What could go wrong?
Oh boy, now this sounds like a good plan that nobody ever tried before!
Nobody…
(I had intended to insert a link to an alternate timeline comic with WWII fluffy about to grenade hug some jerries in it here but couldn’t find it.)
Perhaps not even a good smarty
That’s why you don’t give Fluffies meth.
They create plunder-based economies and convince the people of Illinois that Germany can economy outside banking and silver toys.
These always make my day, super amusing stuff you come up with lmfao.
I am bad in history but even I know this is bad idea.
Holy shit that last panel caught me completely off guard. I may have actually laughed out loud.
Do WWI
We killed this guy named Franz Ferdinand, what’s the worse that could happen?
Some fun facts about the smarties of Operation Barbarossa that none of you probably know:
Hitler’s original plan was to go straight for the oil of the Caucuses instead of wasting time on Moscow, because he understood that Russia would need to be broken economically rather than militarily. However, Franz Halder, the scummy OKW general famous for popularizing the “clean Wehrmacht” myth (and also the “Hitler was crazy and I would have won the war if it wasn’t for him” myth) decided to secretly disobey orders and direct everybody towards Moscow instead of towards the Caucasus.
And we all know how that went. So then Hitler, obviously, was furious, and he ordered Halder to focus on the Caucuses during Fall Blau in 1942. Halder, having seen what happens when you attack Moscow, then attempted to repeat what he did in 1941 by very, very, very creatively interpreting Hitler’s orders, which resulted in him denying reinforcements to Army Group South and focusing them all on Army Group Center (i.e., Moscow) for an attack that never actually happened.
This is why Paulus stalled and was beaten at Stalingrad, why the Soviet counterattack was able to overrun Axis lines so quickly, and in turn why von Manstein was unable to break out the stricken Sixth Army: because there was a deficit of something like 75,000 combat-capable troops in Army Group South by the time Halder was ejected from his position and replaced by a more competent individual.
Like, if you want to blame Germany losing WWII on a single individual, blame Franz Halder. He was a nasty little weasel who was more interested in his own personal legacy than in winning the war. Rommel’s supply issues in Africa were partially due to Halder wanting to embarrass him by making him lose battles. Worse, Halder was one of those Dunning-Krueger people: absolutely incompetent, but also thoroughly convinced of his own superiority, to the point where you’d believe him just based on his confidence alone if you didn’t know better.
Not many people know this, but Halder was in charge of writing the official history for the Wehrmacht under supervision of the US government after the war, when the Cold War was beginning. He cast himself as a hero, the only man brave enough to stand up to Hitler; and he also conveniently foisted many of his bad decisions off onto dead people (such as Hitler). The same goes for a lot of other German generals from that era–they made themselves look good by blaming others for their crimes and tactical errors.
The worst of Halder’s acts, I think, is that he helped establish the narrative that Hitler is impossible to understand. “Why did Hitler do that? Oh, he must have been crazy, I guess. Only a crazy man would do that.” Which is dangerous, because that leads people to believe that Nazis and such things are the result of obviously wrong ideas dreamt up by abnormal people who can’t possibly be understood by a sane mind; when in reality, it’s otherwise normal people whose behavior is being twisted by increasingly sinister and extreme iterations of ideas that initially wouldn’t sound wrong to anyone.
I know this isn’t the place to ramble about Nazis, but it’s a topic that’s been on people’s minds lately where I am. And I love to talk about the World Wars. And I especially love to dunk on Halder, that poncey fuckstick.
“Fun” fact: Archduke Franz Ferdinand spent the last moments of his life comforting his dying wife, who was also shot with him. He told her she needed to live for their children, even as he was bleeding to death himself. It’s a very tragic story, especially since Franz was actually one of the most reform-minded Hapsburgs in the family. Had he not been killed in 1914, there’s some evidence he would have been willing to work with the Serbian nationalists… Y’know, the ones who murdered him.
Anyway, ah… fluffy babbeh skettis poopies fluffTV exclusive interview asparagus diarrhea shit is so fragile as to be broken by all soon-mummah-pillow-nugget i am the fluffster huu huu h’juub foal-in-a-can assface double enfies lawn invasion kibble made from aborted foals abuse average smarty with average intelligence litterbox PETA raid dancie babbeh ten whacks with the sorry belt joe biden parasitic wasp colony foal-b-gone sky-blue bestest baby lance the slipper fucker obese forever-foal’s steaming shitty diaper dis smawty wand nao
Had to make this fluffy-related somehow.