Christmas Fluffies: Return Season [by Maple]

And so we come to the finale. I appreciate all of you being patient with me, I clearly didn’t get these done in the timeframe I wanted. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, so I wanted to show the requests I liked but couldn’t get to. The fluffies mentioned in order were requested by @mario1992 , @grimbusiness , @BunnyBean18 , and @Goomy . These were some really interesting ideas so I hope you’ll enjoy this consolation prize.

Here’s to another year of fluffy suffering!




The same shit, every goddamn year.

You pulled your scarf over your nose, the early January air cold enough to make the short walk from your car to the shelter door miserable. Still, you lingered for a moment before entering.

This was the worst part of the year. Your coworkers called it “return season”, when everyone got rid of all their unwanted christmas presents. Long lines formed at every customer service desk, local buy/sell pages were loaded with gadgets and decor no one wanted, and whatever couldn’t be returned or sold was thrown away.

Including fluffies.

You opened the door to the high-pitched misery of more than a hundred fluffies. Well over capacity, but they just kept coming in. Didn’t matter that you had no room for more, this was a county shelter and so you had to take what fluffcontrol gave you. You had to make room. Even if it meant keeping them three to a kennel or more, you made room.

And when there was no way to jam the kennels any tighter, you had to make room the only other way there was.

During the rest of the year each fluffy would get a post on the shelter’s website with a name, photo, and a small writeup of their personality and four weeks to wait for someone to request to adopt them. After that, you’d have the vet come in and take them to skettiland. These four weeks only started once they were cleared for adoption as well, if they needed any medical care, training, or weaning of either themself or their foals you’d have that taken care of before their timer started. When the shelter hit capacity that time dropped to two weeks, which was unfortunate but necessary. During return season? They were lucky to get 5 days. Not enough time to bother with a profile and pictures. Very few people were looking to adopt this time of year anyway.

The doors to each set of kennels did very little to muffle their grating voices so you threw your headphones on. This wasn’t a task that most had the stomach to do, sorting out who lived and who died was a rough task even for the most heartless of volunteers. As one of the few paid members on staff the task usually fell on you, years of retail work and cleaning dead fluffies from the streets had numbed you to their plight.

Pulling out one of the wheeled bins from the storage room you decided to start with the stallion kennels. You hit play on your phone before opening the door, the sounds of heavy metal quickly overpowering the cries of the biotoys inside.

Normally there was a whole system for who ended up at the top of the euthanasia list. Temperment and behavioral issues first, then fluffies with injuries that affected their quality of life (amputees mostly), and then traits that made a fluffy unadoptable to the general public like poor colors or deformities. It certainly wasn’t fair to the crippled fluffies but if they weren’t going to get adopted you might as well end their suffering quickly.

During return season that all went out the window. Whoever had been here the longest would get pulled, even if they’d only been here a few days. At times you’d had almost a 24 hour turnover.

You popped open the first kennel, the three fluffies inside rushing forward expecting food. You grabbed them each by the scruff and dropped them into the bin, not bothering to close the kennel before moving on. No time to clean between occupants, if disease spread it gave you an excuse to open up more room for intakes.

The next kennel had a fluffy you recognized, a scarred black fluffy that wouldn’t even look at you as you picked it up. You’d seen the scars on his shoulders and forehead, he must have been an alicorn once. A valuable one, too, if the stubble of his rainbow mane was anything to go off. Why someone would buy such a valuable fluffy just to tear it apart bit by bit was beyond you. Without his wings and horn he didn’t get the usual alicorn appeal and he arrived neutered so breeders wouldn’t want him. No one would adopt a scarred, depressed amputee no matter the color so in the bin he went.

You continued down the line, emptying kennels as you went. You couldn’t possibly remember every intake you’d seen, but sometimes a certain one caught your attention. While passing a foal cage you saw a little green earthie with bright red hooves. He’d come in with a note that was still pinned to the staff bulletin board explaining that he was meant to be some sort of corporate Christmas bonus. A clearly shitty one, as his prior owners agreed. The family that he was delivered to was Jewish and none to happy about the situation. The volunteers found the situation hilarious so they saved the note for others to read. You pulled him from the mass of begging older foals, he was just barely able to walk and still needed formula fed. Not something you had the manpower or funds for currently. Into the bin he went. Ironic that the hastily scribbled note would outlive him.

Once you’d hit the end of the stallion room you had a full bin of complaining fluffies. Ignoring their protests, you bobbed your head to the music while making your way to the euthanasia room.

The room was plain, a small entryway with a heavy metal door. You pushed the tub in, tipping it on its side and dumping the fluffies onto the concrete floor. Moving quickly you got the bin back out before the fluffies could recover enough to rush the door.

Next, the mare kennels. They were packed just as tight, if not tighter with the litters of young foals by their sides. Mothers got none of the usual special treatment they usually did, you tried to have no more than two nursing mares in a pen but that wasn’t always an option.

The first fluffy you grabbed was a pillowed green unicorn with a black eye. She barely reacted as you dropped her into the cart. Amputees rarely got adopted in the best of times and due to the injuries she arrived with she’d need medical care before she could be rehomed. She freaked out at alicorns as well, so there was little chance of her getting a home.

A few doors down was the only fluffy to have a private kennel. A heavily modified red mare sobbed in the back corner as you approached, a pair of demonic horns poking through her black mane. One of the younger volunteers said she was based on some popular show you didn’t know. She freaked out every fluffy that laid eyes on her, including herself. Two if the intakes yesterday died of straight up fear after seeing her, so she was given the rare luxury of a solo kennel. You thought maybe someone would come looking for her as the cloven hooves and slitted pupils couldn’t have been cheap to get done but a week had passed and no one ever did. Guess they didn’t think through what their aesthetic choices would do to a fluffy psyche.

You carried Millie under your arm to keep the fluffies in the bin from flipping out as you returned to the euthanasia room. A few stallions were knocked aside as you pushed the cart into the room and you set the demon fluffy by the door to keep anyone from thinking about escaping. Once the mares were dumped in you pulled out the now filthy bin and tightly shut the metal door.

Euthanasia on this scale was an unpleasant matter. During the rest of the year they were done one by one via injection by a kind vet that liked to give them each a small bowl of spaghetti and a cookie before putting them to sleep. He was another volunteer, a semi-retired animal veterinarian that paid for all of it from his own pockets. It was too much to ask him to do this many. Even if he agreed it would take hours and there was no way to get them all done before closing time.

You watched through the small window as you flipped on the machinery. The fluffies jumped at the loud noise of the fans engaging, CO2 being pumped in from the ceiling. You had submitted proposal after proposal to get an upgraded system, one that added a tranquilizing gas first before the CO2. The fluffies in the gas chamber panicked, gasping and choking as they sprinted around the space. They seemed almost resistant to suffocation, you had heard a rumor about it being an early fix to the whole drowning problem but you hadn’t seen any proof. What you knew was that gassing them took forever.

Once the right levels showed up on all the instruments, you stood from the chair, leaving the fluffies to their suffering. Too many things to do for you to just watch them drop one by one.

As you crossed the building you could hear sobbing over the barely muffled din of the kennel rooms. Grabbing an intake packet and pulling off your headphones, you opened the drop-off bin to see a single carrier inside holding a white fluffy foal. You silently thanked the powers that be for an easy morning intake, dealing with the fluffcontrol intake later would be much easier with all the open kennels now.

“Whew am Miwa??” The foal asked.

“That your owner?” You asked, opening the carrier.

The silver and white alicorn stepped cautiously out onto the metal table. You jotted down his type, colors, and apparent health.

“Yus… nee’ gu bak tu Miwa!” He looked around as if she would be hiding around the corner. “Fwuffy wiww be bettah cowwow, pwomise!”

Ah. A surrender then, someone got an out of fashion fluffy for Christmas. Unfortunate for him, but at least he was more adoptable than most of the fluffies in the shelter. “Well, I’ll look for…” Mila? Mira? Who could know. “I’ll look for her, why don’t we get you settled in your kennel.”

He was agreeable enough to let you carry him to the stallion room, you covered his wings as you brought him to an end kennel to avoid a mass panic. Hopefully one of the volunteers could find some alicorn friendly companions for him, you couldn’t afford to have another solo kennel. His owner was not likely to return for him but as long as he was able to get over his grief you could probably get him adopted. You made a mental note to have someone get a picture of him for the website. An alicorn had a chance to survive return season, a small one, but a chance still.

Returning to the euthanasia room you peeked in the window to see no movement. Hitting the button to activate the vent fans, you waited for the lights to turn green before unlatching the heavy door.

Fluffies lay scattered across the room surrounded by splatters of shit, eyes rolled back in their heads. You winced, seeing the small foal stomped to a paste in the panic. Unfortunate, but at least he went out faster than the rest.

You unlatched a grate on the floor and with a large push broom began to shove fluffy corpses down the chute below. When you first started you would carry every corpse one by one, you felt it was important to give them at least a small amount of dignity in death that was denied to them in life.

But you had shit to do. So broom it was.

Once the bodies were jammed into the chute leading to the biowaste dumpster you hosed the shit and blood down with it. Soon you had it cleaned and ready for the next batch of unlucky biotoys, who would be arriving later that day. It seemed like the influx never ended.

46 Likes

I love what you did with my request!

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The worker should be happy that they’re allowed to use CO2 asphyxiation as there’s an ongoing cost for that - the shelter management could have opted for the most cost effective method of a captive bolt pistol - grab a fluffy out of the bin, bolt it in the head, chuck down the chute. It’s more labour intensive but there’s less maintenance and running costs of an inert atmosphere kill chamber.

Looking up the method in more detail, rats stop feeling pain once the concentration hits 7.5% and fall unconscious at 30%, with death occurring after prolonged exposure at this level.
None of the studies I found assessed animal distress, but anecdotal observations from people who euthanise lab rats with CO2 say that the critters universally exhibit stress responses and trying to escape the enclosure once the gas starts, until the aforementioned concentrations levels are reached.

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Agreed that there are both ongoing costs to maintaining a suffocation chamber, on top of the high liability of one that could potentially be used ( accidentally or on purpose ) on humans. Insurance would have a conniption fit that the worker was able to walk into the chamber. So its both dangerous and expensive. The worker should be glad his shelter even was able to have this option.

For fluffies, a captive bolt pistol is one option- another one would be a slightly modified ‘rabbit wrangler’- for those that raise meat rabbits, the most common method of home execution is simply an installed metal bar that traps the rabbit’s head and allows for total dislocation of the neck vertebrae with a simple tug. Death is instant and also bloodless, allowing for the pelt and meat to be taken without having to worry about damage. Granted both this and the pistol method would have the disadvantage of being far too slow to handle such a high amount of fluffies at once, which is where the CO2 chamber really shines.

The worker’s comment about not cleaning the cages in between ‘guests’ made me wonder exactly why headcanon tends to have fluffies not suffer a lot of common ailments that affect similar animals. I could buy them being modified enough that it would at least at first not be as affected when exposed to diseases, but given how much we’ve discovered that viruses and bacteria can mutate, on top of this sort of dystopian overcrowding and lack of disinfecting, fluffies should be dying in droves from simple colds.

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I tend to headcannon that fluffies dont generally get sick. When building a organism from the ground up that is expected to be around young children, animals, and everything that comes along with both you’d want to make them have a robust immune system and be unnafected by as many human and animal illnesses you could. Yes, fluffies were an unfinished product so they arent perfect, but there are creatures that are immune to a bunch of illnesses due to a higher/lower body temperature than other animals.

Maybe they removed the reflext to cough or sneeze from them, keep their noses from running, etc. make their body tolerant to higher fevers than humans to help kill off viruses before they can properly take hold.

To answer as a writer, those things are inconvenient to the sort of stories I want to write. Fluffies are exactly as durable or fragile as the plot needs, which I really find to be the beauty of them.

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stomped just like the midianites

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Thanks @maple,my crooked alicorn will live forever in your story,same and I cheer up and make him a story that alicorn.that poor guy doesn’t know what people with money can afford hahahahahaha.

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My head canon is that fluffy biology makes them immune to most common diseases - viruses invade cells through certain markers on the outside of cells. Fluffies are an artificial lifeform so their cellular markers are entirely different to anything found in nature, thus making them effectively immune to viral infections.

Similarly, their penchant for huggies raises their body temperature on a regular basis, which inhibits pathogenic bacterial growth, in much much the same as a fever does. This buys time for the fluffy’s immune system to adapt and destroy the bacteria.

Since this sort of cellular and molecular biology is built from the ground up, it makes sense that this is already in place and functioning even though fluffies are an advanced prototype in most head canons. You can tweak genetically encoded engrams for behaviour with each new generation, but if your organism isn’t viable in the first place, it’s not going to reach the stage where you can assess how well your behavioural expression is.

ugh, reminds me way too much of the fucking animal shelter i worked at. i quit bc i couldn’t handle another fucking christmas

10/10

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God, I’m sure. I absolutely don’t have the stomach for that kind of work.

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i walked in bright-eyed and bushy tailed thinking i was a big strong boy who would stomach all the animal abuse and make all the pretty little babies happy and loved

fucking mistake. sometimes i wonder if we shouldn’t just euthanize every unwanted animal that isn’t a privately bred puppy or kitten upfront instead of making them wait

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Every time I’ve adopted a pet I’ve tried to go in with “what’s the biggest problem I can handle?” and I wish more people would think that way. Or at least get their animals fucking fixed, no one wants your random mutt puppies and you know it.

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god, don’t get me started on fixing. i want to strangle everyone that goes off about the animal’s aUToNOmY

first of all, what autonomy. we are not discussing dolphins and gorillas here. second of all, if they had agency over that autonomy, they would choose when and with whom to mate instead of blithely following their hormonal urges around their equally unfixed sister (because apparently being related means they magically become cognizant of consent and such when they wouldn’t otherwise).

my favorite was “we didn’t mean to breed puppies. we didn’t know the bitches were in heat!”

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Pets dont have autonomy. If you keep them leashed, collared, etc, they dont have autonomy. My cat arrived at the shelter pregnant and less than a year old, the workers tried to dance around the fact that they gave her an abortion. I dont care, she’d be a terrible fucking mother. She’s an indoor only cat who doesnt even get to decide what or when she eats. She doesnt get autonomy bc she’d use it to eat nothing but corn chips and tape.

Just because the average person wouldnt like to have their organs removed doesnt mean shit. They also wouldnt like to shit in a box or eat kibble.

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Ah that’s true- its not quite fun anymore to write about potential pandemics now that we’ve lived through one and probably are on the verge of at least one more. Though even if fluffies are immune to disease for whatever reason, they can still be carriers or just encouraging more bacteria to flourish via their endless volume of shit production. I can totally understand being more interested in the fluffies and the bleakbox than in the details of course.

The guy I adopted my current cat from seemed sad that I had said cat neutered, but he grew up in another country where cats are more meant to be ‘working’ pets around the farm and so on. I just told him that I only have a rented apartment, I can’t have a cat that sprays in the house, let alone him going insane every time a female cat is in heat within a mile or so radius. There’s no shortage of cats, so there’s no reason to insist on ‘spreading the seed’ or whatever weird projection issues these people have. Cat gets to have a comfortable life instead of being euthanized, eaten by a coyote, or run over by a car. And hopefully once I’ve saved up and moved into a bigger place I can adopt him a friend or two as well.

The fact said cat also can’t teabag me at night anymore is just a bonus.

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They let my wife’s cat son keep the empty sack so I’m not even immune to that. Theres a distinct sort of misery that comes from feeling his paws hit my face and then a third softer impact.

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That actually makes a lot of sense. Fluffies could be engineered to have an insanely high internal body temperature—so high that almost all pathogens cannot survive inside them.

The metabolism necessary to maintain this temperature could also explain why they poop so often.

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Yeah actually I’m really liking this theory. It would explain how their fluff can be both useless to keep them warm but lead to them frying in the heat. A warm fluffy would also be really nice to hug and snuggle with.

A hyperactive metabolism plus an inefficient digestive system would lead to absolutely mountains of shit. Plus it would explain how they resort to eating shit and garbage (and their own foals) so quickly.

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The only question would be: where do they get it from?

My headcanon is that the engineers at Hasbio started with—being closest in appearance to what they wanted without crossing into the uncanny valley—the genome of a dog.1 Then they added horse to refine the appearance, human to give it speech, and insect for color. Where would the metabolism come from?

1A stray dog that was appropriately named “Fluffy”. She’s still alive, and her birthday is a company-wide celebration each year.

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See i really like the “fluffies have 0 horse in them” idea. All hooves and vaguely horse-like traits come from pigs or cows.

Though, does it need to come from somewhere? We’re talking about some heavy science fiction here, I like to think of them as coming from a much better understanding of the genome than we have in the current day. A good chunk of fluffy traits (like wings, no vertibrate has 6 limbs) were just programmed like one would a video game. The DNA version of coding essentially.

Do love Fluffy and her role in this project, i would imagine something along the lines of a collie mix would provide the ideal fluffy coat.

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