Tired of your standard old fluffies? Sure they’ll be your best friend for life but time breeds innovation. Forget about the same tired biotoy and embrace change…Chrysalis Fluffies! They might not be the prettiest to begin with but give them enough time and love then watch as they bloom into the cutest little ‘love bugs’ you’ve ever seen! Please ask your nearest friendly Fluffmart associate for more information.
-Excerpt from a magazine ad
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“Dad, I know I said I wanted a fluffy but…but this is…” Beatrice looked down to the creature on the floor. It resembled a mammalian slug, to put it politely. This wasn’t a pillowed fluffy: Just one where the limbs hadn’t developed yet. It’s body was round and fat, brown too. Like a big fat turd. The ten year old girl wanted to tell her dad that but knew she’d get in trouble. Viscous drool dripped out from the fluffy’s mouth and it wriggled pathetically in order to try and get close to his new owner. She stepped back.
“It’s ugly, dad! Is it even a girl or boy? Ewww!” The fluffy lacked a tail, instead plopping poopies onto the floor behind it with seemingly no shame. It wobbled, looked up to Beatrice. It’s beady eyes might be full of love. Hard to tell.
Jack crossed his arms. “It’s one of those new Chrysalis Fluffies. They’re a little, you know, like this. Then they get pretty.” The employee at the Fluffmart had told him that his daughter would be overjoyed. She was not. Scooping up the rather loathsome creature from the floor, even he winced in disgust. It was weirdly moist, heavy, and stank. Bringing it over to a litterbox, he dumped the creature into it.
Giving a roll of her eyes, Beatrice just examined the so-called fluffy in it’s box. Well. It needed a name. “OK. I guess he. Her. It? Is named…uhh…” She gave so little a care for the overgrown turd that she played the old gag where you look around the room for inspiration. Plant? No. Couch? Maybe. Well there was poop on the floor. Brown.
“Brownie. That’s it’s name.” Drooling on itself in the litterbox and looking up to his new owner with love, the newly minted ‘Brownie’ gave a gurgle noise and then promptly threw up. Not because it was sick, no. That was happy sicky wawa.
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Brownie didn’t do much and unlike other fluffies, didn’t ask for much. Mostly he (they discovered his gender after having to wash him) just sat in the litterbox and stared blankly into space.
Beatrice and her father didn’t outright ignore Brownie. The fluffy was taken care of well enough, unless you counted his want for love. He got lots of nutrient dense kibble that helped him get fatter and fatter, as instructed by the Fluffmart employee who had sold him. A television was set up to next to the littertray he was constantly lolling around in considering he couldn’t really move much and definitely didn’t seem potty trained.
FluffTV was his view to an outside world! Other fluffies, too. Brownie knew he was a fluffy just like they were. Everyone said so. The other fluffies had weggies though. They ran around on the teebee, played with toys, chattered among one another. There was no way he could do any of those things. Plus…
The fluffies on teebee were pretty. They had brushed manes and tails, their eyes were full of excitement and wonder, their fur was so pretty. Brownie wasn’t pretty. Mummah had said so. Every time she looked at him, her face looked like she was staring at a pile of poopies.
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While watching an episode of Cinnamummah’s Happy Babbehs one day, he teared up. Why did they get to have such a pretty, nice mummah? He had a mummah naow, but he didn’t remember having one before then.
“Naow babbehs, wemembah dat bein’ pwetty nu am ebbyfing.” She cooed to her foals, all of them clustered around the big fat brown mare. Gurgling and wriggling his tube-like body around, Brownie threw up in the littertray. That’s just how he showed how happy he was. It was easy to imagine being one of those babbehs.
“Buh Cinnymummah, pwetty fwuffies am pwetty.” One the dumb-ass foals responded. Pressing a hoof up to the little idiot’s mouth, the camera focused on Cinnamummah.
“Pwetties am in hewe” A hoof went to where her heart was. Well, where the producers told her to point.
Pretties were…inside of him? Nobody could see in there though. How could he show mummah how pretty he was if she couldn’t even view it? The thought frustrated him. Thumping around the litterbox, he let off a series of angry farts which sounded like a pack of firecrackers going off.
Stupid! Dummeh!
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Mummah was helping him in the littertray. The fluffy needed turned around regularly or he’d get sores. There was an entire pamphlet discussing their care, and her dad got on her case about taking care of him.
“Geeze. You really are ugly. And disgusting. Brownie, I kind of hate you.” Beatrice took a wet wipe and swathed it around his many fat folds. They stank just like he did all over. Brownie pathetically looked up to her as he was on his back, spit bubbles frothing out over his lips.
“That’s not cute. At all. So just stop.” Giving him a sour look, Brownie did stop. He wasn’t trying to be cute really. Just trying to show his owner that he loved her a lot. But…but why’d he have to be hated? It wasn’t his fault that he was ugly. It’s not like he chose it!
After he’d been cleaned off and rolled, Brownie was left all alone in the litterbox like always. Saddies took over and big greasy tears rolled down his eyes. A dummeh like him couldn’t even give mummah huggies to say he was sorry for being ugly.
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One night while everyone was fast asleep, Brownie’s stomach began churning. It was huwties, such a strange feeling, but it felt right. Like something was happening. Feeling as if his intestines were full of acid, he began vomiting out something that was not sicky wawas. Instead it was very, very sticky. The fluffy abomination didn’t know why, but he felt like it belonged on him.
Sticky stuff continued to drag out from his mouth. A few times it felt like it was getting stuck in his throat, and it forced tears to the corners of his mouth. Making breathies was very hard to do right now so he twisted and flailed his corpulent body against the stuff in an attempt to drag it fully out. Seeming like it’d never stop, he first focused on getting it onto his back half. Rolling and tossing, moving his body more than he ever had, Brownie blanketed his poopie place and where his back weggies should be.
More than anything he hoped mummah didn’t see him. Not like this. Even then it felt like it was right to do, he knew mummah would find it ugly. She wouldn’t be even a little bit proud of him. Everything he did was just another block on a big tower of disappointments.
More cables of sticky strands was gagged up, coiled along his body. It felt so right to do this. Becoming snug, all wrapped up like he was in a blanket. Or getting huggies. Not that anyone had ever hugged him in his entire life. Not his fluffy mummah, not this mummah, not daddeh.
Well…that was OK. He felt like he was going away. All this sticky stuff would be a curtain so they couldn’t see him. If they couldn’t see him, maybe they’d love him more then. No more being ugly, or gross, or anything.
The last of the stuff was collecting around his head. It gave him huwties to thrash his body around anymore. This was OK. With one last ‘BLECH’, he unloaded the last of the stuff around the final hole where his mouth was. The stickiness hardened up soon after, and he felt himself shrouded in darkness. Warm. Like his entire body was being embraced. Sleepiness took over and his eyes shut. No more ugly fluffy. They didn’t have to see him anymore.
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“Eww! EWWW!” Beatrice was the one to discover the cocooned fluffy. The white of his little vessel had quickly turned brown when exposed to air and it looked like a giant turd was in the litterbox.
Meandering into the room, Jack had to do a double-take himself. Oh Lord Jesus was that a hideous sight. Bulky and brown, was that the fluffy?
“Dad, that’s clearly a cocoon. A chrysalis is something different. I learned in science class.” Whining, Beatrice pointed out the obvious. Jack gave a roll of his eyes. He didn’t need the know-it-all attitude first thing in the morning and more importantly? Was that seriously the fluffy?
Reaching a hand out and patting the cocoon, he winced back immediately. Incredibly warm. Moist. Almost seemed to pulsate like a beating heart even under his slight touch.
“Honey, I guess we just have to leave it alone for now?” He didn’t know. Honestly he wanted to toss this thing in a dumpster. It was seriously almost barf-inducing.
Taking a blanket from the nearby couch, Beatrice tossed it over the cocoon.
“I don’t want to see it ever again!”
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Brownie was dreaming. Deep in a place that felt so warm and comfortable. Before, he’d never had dreams so vivid. His whole body itched too but it didn’t matter so much right now. A happy place, that’s what he was in.
“Bwownie, Cap’n Fwufftastic am sabe yew fwom ugwies.” That was Captain Flufftastic, his favorite hero from FluffTV! He swooped in and beat up a big ugly munstah. Even uglier than most of the munstahs on teebee. He didn’t know how he knew, but that was him.
“Dank yew, Cap’n! Wub!” Cheering. With…legs! He had weggies! In his dream he could even do this! DANCIES! A rainbow appeared out of nowhere, the fluffy hopping onto it then breaking into a feverish bit of dancing. With a swoop and whirl, the rainbow swept through all the teebee places he knew and loved in his heart. There was Princess Lollipop! The mare in her cool uniform gave a wink and then blasted the dreaded Professor Broccoli with her signature attack, the heart beam. Continuing to boogie down, the rainbow swept through BABBEHS. All of the chirpies immediately started suckling down milk and somehow got on their back legs to cheer him on as he danced across the universe. Growing even faster, the rainbow shot straight up to the sky and spat him out on a cloud.
There was Cinnamummah! She was smilin’ at him!
“Hai Cinnymummah! Bwownie am hewe! Teehee! Am dancin’ babbeh naow!” Showing off his moves, she smiled at him but didn’t seem very happy at all. Entire body wobbling as she got closer to him, Brownie could only react in confusion as a hoof settled against his body.
“Cinnymummah nu wub yew. Ugwy babbeh. Pwetties nu am inside, pwetty am pwetty!” With a shove, Brownie felt himself sailing down from the cloud with his favorite mare smiling diabolically from up above. Everything turned dark. He needed to wake up! No! No no no! This wasn’t good at all!
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It had been perhaps a week since Brownie had cocooned himself. The two other occupants of the house had dutifully been acting as if he didn’t exist, but Beatrice was watching the television when the blanket that’d been sat on him began shaking around.
“Oh geeze. Oh no. I don’t even want to see what he looks like now.” She groaned, calling for her dad. Jack rushed into the living room and looked down to the shuddering blanket, peeling it off with a wet squelch. Fluids were encrusted onto it and it was difficult to free.
“Dad, can you shoot it if it’s a monster? Please?” Beatrice asked her father who was completely agreeable to the idea. Who knew what was going to come out.
The cocoon began to violently pulsate and shake around. There was a rip as the material began to tear, the swaddle curling in on itself and pulling away as the occupant tried valiantly to free himself.
What emerged from the hole that had been created wasn’t Brownie. Not in the slightest. Jewel blue fur, a preciously green tail and mane. Most noticeably, he now had antennae. Wispy little things that poked out the top of his head, twitching slightly. Oh and who could forget the wings? No, that was the crowning achievement. Emerald green and sapphire hued butterfly wings that unfolded from his back, a rainbow of light catching on each as light passed over them. Legs. Legs too!
Beatrice squealed with joy and wrapped her arms around the fluffy. Her fluffy!
“You’re soooooo pretty! OH MY GOD! Dad look at him!” Brownie gave a shy smile. Pretty? Him? He was pretty? Sooooo pretty? Mummah was hugging him!
Jack had been standing by with his shotgun ready in case he emerged from the cocoon as a monster. Gave a sigh and put it to the side. “Now go play with it. Or whatever. Why the Hell don’t they just sell these pre-grown? Christ, Hasbio…” Grumbling a bit, obviously he didn’t understand their business model.
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Four months later at a fluffy daycare typical of any in the nation…
“Ugwy widdew babbeh. Stinkeh. Suuuu stinkeh.” Brownie sneered down to the stupid little fluffy who was shoved back in a litterbox. A dummeh nu-weggie pillow. Also, it was brown. Daddehs an’ mummahs didn’t like brown fluffies, so he didn’t either.
“Pwease nu gib Moomoo huwties! Moomoo am gud fwuffy! Eeeee! Nuuuu!” The pillow couldn’t stop an absolute torrent of sorry-poopies shot directly into his gaping mouth and eyes. Sitting there dripping with diarrhea, he knew he was ugly. Why did they have to keep saying it?
“Pwetties am pwetty! Bwownie am bigges’ pwetty hewe! Dummeh!” He wouldn’t seriously hurt Moomoo but he’d give him sorry-hoofsies, clapping down on the munstah in front of him. That’s all he deserved! Everyone cheered him on too, because HE was Brownie!
Pretties weren’t on the inside. They’d always be on the outside!
