It’s 8 A.M, and you have just woken up. It’s Monday, no work, you have to take the kids to school, replace the baby’s diaper, and cook breakfast. “Time to get up, it’s time for school!” “B-but daddy, i don’t wanna go to school!” “But guess what…” What?" Today’s an EARLY RELEASE Day!" “YAAAAAYY!! I’ll go put on my clothes now!” your male unicorn fatass smarty wakes up. “Dummeh babbeh hooman! wet smawty hab sweepies!” 40 MINUTES LATER… You are sitting in the living room, browsing Craigslist. Suddenly, a Large Pop-up shows up saying, GET A SHOWPET/ALICORN FOR 95% OFF!" You are Gobsmacked at this sighting. “A showpet fluffy…for Practically FREE???” Your fat piece of shit smarty is sitting at the table, peeking at your computer. “Bestest speciaw fwen fo’ bestest smawty!?” As you look at the top of this page, it appears to be a sketchy .tor domained link. Porno ads everywhere. As you scroll down this page, thousands upon thousands of comments pop up, saying “just ordered my showpet, cannot wait to see it!” “WOW…My alicorn looks INCREDIBLE!” and others appear. You ordered, putting in personal info nilly willy while your tongue sticks out like a dog, drooling at this price, for $15.95. After your ordering, you place a comment. "Omg…I cannot wait for my valuable pet to come here. I. AM. STOKED!
TO. BE. CONTINUED!
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