For @pwuppy
Hope you’re okay with a small change to seafluffies, I realized I had written basically that for other entries into the Snake Experience setting so I wanted something a little more different.
“Happy holidays, reptile lovers!”
A young woman wearing a shirt with the Snake Experiences logo on it smiled as she came into frame.
“Today we have some very special stuff for you! We have a new friend I’ll be introducing later in the video, but for now-”
She set a plastic tub onto the counter, sloshing a small amount of water out as she did.
“-we’ll work on some treats.”
The woman reached into the tub, fishing around for a moment before plucking a struggling grey-green seafluffy from the water by its scruff.
“Ba’ upsies!!” The portly foal squealed. “Wan’ be in wawa!! Fwuffy nee’ wawa!”
“These are not usually something you see sold as live feed, they’re usually too expensive for it. I have connections with a few mills and pet stores and I was offered some off-color foals as a Christmas gift!”
She dropped the seafluffy onto the table with a wet slap, it started dragging itself back to the tub but she pinned its back flippers down to the table before it could get very far.
“Nee’ wawa, nice wady!! Wawa guud fo’ fwuffy!!”
“As you can see, seaflyffies are much fattier than your normal fluffies.” The fluffy squealed as she pinched its rolls of belly fat. “So this isn’t diet food. However, due to their much more complex nutritional needs they don’t need to be gut loaded! Good news for you!”
“Wha’?” The fluffy said, tilting its head.
“You’re perfectly good nummies as you are!!” She booped the fluffy on the nose as she spoke.
The fluffy stared at her. Across the bottom of the screen a message said “headphone warning in 3… 2… 1…”
“NU WAN’ BE NUMMIES!! SCREEEEEEE!!”
The sound cut out abruptly and the woman’s voice played over the silent footage of her wrestling with the foal.
“Hi, editor me here, I forgot that seafluffies have powerful vocal chords which allow them to speak under water. The rest of the prep video will be done with narration.”
The woman spoke silently on screen as she pulled out some garden shears.
“The only dangerous part of a seafluffy is the nails on the end of each flipper. They’re not super sharp but they do have the possibility to hurt sensitive bits like eyes. They also aren’t super digestible as they’re harder than fluffy hooves.”
She held out one of the foal’s flippers and sliced off the entire edge. You saw her wince as the foal screamed even louder in its pain. Each flipper was trimmed one by one, the frantic foal spraying blood all over her and the table.
“At this point they’re going to shit. No need to empty them, seafluffies have very liquid shit so it’ll be easy to clean up.”
She ignored the brown smear on the table and roughly dunked it into the water tub, swishing it around and then bringing it back up dripping with diluted blood.
“Now one of you told me you could use the sausage casings as a rubber band without any sewing or anything, thank you so much for that! It’s so much easier!!”
The woman pulled an off white band around the foal’s mouth. The foal tried to remove it with its bloody flippers but failed, dropping them limply to the table.
“I’ll let myself take over now.” The narrator finished.
“And that’s it! I probably should be using hearing protection for this, something to keep in mind.”
She set the mutilated foal next to the bucket and used a rag to wipe up the blood and shit across the table.
“Now this is safe to feed live! Remember that fluffies are the only safe live feed, never feed live mice or anything else! I’ll finish up the rest of them off screen and let you skip to the fun stuff!”
The camera cut to the woman standing in front of a series of glass enclosures, a smaller red bucket under her arm.
“And here’s the snake room! I think you’ll all be excited to see our first customer-”
The camera cut to a brown ball python in her enclosure, head lifted curiously and somewhat crooked.
“-Hera! She’s grown so much under our care, she’s been such a good eater lately, taking big mice and rats without a problem. She absolutely deserves a treat today!”
The grey green foal came into the shot, held out with long feeding tongs. Its eyes were wide as the enclosure door slid open and it was tossed onto the wood chip substrate.
Hera’s head snapped to the foal immediately, keeping her eyes locked on to the foal as she slithered closer. The seafluffy held its bloody flippers over its head as she grew closer and closer. It made no further efforts to run or hide.
The snake struck, missing the foal’s body and grazing her teeth along one if its already bloody flippers. The foal jumped up in panic, flipping over on its back and inadvertently lining itself up to give Hera a better shot. She struck again, catching the foal’s head halfway and coiling around it.
The foal struggled as the snake got tighter and tighter, its eyes bulging as its chest was crushed. Eventually its tongue fell limply out of its mouth and Hera started slowly feeding it down her throat.
“What a good girl! We don’t need to get her fattened up anymore, so this will just be an occasional treat for her.” she cooed.
The camera cut to another enclosure. “Time for another familiar face! You know him, you love him, it’s Juan the cane toad!!”
In the center of a muddy terrarium sat a large beige toad, perfectly still.
“I promise you, even though it looks like the lights are on but no one’s home he’s a very intelligent boy. I had so many requests to see him eat something live, so this is my gift to you!”
A dull red seafluffy dropped into the water dish of the tank, staining it red with blood from its mangled flippers.
“Whoops. Let me see if I can…”
A pair of feeding tongs came in to grab the foal as Juan watched. The struggling seafluffy foal proved too slippery for the tongs so they retreated and the woman’s hand came into frame.
With one fluid movement Juan leapt forward, jaws clamping down on the hand.
“Ow, fuck!” The woman shook her hand gently while Juan tried to shove it further into his mouth. “Not me you asshole!”
Juan released her after a moment’s struggle and locked onto the weeping foal. With the same speed and grace he grabbed the foal, swallowing it quickly with one exaggerated gulp.
“Glad you figured out which of us was food. I’ll clean out his water bowl later, when he’s less bitey. Asshole.”
The camera cut again to a large pen, a black pool in the corner with a ramp leading up to it.
“And here’s our new friend! I think you’ll be excited, this is not a common critter to see.”
The woman stepped over the side of the pen, looking around.
“There you are, you enjoying your basking light?”
The camera angle changed to show a narrow jawed crocodilian stretched out on a slate slab. Its high set eyes flicked open as the woman approached.
“This is Gertrude the gharial! She’s still getting used to us, so some live food would be perfect enrichment for her. Wouldn’t you know it, we got just the fluffy for the job!”
The camera returned back to the overview of the pen. The woman dumped out the bucket and a neon pink seafluffy tumbled onto the faux grass carpet.
“You’re going to ask me why I was given such a good color seafluffy to feed to the reptiles. I’ll show you.”
She lifted the foal and turned its dull green mane to the camera.
“Not a great secondary color there. This little guy was also mummah’s bestest baby, so the breeder wanted nothing to do with him. He’s lucky though, he gets to keep his nails because Gertrude is big enough to handle them.”
Gertrude saw the pink mass on the ground and started curiously approaching. The woman backed away from her, giving her a healthy amount of space.
The foal pawed at his face and eventually managed to hook his nail in the band around his mouth and pull it off.
“Nee’ wun ‘way fwom meanie wady!!” The foal said to himself, starting to bounce away much like a seal does.
The woman stifled a laugh as he seemed to miss Gertrude entirely and blubber his way to the pool.
“Wawa? How weach wawa??” He said, looking around. “Wawa cum to fwuffy??”
Gertrude kept her head low, footsteps muffled by the faux grass. She approached slowly, clearly expecting more intelligent prey. One of her claws hit the side of a piece of drift wood and she froze.
The foal slowly bounced in a circle, seeing the predator for the first time. “…Hewwo… am… am nice…?”
Gertrude didn’t reply.
“Fwuffy am nice fwuffy.” the foal continued, trembling. “Guud fwuffies nu am fo’ nummies, o-otay? Nu num. Fwend.”
They stared at each other for a moment before the foal took her silence as affirmation.
“Can nice munstah hewp fwuffy get to wawa? Fwuffy nee’ wawa fo’ good swimmies away fwom meanie wady.”
Then the foal made the mistake of turning away from his new toothy friend.
With a push from her powerful hind legs Gertrude snapped her jaws around the foal’s middle. She shook it from side to side almost like a dog, spraying the foal’s blood in an arc around her before tossing him into the air. For a split second you could see the foal’s look of absolute betrayal before he disappeared into Gertrude’s mouth.
“Oh what a show, pretty girl!!”
Gertrude flinched as the woman started to clap, pulling back into one of the available hides.
“Well, that’s all I have for you! Happy holidays to those who celebrate, and happy december to those who don’t!”
Patron names scrolled past over a slideshow of various lizards wearing little santa hats before the video ended.
