Chrissy's So Cruel! (Writer: SqueakyFriend)

Chrissy’s So Cruel!

Jojo was a small but pampered fluffy, green and blue with a harness and a collar, who loved lounging around the back yard. He loved his life and all it entailed, spaghetti and kibble and grass and even the little baths his mother inevitably provided when he came in coated in dirt. In fact, there was only thing he didn’t love. One he hated, to be frank.

And that thing was named Chrissy. Today, too, as he rolled in the backyard mud and basked in the sun he caught a whiff of yellow and then sprang to his hooves, glaring daggers at the feral mare standing at the edge of the lawn.

“Gu 'way!” he scowled. He hated everything about Chrissy! From her mockingly cheerful face, to how her fur was cleaner and prettier than his own despite her being a feral, to the way she smelled of flowers! She thought she was so much better than him and every day she came here to rub it in!

Chrissy trotted into the yard, flowers in her mouth, and Jojo grew defensive - how dare she encroach on his home turf! “Chwissy foun’ nummies! Hewe, fow fwen. Wuv yu!”

Nummies? FLOWERS? If his mother saw this fancy pompous fluffy she might adopt her and toss Jojo out! “Gu way!!” he barked, puffing up his cheeks. “Nu wan dummy fwuffy nummies!”

“Otay,” hummed Chrissy, putting down the flowers and booping Jojo’s snout with her own. “See yu tumowwow!”

“Nu, nu wan see dummy evew again!” Jojo puffed his cheeks up bigger as his rival finally left. How dare she never listen to him! How dare she redden his cheeks and ears like that! Oh, she was the worst!

“Remember to stay in the yard today,” Jojo’s mummah said when she gave him lunch. “It’s the first of the month, so the garbage men are out.”

Jojo gulped up the kibble while barely even chewing. A Garbage Man day was never fun - they were so loud and shook the whole ground sometimes. And they didn’t care about any fluffies in their way at all, so sometimes fluffies got swept up by their big cleaning cars and vanished forever.

Maybe Chrissy’d get swept up and he’d never have to see her again, thought Jojo. That’d serve her right, being so mean and cruel. Yeah! He bet she didn’t even know about Garbage Man days, this’d be the first one since she invaded his peaceful life. He bet that after giving him those flowers she’d be cluelessly wandering the sidewalk, the most dangerous spot for any fluffy.

“Jojo am going out!” he yelled as he hurried out the back door and into the street, not even letting himself roll in the sun and grass like he wanted. Dummy, dummy, dummy! Stupid Chrissy not even knowing common sense and making him tell her!

Just as he thought he found the feral mare just a street from his house, which was still further than he’d ever willingly gone before, collecting new leaves and flowers. She lit up the moment she saw him, cheeks glowing pink, but he just grabbed her ear and pulled. He didn’t have to pull hard, as Chrissy stumbled along with a little yelp, but that didn’t make him any less angry as he dragged her back to his yard.

“What happen? Whewe fwuffies going?” Chrissy asked, shaking her head and looking around the moment they were back home.

“Dummy,” huffed Jojo. “Dummy stupi’ fwuffy! Am Gawbage Man day!”

She didn’t seem to understand. Of course she didn’t, she was as stupid as she was yellow, Jojo thought. And as she lay with him in the yard, he hated that she took up so much space that was meant for him, and how she looked all innocent and pure when he knew she was doing it to look better than him, and how her pretty clean fur glowed in the sunlight. How cruel could she be, making him take care of her when she knew how he felt!

“Oh,” Chrissy said, looking up at the butterfly that had landed on her snout. “Hewwo widdwe fwen! Am yu Jojo’s bestie fwen?”

Jojo huffed and rolled over in the grass, grumpily glaring up at the sun. His mother was for sure going to see Chrissy and declare her perfect and take her away from him. A pretty and kind fluffy that didn’t need little baths every day, and that was polite and found her own food and blushed when interacted with! Not to mention the way she made Jojo blush every time she booped his nose and gave him food and giggled in that specific way when she thought a question was silly or dumb!

Oh, he hated Chrissy so much he wanted to scream!!


Aaa, das so cute, how come.


Ahh, young love. :two_hearts:


Ahhhhhh oh i love thiiiiiis little Jojo and Chrissyyyy ahhhhh


“'Ello, Sue. D’you like bread? I got French loaf.” WHAM runs away “Love you…!”

This is the only thing I could think of at the end of the story. It’s one of my favourite comedy bits. :sparkling_heart:




God I hate Chrissy so much already … Rooting for Jojo here!