowers at her feet. “Fwowahs fo spechow fwend. Cwobah am sowwy, be dummy spechow fwend.”
Lilac frowned, staring at the flowers, thinking. You shut the door as quietly as you could, trying not to interrupt their moment.
“Cwobah be meanie.” She said flatly, still not looking at him.
“Cwobah knu. Am dummy. Wet oddah meanies be mo’ ‘potant dan Wiwac an’ babbehs.” He stepped toward her. “Bu Cwobah wan be bettah. Nu wan huwt babbehs, nu wan huwt Wiwac.”
You and Dust Bunny held your breaths as Lilac kept her eyes on the flowers.
“… Wiwac nu fo’gib? Nu hab tu, Cwobah gu sweep in bawn, nu wan soon mummah to sweep ou dewe-” He was cut off by Lilac leaping over the flowers and tackling him, sobbing into his fluff.
“Wiwac fo’gib! Wiwac wub!” The pair sobbed into each other as you carefully stepped over them.
“Hey Dust Bunny, foals settling in okay?”
“Yus!” She laid on the black plush bed you got for Lilac, watching them play. “Babbehs nebah hab su much woom befow!”
“Wait until they see the pasture.” You looked out the window, where the rest of your herd played. “When they’re a little older we’ll move you all out there with the rest of the herd.”
“Dust suu ‘cited to meet dem!”
One of the foals, a lavender unicorn with a khaki mane, put his hooves up on the edge of the plastic pen. “Who am nyu fwuffy?”
Lilac untangled herself, pulling Clover into the living room. “Dis am spechow fwend! Am Cwobah!!”
The foals gathered against the pen wall, shouting their hellos to Clover. He smiled nervously.
“You play nice.” You said. “I’m gonna go deal with Sunshine.”
“Who am Sunshine?” Dust asked.
You looked to Lilac to explain.
“He am…nu su nice fwuffy. Caww himself smawty.” Lilac said.
Dust gasped. “Dat am bad! Nu wan smawty meanie!” Her foals chimed in with blown raspberries and puffed cheeks.
“I think I’ve gotten through to him that it’s bad. He won’t be a problem.” You left the fluffies to their chattering and opened your bedroom door. “Sunshine?”
You had left him curled on the bed, sleeping off the last of his high but now he was nowhere to be seen. You kneeled down, looking under the bed and seeing a golden tail peeking out behind a shoebox. “Hey bud, you okay?”
“…nu wan… nu wan gu foebah sweepies…”
Ah, it worked a little too well. Damnit, that guy from the abuser forum wasn’t fucking around with that audio. You had thought about going back to thank him, you remembered his username being Mantis or something? Anyway, you hoped to never see that place again. Not somewhere where good people congregated.
“It’s okay. It’s safe now, I promise.” You scooted the shoebox aside, Sunshine squeaked and hid under his hooves. “You’re okay, you’re not going to die.”
“Am smawty… smawty gu foebah sweepies… nu wan… nu wan…”
You sighed. “You don’t have to be a smarty, you know.”
He peeked out from his hooves. “Wha’…?”
“Yeah, being a smarty is something you choose to do.”
“Buh…. Am smawty.”
You sighed. “No. You aren’t. You’re Sunshine, a very good -if a little impulsive- pegasus in my herd. You’re a good fluffy, and I know you want to be one.”
“Buh smawty am smawty! Nu am jus’ fwuffy!”
“A smarty isn’t a… it’s not a real thing.”
“Wha’??”
“Ugh… okay, your old smarty just… decided to be one one day. It’s not a… inherent part of life. Any fluffy could declare themselves smarty at any time. Hell, I could. Just because other fluffies listen to them doesn’t mean they have any supernatural powers or anything.”
“Buh… buh… Am-”
“Do you feel any different than you did before? Did calling yourself smarty make anyone listen to you? Respect you? Did it get you what you want?”
Sunshine stared down at his hooves, wide eyed. “…nu.” He turned to you with a shocked expression. “Nu am smawty?”
“You are the master of your own tiny horse destiny my man.”
“…destiny?”
You bonked your head against the floor. In all this time you’d still never gotten the hang of dumbing down your language. “You decide whether or not to be a smarty.”
“Den… den…” Sunshine thought for a moment. “Den nu wan.”
“Great! Can you come out from under there now? My neck hurts.”
He eyed the sliver of light around the edge of the bed. “…nu foebah sweepies?”
“No. Nothing bad is gonna happen.” You heaved yourself off the floor, your joints popping with a sound not dissimilar to an engine backfiring.
Sunshine stuck a hoof out from under the bed, carefully, and waved it around for a moment as if to trigger any hidden traps. When no demons smote him for his arrogance, he pulled himself out and looked up at you with his tail between his legs.
“Let’s get you back out to the barn.” You picked him up, your back resuming its audible complaints.