You can buy unflavored fluffies that are basically tofu, they’ll absorb the flavor of the marinade or sauce. Hell, just feed the chirpies the marinade, marinate them from the inside.
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Sardine bones are edible (used to eat them all the time). If its too hard it can be a real turn-off. I tried balut (fertilized duck or chicken egg) and yeah, the bone I bit into just turned my adventure into one big NOPE.
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Heh. The way I see it, if a company goes to all the trouble of making an entirely new life form, why not make it edible.
Now, here’s the big question: are garden fluffs vegetarian? They are basically animal shaped plants…
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Reminds me of the age old question: would you rather eat shit that tastes like chocolate, or chocolate that tastes like shit?
Don’t think I’d try fluffy crap no matter what it tasted like.
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I mean, most carnival/amusement park Fluffy stories involve domestic terrorism and mass casualty events.
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Ah, but this is bioengineered, FDA certified crap! Guaranteed to provide all a person’s daily vitamins and minerals (when eaten as part of a balanced diet)
Besides, what else are you to do, eat our competitor’s speciality, Soylent Green?
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Edible gimmicks require a lot of complicated bullshit.
Safety inspections, risk of contamination, tariffs, shelf life, and so on.
That’s why bottom feeder companies do it. When Hasbro wants an edible element they work in cooperation with another company which does all the work, takes all the risk, and reaps a far reduced amount of the rewards. If Chinese lead paint is used on the base of a sucker holder shaped like Optimus Prime then Hasbro doesn’t even have to show up in court, not their problem. Unsold stock that expires, the other company eats the cost which given Hasbro is known specifically for not recalling unsold merch even after a decade is a very good thing. There’s still Last Jedi shit on shelves in some places.
Hasbro kills a lot of small companies that way. Or rather stands by as they restructure over and over and over and over…
Since Hasbio is a parody of Hasbro dialed up past 11 and up to 40k, then it makes sense Fluffies are toxic as fuck and companies selling them as food are unaffiliated but pay blood money mob-style to Hasbio or something.
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Hmm looks delicious
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Mmmmmmmmmmm
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I agree 100%, I don’t see Hasbio developing these things directly. Maybe some company based in a country with lax patent laws?
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“Y’all laughed at me for carrying around this cooler full of cleaned, cheese filled, foals! But I showed you!”
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Do you have to eat them? Or can you just murder them with boiling oil for mental illness related reasons?
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I’ll take a six piece.
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…
That’s getting into some kinkily interesting territory.
Side note: reading about all this deep fried stuff and am having soup for dinner. I feel rather unsatisfied.
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mmmm deep fried chirpie
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Of course, but sir, this is an Arby’s. You want the Dicks sporting goods down the street.
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Ever see the way they defeather a turkey? Like that except they’re still alive.
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Never write fluffy fiction on an empty stomach.
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Fluffies are unpalatable to lots of species in my headcanon. I figure that Hasbio wasn’t concerned with how fluffies taste because they weren’t planning on selling them as food. They were to be sold as toys.
But they failed to take one thing into account.
Americans will eat damn near anything.
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