A few weeks ago made a post about how cheetahs in zoos have golden retriever companions and how I thought that Fluffies would also make good companions and this is the result. I finally got off my ass and wrote a story.
The foal woke up in a strange place.
He didn’t know what was going on. The last thing he remembered was getting taken away from his mummah at the shelter and brought to a big wide open place with lots of trees and lots of rocks. There was scary noises in the distance all around him which made him want to curl up into a ball and hide. This wasn’t right. Where was his new housie? And the skettis and the toysies? Mummah said he would be going to a nice warm place and he would be loved by her new mummah and daddah. So why was he outside?
The thud of loud boots drew his attention away from the scary noises. He could see a human approaching him, carrying another big sky ball coloured Fluffy in his arms. That Fluffy must not have gotten a bath in a long time. It was covered in bits of dirt coating it’s entire body. Like little black spots. The closer the human got, the more the fluffy came into focus and the more obvious it because that… thing wasn’t a Fluffy.
Yes, it was very fluffy adjective wise, but it didn’t have hooves. It had sharp, pointy claws and equally pointy teeth. It’s long spotty tail twitched as the human knelt down to him, bringing the terrifying beast closer.
“SCREEEE!!! MUNSTAH! MUNSTAH!” the foal screamed, tripping over himself as he tried to get away.
Shockingly, the human didn’t unleash the monster to give him forever sleepies like he was expecting…
“Hold on there, sport. There’s nothing to be scared of.” The human said as gently as possible. If the foal could read, he would have noticed the words “San Diego Zoo” printed on his uniform.
He held the munstah closer and the foal backed away even more.
“This is Blur, she’s going to be your new little sissy. She’s only a little chirpy baby and she’s very anxious so she needs a friend to look after her and keep her safe and happy.” the zookeeper explained.
Was this guy stupid? The foal took one look at the munstah and back at the Zookeeper in disbelief. “Buh… Munstah nu be sissy! Munstah nu chiwpy babbeh!”
To the foals massive shock, the munstah in his arms let out the tiniest, most adorable chirp he had ever heard in his life. The foal was reeling in shock. Were his hear places broken? Munstahs couldn’t chirp, they made scary growling and roaring noises! Mummah said so! So why???
“I know it’s hard to believe, sport, but Fluffies can be friends with munstahs. We picked you from the shelter because you looked like you’d be a good Fluffy Buddy for Blur. I mean, look at you, you’re yellow and have spots too.”
The foal looked at himself in the reflection of a puddle. It was true…the other foals at the shelter hated his spots. They called him poopie so many times and it have him biggest heart hurties. His mummah always told him that his spots made him special. Not bestest babbeh special, that honour went to his big brother who had pretty blue stars on HIS fluff, but good enough.
So now this human was telling him he’d be a good Fluffy Buddy? What did that mean?
As he grew older, being a Fluffy Buddy became his entire life. His new name was Bullet, selected by a public poll on the internet, narrowly beating out the name Fluffy McFluffFace. He met lots of other Fluffies who were Fluffy Buddies too! He learned more and more about his new housie and what his new role was. He was at San Diego Zoo. It was a place where humans kept animals from all over the world for people to come look at.
The zoo had discovered that Fluffies made great companions for their animals and great ambassadors and mascots for their children’s educational programs. Bullet was newly assigned as a Fluffy Buddy for a newborn cheetah cub. It was all very new and exciting for him, the prospect of befriending a munstah. It was very scary at first, right up until he realised that the other Fluffies took pride in being Fluffy Buddies!
Blur’s handler had put him through rigourous training to learn how to be the best Fluffy Buddy he could possibly be. At first he was motivated purely by skettis. Mr Zookeeper, or as he later came to know him as “Kyle” gave him sketti as a reward for completing specific tasks. Fluffies couldn’t read, so he studied by sitting in a room for an hour, listening to audio recordings of instructions he had to memorise. Bullet HATED the “talkie room”. It was SOOOOO boring, sitting there doing nothing for an hour. He wasn’t allowed to play, not that there was anything to play with. He wasn’t allowed to take a nap either.
After an hour in the talkie room, he was quizzed on the instructions and he had to recite them from memory. It was a miserable experience, but the more answers he got right, the more sketti he got! It wasn’t too bad if he thought about it that way. And it wasn’t just for him either. The more he learned, the better at being a Buddy he got. He really really liked Blur so he wanted to be the bestest Fluffy Buddy he could be.
The more he interacted with Blur, the more he came to see her as a true little sissy. By the time she was fully grown they were as thick as thieves.
He knew all her habits and her daily routine off by heart. He knew what games she loved to play, what her favourite sleeping spot was, that if he scratched her behind her ear she’d make a funny purring sound. He knew what to do if she was showing any signs of sickness, which was to Kyle immediately. The zookeepers nearly had a collective heart attack whenever she started to lick him, assuming the poor bastard was about to become her next snack. But eventually it became clear it was just her way of showing affection to him. Her favourite game in the world was Tag. Of course, being a cheetah, she was massively overqualified for the game. She would run for a bit, stop, turn around and wait for Bullet to catch up to her. Which often took about a minute of huffing and hobbling and panting.
As far as Blur was aware, they really were siblings. Bullet was just a REALLY weird looking cheetah from her perspective.
After a long day, Bullet would be taken out of the enclosure for bed time and be would have a chance to interact with his fellow Fluffy zoo staff and socialise with them. His best Fluffy friend was a pegasus mare called Swift. She was a Fluffy Ambassador. Her job was to walk around the zoo on a leash with a tour guide, visit different enclosures and recite facts about different animals. The guests absolutely loved it, especially the kids. Hearing an adorable pink pony telling them about animals was like cocaine to them. She got to wear a vest labelling her as a Fluffy Ambassador to distinguish her from any pet Fluffy or feral Fluffy who might have wandered in.
Whenever Swift and her handler stopped by Blur’s enclosure, he often stopped what he was doing just to listen to her.
“Cheetahs can wun weawwy weawwy fast! Dey hab non-wetwactabwe cwaws to hewp them accewewate, wike those spikes dat awe on spowt shoes. Swift think dat fwapping wingies hewp Swift wun fast too, but Dave says dat not how it wowks.” she said, giving the sourest face possible to her handler Dave. The crowd chucked. She had her own script she had to memorise from her own talkie room, but she was allowed to improvise and add her own spin to it as long as it entertained guests.
One particular dinner time, Swift entered the safe room and took her usual spot next to Bullet.
“Hi Buwwet. Buwwet hab good day?” Swift asked as she tucked into her sketti.
“Buwwet hab gweat day. Pwayed baww with Bwuw. Nowmaw day” Bullet responded, shrugging his shoulders. “Bwuw nummed a biwdie dat fwew in, so Buwwet had to teww Kywe.”
“Poow biwdie. Dave had to stawp some mowon fwom thwowing twashies into the ottew wivew.” Swift scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Did you heaw the wumouws?”
Bullet stopped mid-chew “Nu?”
Swift paused, looking left and right to make sure nobody was listening in. “Swift heaw that a fewaw Smawty is twying to bweak into the encwosuwes.”
Bullet’s jaw dropped. “That’s tewwibwe!”
“Swift nu wike Smawties. They su mean and they make Fwuffies wook bad. They make hoomins hate us.” Swift whined, looking downcast. “Swift just twying to do Swift’s job…”
Bullet left that dinner time feeling uneasy. He heard so many stories about Smarties over the years. How they were mean and cruel and did anything to get what they wanted, including hurting other Fluffies and killing foals. Bullet’s mind immediately went to Blur. What if some Smarty tried to break in and hurt HER? She wouldn’t stand a chance! After all, Smarties were really good at hurting Fluffies! Bullet puffed his chest up. He didn’t want any Fluffy to hurt his big little sissy! Of course he’d be a brave Fluffy and protect his big little sissy.
The next day, his worst fear came true. It started like any other day. Bullet brought Blur’s favourite ball to her. The cheetah was busy lazing on her favourite rock, having just been fed breakfast.
“Bwuw wan pway baww?” Bullet asked hopefully.
“Mrrrrrrreeeow.” Blur responded, barely looking at him. She didn’t really feel like playing with her brother right now. All she wanted to do was take a nap. Nonchalantly, she swatted the ball back at him.
Bullet’s face fell. Well, darn. But that was okay, he knew from his training not to bother her too much. If she said no, that was the end of it. Oh well, there was plenty of other things he could do. Bullet decided on patrolling the perimeter of the enclosure. Sometimes guests would toss their trash right over the fence. Bullet went straight to his work station and got out his fluffy sized wheelie trash can to go and pick up any unwanted garbage.
Halfway along his travels, his eyes fell on something strange. There was a small hole in the enclosure. Small enough for a Fluffy to fit through. Oh no! He’d have to tell Kyle right away! It wasn’t safe for Blur! It wasn’t safe for any guest either! He had heard of a cautionary tale from the zookeepers. How a human talkie baby fell onto a gorilla enclosure and in order to save the talkie baby, the zookeepers had to give the gorilla forever sleepies. He didn’t want a human talkie baby to go into Blur’s enclosure because that would mean that his sissy would get forever sleepies!
Bullet was about to make a run for the emergency button when all of a sudden, he was kicked hard in the side of the face. Dazed and confused, Bullet looked up and saw a Fluffy glaring down at him.
“Dis is Smawty Wand nao, dummeh! Gu away!” the smarty growled.
Adrenaline kicked in and Bullet’s heart started racing. Oh no! This was really really bad! The Smarty was HERE! He was too far from the emergency button. He had to deal with this here and now. Bullet rolled onto his feet and stood up straight.
He didn’t know how to fight. Only bad Fluffies fought and he was too busy being a responsible Fluffy staff member to do something as silly as fighting. Remembering his training, he tried to handle this with civility. “This am sissy’s encwosuwe. It am too dangewous for guests. Onwy Buddy Fwuffies and twained handwews am awwowed in hewe.”
Unsurprisingly that didn’t go well. Bullet found himself on the recieving end of another knuckle sandwich. His nose was leaking boo boo juice.
“Dummeh ugwy Fwuffie, Smawty nu cawe about ugwy sissy! Smawty am gonna gib dummeh sissy wowstest speciaw huggies to teach dummeh fwuffy a wesson!” the smarty declared, stubbornly pressing onward.
Now Bullet was really panicking. That smarty was going to do something terrible to Blur! The thought of Blur curled up on the floor, crying out after being hurt by the bad special huggies made his blood turn to ice. It was the biggest heart hurties of all. What if she was hurt so bad that the zookeepers would have to give her forever sleepies?? Bullet was desperate. He knew that fighting was against the rules and would get him hurt, but he would accept his punishment later. His sister’s life depended on it.
Bullet charged at the Smarty, but having been born and raised in the wild, the Smarty was a hardened fighter. Too many years of showing other Fluffies who was boss made him practically invincible by fluffy standards. It was like an office worker going against a pro boxer. The Smarty beat him up mercilessly, kicking and biting him all over.Bullet cried out at the top of his lungs from the pain.
At the other end of the enclosure, Blur stirred. Blur was a cheetah. She spent her whole life growing up with her big brother Bullet. As they grew older, it became obvious that there was something weird about Bullet. He stopped growing. He was just slightly taller than a cub at this point. He didn’t have claws or teeth, his tail was really short. He didn’t eat the same things as her. He liked snacking on the plants in the enclosure. And he wasn’t fast at all! But he had yellow fur and spots like she did. So of course be was a cheetah, like she was. What else could he be? She didn’t love him any less just because he was a little different from her.
Bullet wanted to play ball with her that morning and she had brushed it off. She just didn’t feel like it then. Blur yawned and stood up from her rock. She felt like playing ball now. Why not. It wasn’t like she had anything else to do. There were none of those weird monkeys staring at her right now. At that moment a strange smell hit her nose. She knew what Bullet smelled like, and that definitely wasn’t him. Curious, she went to investigate.
As she got closer, the scent of blood hit her nose. Her senses were telling her that something was very very wrong. Up ahead she could hear Bullet crying out in pain and distress. There was a strange creature invading her territory and attacking her brother! The creature abandoned him, leaving him bleeding on the ground. A furious growl erupted from her throat.
The Smarty froze in place, finally noticing that he had company. He stared at the cheetah in wide eyed terror, his bowels evacuating from fear.
“Muh… MUNSTAH!!!” the Smarty screamed, turning on his heels and running for his life.
Blur closed the distance in seconds. She sprang on the Smarty, her jaws snapping shut around his throat. As Bullet looked on in horror, one of Swift’s cheetah facts echoed in his head.
“Cheetahs jaws nu as stwong as a wion or a weopawd’s. Wions kiww theiw pwey by cwushing theiw wind pipe in one bite, but cheetahs hab to suffocate their pwey instead.”
It took several minutes for the Smarty to finally suffocate. Satisfied, Blur immediately started tucking into her meal, ripping his limbs off and disemboweling him. Bullet was scared shitless. Literally. He knew Blur was a carnivore, but watching her tear apart and consume a fellow Fluffy was a whole new level of nope. Blur got up from her impromptu second breakfast and approached him, and he thought his life was over.
Blur dropped one of the Smarty’s legs at his feet. Then licked him. Blur was so happy that her big brother was okay. She was so proud of herself. She killed prey all by herself! Now that she knew her brother was okay, she wanted to share her kill with him. After all it was only fair. She was completely oblivious to the fact that her beloved big brother was currently praying to the Sketti Gods that she wouldn’t eat him too.
Bullet laughed nervously. He knew that cannibalising another Fluffy would probably get him fired. Or worse. But right now he was too terrified of what Blur would do to him if he didn’t accept her present. Hesitantly, he took a bite out of the leg. It tasted awful. His instincts were screaming at him that this was a bad thing. He was certain he would be making worstest sickies later.
The Zoo staff caught wind of the incident at the end of the day. Bullet had to give his eyewitness statement to Kyle, telling him everything from the hole in the fence, to the attack, to the threats the Smarty made about Blur. What he DIDN’T mention was the cannibalism. Kyle didn’t need to know about that. Swift didn’t either.
Now that Blur had developed a taste for Fluffy, Bullet had been separated from her for days until it was determined it was safe for him to be back in the enclosure. When he was allowed back, the cheetah was heavily monitored. Blur didn’t see what all the fuss was about. Like hell she was going to eat her brother. He was a cheetah. She wouldn’t eat a fellow cheetah.
Blur missed him terribly when her brother was taken away to the vet. The day he came back, Blur raced towards him, practically jumping for joy. It took a while for things to go back to normal between them, but eventually Bullet got comfortable in her presence again. He considered himself to be a really lucky Fluffy.
Not every Fluffy has a munstah for a little sissy.
Adorable siblings~