Chia Fluffies: The Growing New Craze
(I only learned there were, in fact, already a sort of plant fluffy when I started putting tags, but I hope my idea for Chia fluffies is unique enough to stand out. If not, enjoy my idea anyway)
In the corporate world, you either adapt or you die.
Chia pets had once been all the rage, but things change, and they became nothing but a last minute grocery store seen on tv section gift that ends up sitting in a closet. Oh sure, some people still really like them, and the company lived as long as it did on those two types of customers, but the days of expansion were long gone.
That was when Has-bio stepped in as their would be savior. If the company would take a 20% share for the rights to use Chia pets and all appropriate marketing rights for a new idea they wanted to look into, Has-bio would take their 80% share and do all the work. They were in no position to negotiate, and accepted immediately. That was where this all began.
Chia Fluffies.
While their size tracks normally with fluffies, they are actually quite a bit heavier than normal. They tend to grow a bit rounder, and their hoofs are wider with slightly stronger legs to help with the increased weight. While this should help them keep up with other fluffies, they tend to be slower and waddle more, along with being less dexterous (if you can consider any fluffy dexterous in the first place). However, none of this addresses the main difference, and appeal, of Chia Fluffies.
Much like a tuxedo cat, they have two different parts to their coat. Their underbelly, after considerable, painful amount of trial and error, needs to remain like that of a normal fluff for a multitude of reasons. Their underbelly, neck, face, lower legs, mane, and tail are all one solid color normal fluffy fluff. This is sold as good for marketing as it lets them be more visually appealing then just their special coat. Really, itâs because in practice fluffies just end up killing any plantlife in these areas through normal living, and it was found to make life quite hard for them, which means they whined too much.
Chia Fluff. Chia Fluffies have been genetically modified to grow chia sprouts instead of their main coat of fluff. They grow it in a thick coat, covering the top of their head, the back of their neck, all over their backs, which is where it is thickest, their upper legs, and their sides until just before the lower belly region. These walking sprout gardens are a perfect utility fluffy, offering not only companionship, but a self-caring supply of sprouts, not needing any tending to to grow big and healthy.
The Chia Fluff can feel its sprouts much like a fluffy does its fluff, and wonât feel pain so long as they are removed cleanly with something sharp and cut. However, plucking them is even worse than having fluff pulled out, and ripping them out is even worse. It takes considerable time for them to regrow when pulled, but chia sprouts will regrow within a week if the fluffy gets enough nutrients and especially water. To regrow pulled chia sprouts, it made be required to feed chia seeds to a chia fluffy.
While it is against policy, Chia Fluffies have been found to be able to grow other plants on their âchia fluffâ, notable success include wheat grass (though this can easily get too long), clover, and sprouts of many different sorts from carrot sprouts to pea sprouts, and even small herbs. Anything considered a Microgreen seems to grow best, and these things seem to have no consequences to the Chia Fluffy. A mixed diet can create one with an extremely diverse plant coat. List of acceptable seeds included in all Chia Fluff informational pamphlets.
CAUTION: AVOID OTHER SEEDS
Notable Disaster Cases
Nitrogen Needy Leafy Greens: Chia Fluffies were tested with multiple different leafy green vegetables that require large amounts of Nitrogen. Growth was exceptionally good, leaving to extremely large harvests of leafy greens such as Kale and Spinach. However, because Chia Fluff seems to randomly decide where to grow these plants, they immediately caused great discomfort to Chia Fluffies once they grew large enough to start growing leaves. If pruned to only grow on the back there is some hope for this (some want to call this, âbulbasauringâ. I do not support this, though there is the possibility of leaning into this idea in future marketing) however, if left alone this leads only to complications. This is a Failure.
Notable Exception: We keep carefully pruned ones to grow these greens for us, as they do an extremely good job of growing them on their backs. The rest of their diets returned to Chia seeds and this filled out the rest of their chia fluff. Those that complain too much are pillowed and turned into feeding planter of healthy greens for other subjects and staff. Consideration for Chia Fluffy Planter boxes spawned from this partial failure.
Strawberries: Chia Fluffy ate a strawberry. While the seeds of a modern strawberry arenât very effective at becoming a new plant, there are so many that two seeds managed to take hold. However, Strawberry plants did not only refuse to grow strawberries due to excessive nitrogen, this accelerated the growth of their greens. Leaves became bigger Fluffyâs head, stems great too long, and chasers (how strawberry plants self-replicate) quickly overcame the entire body of the Chia Fluffy with more Strawberry Plants. Fluffy constantly got tangled in the stems and chasers of his own plants, tripped often, and complained of being too heavy. Subject waddled more than often. This is a failure.
Notable Exception: Other Fluffies found these leaves extremely delicious, as plant grazers tend to also enjoy these leaves. Subject Strawberry was pillowed and kept as a feeding planter. Chasers have spread out and have spawned multiple full strawberry plants.
Butternut Squash: Chia Fluffy ate seeds sprinkled with sugar. Seeds took extremely well, growing in long vines that trailed around behind Chia Fluffy. Excessive Nitrogen also led to improved leaf growth and longer than usual vines, which quickly repeated the entanglement issue of Strawberry experiment. When Squash began to grow, Chia Fluffy quickly became too bogged down by the weight to walk. Fluffy complained of hating his plants. This is a failure. Subject terminated and planted in garden to allow squash to continue growing normally.
Onions: Chia Fluffy ate onion seeds. Initial growth stage was promising, greenery was strong and looked healthy. However, while expected to only grow Onion Greens (a delicious vegetable in itself), researchers were horrified to learn that onions did not care that Chia Fluff is not actually made of dirt. Onions began to grow beneath the Chia fluffyâs flesh, causing massive lumps like cancerous tumors throughout the Chia Fluffâs body. Chia Fluffy went from upbeat and happy to hating its âno nice wumps.â Pain increased dramatically as onions grew. Fluffy became despondent with pain and entered a âwan dieâ loop. To keep researchersâ moral up, Onion Fluffy was muted and pillowed to continue observations.
Onions were extracted with small incisions to allow removal from flesh. Reportedly, removal was only a big harder than picking the real things, Chia Fluff flesh is much easier to pull from. Initial testing found no issues with the way these onions grew, and in fact they all grew on the larger end. Taste tests report they are delicious onions. Onions are nutrient greedy plants, and took their tole on Onion Chia Fluffâs body. Nutrient injections ensured recovery. Fed more onion seeds once flesh was healed. Second harvest repeated previous results. This is a failure.
However, Onion Chia Fluff along with previous Nitrogen needy leafy greens Fluffies offer potential for Chia Fluff Garden Boxes. Onion Chia Fluff continues testing for alternative uses.
Chia Fluffy Studies in Real Life Scenarios
The Happy Chia Fluffy (Hugbox)
Chia Fluffy Subject: Kale
Kale Info: Kale is a 1 year old Chia Fluff kept on a strict diet. She is kept only Chia Sprouted and her other fluff is a bright blue.
Though named not very creatively, Kale was given to a loving home. Instructed on the best practices of caring for a Chia Fluff, Kaleâs owner ensures proper nutrients and living environment for the Chia Fluffy. Kale has an exceptionally thick and healthy coat of chia sprouts, has access to plenty of windows with good sunlight, and plenty of water to keep hydrated.
Kale sunbathed happily by the window, loving the warm sun against her plant fluff. She loved her nice warm housie. Outside was so cold looking with all the white cold wawa! She wanted to go outside, but her mummah said her pretty plant fluff would die! She didnât want that! She loved her plant fluff! So she didnât ask again. Mummah was smart and knew what to do.
âKale~ Breakfast time!â Her mummah called.
Kale gasped and jumped up, moving carefully down her little stairway to the window and then waddling as fast as she could to the kitchen. âKawe su hungwy! Tank yu!â She told her mummah, before digging into her special green kibble. Kale loved her nummies. They were soft and chewy, and tasted so yummy! She did love special sketties more, but she got those ever Friday, so she never asked for moreâŚunless mummah was having sketties for herself, then she couldnât help herself!
Breakfast eaten up, she drank her wawa. She always got so thirsty at breakfast, and she had to get wawa a lot. But she loved drinking wawa, it made all of her feel so nice!
She waddled quite a bit heavier, saturated with water for her chia coat, and fell onto her belly in the sunlight, not even bothering to get up to the window this time. She sighed happily, âSo fuww.â
âKale, Iâm going to take some chia fluff, okay?â her mummah asked, walking over with a little plate and a tiny pair of scissors.
âOtay mummah, Kawe no mind.â She just happily sat there in the sun, barely feeling it as her mummah snipped off some section of her special fluff, before starting to pet her. She giggled happily, and pushed into her loving touch. âWub mummah~â
The Useful Chia Fluff (Hugbox)
Chia Fluffy Subject: Bobby
Bobby Info: Bobby is a 1 year old Chia Fluffy that has been fed dandelion seeds by an industrious farmer. Because of this, he grows Dandelion greens (carefully pruned by his farmer owner to make manageable) and is otherwise growing clover and chia on the rest of his body. His other fluff is a deep orange, which the farmer notes he likes because it helps to spot him in the fields.
Bobby waddled over to his owner. He was a bit leaner than the average Chia Fluff because he had to do a lot of walking and even a bunch of running! Though, Bobby ran in a quick waddle, but still.
âWat is it, Mistah Fawma?â
âWe need to bring in the flock for the night. Get to your post, Bobby.â
âYis! Bobby get weady!â He waddled off to his post, standing tall as he did.
The farmer watched on as Bobby waddled away, and went off to get ready to do his own part. He whistled, and his herding dog Jakey came running obediently to his side. âAlright boy, go get the sheep. Go get em!â Jakey excitedly barked and started sprinting off into the field, beginning his favorite job of herding the sheep in the right direction.
Bobby got into position. He walked through his little door, got over to just outside the entrance of their pen, and started walking nice and slow, shaking his body around to really make sure he was noticed. Mister Farmer said the sheepies loved his special big leaf fluff the most, something called âdandelion greensâ, like the really pretty and taste pretty flower nummies! Sheepies loved them most of all the taste leafy nummies, so they wanted to try and num Bobbyâs fluff.
The sheep, being herded over in his direction, started to take notice. Their walking became quick as they went from herded to hungry to get a taste of their favorite greens, and that was Bobbyâs sign to run!
Bobby wasnât very quick. He thought he was, but as a Chia Fluff, he was still a little slower than a normal fluffy, even with practice. He waddled as fast as he could, panting halfway through the pen. He could hear their little bells coming, their bahhs of hunger. Oh no, they might get him this time!
He waddled with all his might, but a quarter of the pen away, the lead sheep began to catch up. He gasped and cried, âNu! Nu num pwant fwuff!â He kept waddling as fast as he could, but the lead two sheep started getting bites of his dandelion greens. When the leaf broke he just felt the little pull, but when they pulled it out he got a little owwie from it. âNu! Nu wan be nummed!â He cried louder, and kept waddling as fast as his fat little body could go.
They got a good few more bites on him before he managed to run through his opening, too small for sheep to get through. He collapsed and whined, his back having little owwies from their pulling out some of his pretty leaf fluff. But, he was mostly fine, not getting swarmed like he used to in the past.
He turned his head to watch. The sheep at his opening bleated and looked at him annoyed and hungry. âHah! Stupih Sheepies! Nu num Bobby!â
Past them, the big doggy friend Jakey finished getting the other sheepies inside their pen, and Mister Farmer closed their pen. He pet doggy friend, gave him a treat, then walked over to see Bobby. Bobby couldnât stand up, he was too tired, but he looked up at Mister Farmer excited all the same.
âHowâd it go, Bobby?â
âWen gud! Sheepies num a wittwe bit, but onwy huwt a wittwe. Dey try to num lots again.â
âYep, I told you. They love those dandelion greens more than anything.â Mister Farmer dug in his pocket and pulled out a treat, âGood boy. Here you go.â He tossed the delicious sketti flavoured treat onto the grass in front of Bobby, and Bobby said a quick, âFank Yu Misah Fawma!â before numming it up.
âMhm. Good work. When youâre rested up, go drink plenty of water, okay?â
âOtay Mistah Fawma! Bobby am thiwsty afta su much wunnin!â
Mister Farmer left him be, and Bobby relaxed happily. Nothing like a yummy treat for a good job done for Mister Farmer.
The Wild Chia Fluffy (Sadbox)
Chia Fluffy Subject: Kiwi
Kiwi Info: Kiwi is a 5 month old Chia Fluff. Kiwi has, until leaving captivity, been kept Chia sprout only.To allow for relevant data, Kiwi was one of several Chia Fluffies presented with a place they could escape from and took it. Kiwi âescapedâ our research facility and spent some time wandering the local area. With a full plant coat, Chia fluffies are much better at blending in than other fluffies, however, still having a colorful bit of fluff, it isnât perfect. Kiwi, however, is still green even with her fluff, being a lime green.
After a week, we observed Kiwi meeting a small herd of ferals.
âGasp! Munstah bushy! Wun!â One fluffy mare shouted, starting to run when the napping Kiwi moved.
Kiwi got up and blinked, looking confused. âWha? Nu am Munstah, am fwuffy!â
The mare hid behind a tuffi, but another fluffy walked over. âYu is fwuffy?â
âYis! Am speshul fwuffy!â
âHow is speshul? And why yu covewed in gwassies?â he demanded. He seemed to be the groupâs lead smarty, but not overly rude.
âNu am covewed! Is me gwassies! Is Kiwi speshul fwuff!â
âHuh?â
âLookies!â she moved around, the sprouts moving along with her, âAm pwant fwuffy! Hab pwetty gwassies fow fwuff!â
The smarty seemed to consider this, before coming closer and lifting a hoof to feel her chia fluff. âWowâŚis pwant fwuff!â
âYis!â
He considered, and got a big grin on his face, âYu wan join hewd? Yu is pwetty mawe. Smawty likes hab wots of pwetty mawes in hewd.â
Kiwi gasped, âHewd?! Yu be new fwiends?!â
âYis.â
âYis! Kiwi wan be in hewd!â
âGud.â
Observation continued without incident for two weeks. Kiwi was welcomed in with open arms, but it was too good to be true. Food stayed mostly consistent at first, but 10 days in they started not to find enough, and by the end of her second week, Kiwi was being viewed less as a âpretty mareâ and more of a possible food source.
âOwwies!â Kiwi pulled away suddenly, only to see Smarty chewing something. âWhy huwt Kiwi?!â
âMmâŚyu pwant fwuff is nummies!â he said with his mouth full, chewing more then swallowing. âWittwe spicy nummie, but tasty nummies!â
She gasped, âYu num Kiwi speshul fwuff?! Nu wike!â
âHewd need nummies. Kiwi is nummies. Nu wuv hewd?â
âB-buâŚKiwi du wuv huwd buâŚnu want yu num speshul fwuffâŚâ
âYu fwuff gwow back if we num?â
âUmâŚy-yisâŚâ
âThen wet hewd num. Make yu bestest fwuffy fwiend of whowe hewd.â Smarty insisted.
Kiwi really considered that, and the looks of all her hungry friends around her made her cower in on herself. She didnât want to be selfish butâŚthey did need nummiesâŚ
ââŚo-otay, bu pwease be caweful. It huwties if yu num too hawd.â
âPwomise.â
Kiwiâs cries as they devoured her entire coat in hunger were ignored. She was just pushed down and nummed. Fluffy teeth are, unluckily for Kiwi, too blunt to cut the sprouts with any sort of ease, and so they usually end up pulling out the entire sprout, if not pulling on it anyway until they break. She hu-huued and sobbed, but they ate her entire coat.
She was labeled as ânummie fwuffyâ, and when in time her coat regrew with clover and grass thanks to her diet of managing to eat such things, plus some chia again since the body seems to hold onto seeds in some level of reserve, she was quickly nummed again.
4 months into observation, Kiwi has now had 3 litters of fluffies, and roughly half of her offspring still end up as Chia fluffies. Careful observation is being kept in case we decide to cull these wild born Chia fluffies, but already they are being labelled as ânummy babbehsâ, and at least one has been eaten.
Kiwi laid down and whined as Smarty and other members of the herd nummed at her speshul fwuff. âP-pwease nu num meâŚâ
âQuiet! Yu is nummy mawe! Nu is tawky mawe!â Her âspecial friendâ smarty ordered, and she cowered and just accepted as they nummed away her coat of delicious clover. Once they were done, the Smarty went poopies right in front of her. âOtay, num poopies!â
âNuuu! Nu taste pwetty!â
âNum poopies, stupih dummeh nummy fwuffy!â He stomped, and she cowered before slowly, obediently doing so.
Kiwiâs life continues as a, ânummy fwuffyâ, making more of them for the herd and generally being regarded well but beneath other fluffies. Above only poopie fluffies and munstah fluffies.
It was only through observation that we learned that, because of how we changed the Chia Fluff digestion system, eating the poop of other fluffies actually does help with better plant growth.
Chia fluffies use up all of the nutrients that usually makes Fluffy poop so desirable as a fertilizer agent, so their own poop is completely devoid of anything useful, just condensed that is often an ashy grey and scentless. Scaredy and sorry poopies, unfortunately, smell even worse than normal due to all the concentrated nutrients in their systems. All of this leads to, unintentionally, the perfect poopie eating fluffies, something ferals learned before we did, though they mostly just think of it as being good food for Chia Fluffs, not fertilizer like it is.
The Abuserâs Chia Fluffy (Abusebox)
Chia Fluffy Subject: Dirt
Dirt Info: Dirt is a 1 year old Chia Fluff. He was kept a Chia only Fluff until adoption by a known abuser. There was some complaint about doing this intentionally, but the idea is no one can stress test a fluffy like an abuser can. The only agreement that was made was Dirt (the abuserâs choice of name) was not allowed to die intentionally, or we would get no data out of it. Dirtâs fluff color is brown, and while this works well for a Chia Fluff visually, is still considered ugly by other fluffies.
Dirt hurt. He had so many pretty planties that made up his special fluff, but they were too much! They got under his hoofs, they tangled up his legs, and they got so heavy! They dragged on everything and he couldnât even lay down right because of them.
âDirt! Câmere boy! I got some sketties for you!â his daddeh called.
âSketties?!â He was so excited! Heâd only ever had sketties once since Daddeh took him home. ButâŚoh no, he needed to hurry! He forced himself up onto his leggies, then whined at the weight as he started to waddle forward. It was slow, so slow. He had so many plants in his special fluff, huge vines, big planties, all sticking out of him and slowing him down. He ended up tripping on the stupid vine coming out of his head a few steps in. âOof!â
âOh man, these sketties smell pretty amazingâŚI might have to have a bite myself!â
No! When Daddeh took a bite of sketties, he always wanted more! He couldnât blame daddeh either, Daddehâs sketties were the bestest nummie ever! He forced himself back up, kicked the vine out of the way, and began to waddle again. âA-am commin!â he huffed, already overexerted. He made it few more feet, tripped, got back up, and repeated this a few times just getting halfway there.
âWow, these are really yummy SkettiesâŚjust gonna take one more bite, okay?â
âO-otay! Just pwease weave Diwt some!â
âIâll try!â
He had to go faster! Stupid stupid planties! âWhy yu so heavy pwants?!â he demanded of the plants growing out of him. They didnât answer.
He waddled, and was nearly to the door when he collapsed again, panting in exhaustion. He could smell it! It smelled so so so good! âS-sketties smellâŚso yummiesâŚ!â he called over.
âThey are! Man, I think I need just one more biteâŚyou better hurry up, boy!â
He whined, âN-nu! Pwease nu eat mowe, daddeh!â he shouted, and started just crawling. He crawled his way slowly into the kitchen, only to see his Daddeh numming another forkful of sketties. They really did look so amazing⌠His mouther watered just looking at them.
âA-amâŚh-heweâŚd-daddeh!â He panted, and his daddeh looked down at him with a smile.
âFinally made it!â he looks down at his plate, then frowns, âAw manâŚnot againâŚâ
âWh-wha?â
âI ate almost all of it alreadyâŚIâm sorry buddy, they were just so good! Sketties are the best nummy.â
Dirt whimpered, his lip quivering as he teared up. Not againâŚhe didnât miss out on sketties AGAIN because of his stupid planties, did he?! âD-dewe no is skettiesâŚ?â
âThereâsâŚa little. And here, plenty of sauce!â Daddeh put the plate down in front of Dirt, and he looked it over.
A plate once overflowing with all the Sketties he could eat, now held a small pool of leftover red sauce, and a few stray noodles, with the smallest little bite of pasta left in the middle.
He held in his tears, but mourned what heâd lost out on. âB-butâŚD-diwtâs SkettiesâŚâ he sniffled, âW-was so eccitedâŚâ
âSorry Dirt. You know how bad Daddeh is with Sketties. You gotta go faster or I get so hungry!â
âI-isâŚo-otay DaddehâŚknow yu no did mean eatâŚaww skettiesâŚâ he said quietly, pushing himself up and getting to the plate finally. He ate his one tiny little bite of heaven, and while that one moment was amazing, it left him just longing to have had more. He lapped up every single drop of red sauce, sucked up every stray piece of noodle, and left the plate clean.
âGood boy, Dirt. Now, hereâs your seed paste. Eat them all up!â He squirted out a paste of seeds in a cardboard tasting mush of nutrient paste.
âO-otayâŚâ he lapped it all up off his plate, knowing it was what he was supposed to do. âD-daddehâŚDirtâŚnu want hab su many pwantiesâŚc-can Daddeh cut sum?â
âAhh, no, sorry buddy. Remember, its your job to grow pretty plants for me. They make me so happy! If I had to cut some, it would make me really sad. You donâtâŚwant to me me sad, do you?â He frowned.
âN-nu! Nu want make Daddeh sad!..J-justâŚnu wikeâŚsu many pwantiesâŚâ
âBut theyâre so pretty on you!â he pats Dirtâs head. âNow, how about we go outside and play?â
âO-otayâŚâ
Daddeh led him outside, and they began to play, but quickly he was getting tangled up in his plants again! Tripping, tangled, and dragging his plants around more and more.
âOh, I gotta head inside for a call. Use your door to come in when youâre ready, okay?â Daddeh said, hurrying off.
âB-buâŚnu can fit in doow!â he called after him.
âOf course you can, itâs a big fluffy door! Donât be silly!â And just like that, Daddeh was inside.
The sun was going down already, and it would be dark soon. He hurried to his fluffy door, and tried to squeeze in, but as usual, the plant right smack dab on the top of his back made him too big!
âN-nuâŚnu wan be ouwside in dawkies! Pwant, pwease wet Diwt fit!â he begged, but of course, the plant didnât listen. He begged and pleaded, then tried to call to his daddeh, only to be left in the dark outside. Scary noises began to sound around him, and he curled up, terrified. He heard monster howls and loud noises!
Dirtâs owner played more recordings of his nighttime terror mix and laughed as he watched his camera trained on his little fluffy. He was going to have a lot of fun doing this for âwork.â
Hope you enjoyed. I had the idea the moment I read about the contest. And hey, comment your own âchia fluff subjectâ story to add onto it if you want! In the vain of the four I had, could be fun! Ch-ch-ch-chia!