When the Jews return to Zion
and a comet fills the sky
The Holy Roman Empire rises
and you and I must die
From the eternal sea he rises
creating armies on either shore
Turning man against his brother
'till man exists no more.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHH OOOOOO OHOHHH!”
I thought it would be funny to teach Damien the Iced Earth song he shared a name with.
It’s not funny anymore.
Damien shireked the song I used to like at a waiting room full of fluffy ponies who either cowered in fear or blatantly cried. The fluffy parents glared at me and I could only shrug and say,
“You try shutting him up.”
Damien sat up on his haunches, on the coffee table in the middle of the waiting room, chest puffed out, chin held high and gestured with his front legs and wings as he absolutely performed the fuck out of the nine minute song.
One guy jumped out if his seat and interrupted Damien by yelling,
“Dosen’t anyone have a sorry stick?” Damien responded immediately by slamming his front hooves down on the table and snorted aggressively.
“ay du!”, Damien answered and pointed his Damascus steel encased horn at the guy and asked, “wanna danse fwck boi?” (Maybe I shouldn’t have weaponized the psychotic pit bull sized alicorn. Maybe.)
“Let it go Damien. Come on back over here.”, I said patting my thigh. Damien turned around swishing his tail and flicking his ears angrily. He hopped off the table and exclaimed, “gawd damm! ay jus wanna shair pwitty song duhaddybwo teach Damien an dis pig fwcker wanna fwap him koksuker!” Damien looked over his shoulder and blew a raspberry before he sat down next to me. After a moment an evil grin spread across the pony’s face. He took a big sniff and exaggerated the gesture before exclaiming to the room, “hai, dis guy smeww wike he fwcks fwuffys!” Damien pointed at the same guy with a hoof and added, “wach ou foals awound dis fwckin’ guy!”
“Aren’t you going to discipline your fluffy?”, the guy demanded, staring at me.
“For what, fuckboy?”, I responded. The guy just huffed angrily and crossed his arms, leaving the room uncomfortably quiet. Quiet enough for everyone to hear a tiny voice from the carrier that guy had with him say,
“nu wike bad enfies.”
The room erupted in a cacophony of angry and disgusted human and fluffy voices condemning that guy. Thankfully the nurse called us back before the lynch mob could truly form. I grabbed Damien’s leash and quickly pulled him through the door with me leaving the nurse to sort out the shitstorm we started.
