Seymour was annoyed. Partly because she was called Seymour, that was a boy’s name, but apparently Daddeh named her after his favourite Bond Girl, whatever that was.
Mostly though it was because her roommate Andress had just given birth, and was happily playing with her newborn foals, while Seymour was still pregnant and waiting for her tummy babbehs to arrive.
“Pwease come soon tummeh-babbehs, mummah wan meet yu aww so muchies.”
“Mummah wub babbehs, babbehs wub mummah, dwink aww da miwkies, gwow big an stwong.”
Andress’ off-key mummah song stabbed at Seymours ears, she should be singing to her babbehs, not Andress. Stupid pretty Andress with her pretty pink fluff and crisp white mane and adorable little pink wings, thinking she was so much better than peachy Seymour with her blue mane and blue horn, yeah, Andress definitely thought she was so perfect and clever showing off her babbehs in front of Seymour like a…
“Hewwo bestesh fwiend See-mowe, yu wan gib huggies tu babbehs, Andwess knyo babbehs wub bestesh fwiend See-mowe.”
“Nu Andwess, See-mowe tuu biggies tu gib babbehs huggies.”
“Ok, wub yu bestesh fwiend.”
Andress was a right hateful bitch at times.
At the point, the door opened and daddy walked in, carrying a bottle of wine he’s picked up at the shops, he looked over the two mares just as Andress was rolling over into a Fluffpile with her newborns. He smiled at the sight and turned to Seymour.
“Well Seymour, we made it, you’ll probably give birth sometime later today I’d say.”
“Yeh daddeh, See-mowe hope yu weady fow unfowgettabeh babbehs.”
Daddy nodded and left to put his wine in the fridge, but as soon as he had left the room, Seymour felt her stomach turn and a massive shit build up in her colon.
Only it wasn’t a shit.
“BIGGESH POOPIES!”
With a surprising amount of force, Seymour pushed out all her foals in record time, barely more than one or two pushes before all five of them were out of her. She sighed in relief that finally she could play with her newborns, but then she turned to see them and found all five of her foals were varying shades of brown.
“OH SKY-DADDEH! See-mowe’s babbehs am wuined.”
Her eyes darted around, trying to think of a way to save her from this embarrassment. They she saw Andress’ foals, she had five as well, all pink and pretty and perfect.
“Wha if, See-mowe wewe tu take Andwess babbehs, an dee-guys dem as See-mowe’s babbehs. Ho, ho, ho, dewightfuwwy devuhwish See-mowe.”
Seymour took one step forward toward Andress’ closest foals, and Daddy opened the door, having heard the muffled shouting from earlier.
“SEYMOUR!”
“DADDEH, oh Fwuffy was jus… stwetching weggies, gud exa-sy-sees. Cawe tu join”
As if to prove her point, Seymour pretended to do aerobics, all while hiding her shameful poopie babbbehs from her daddy. Daddy’s eyes narrowed and stared at her, his ears just barley hearing the tiny mewls of hungry newborns.
“Why is there crying going on behind you Seymour?”
“Oh dat? Dat nu cwying, dat jus happee noises fwom tummeh-babbeh sounds. Mmm, babbehs sounds.”
Daddy looked unconvinced, but shrugged his shoulder and left, allowing Seymour time to switch her foals with Andress’ before anyone was any the wiser. She then happily placed the pink foals in a Fluffpile around her and waited for Daddy to return.
Not long later, Daddy returned and Seymour beamed up at him. “Wook daddeh, Fwuffy hope yu weady tu see wots of pwetty babbehs.”
Daddy looked down at the litter, all fed and sated and surprisingly quiet as they lazily lay next to each other.
“They’re not making much noise. I thought you said they were making babbeh sounds.”
Seymour laughed. “No ho ho, Fwuffy say babbems am WOUND. Dat wha Fwuffy caww pwetty fat babbehs.”
“You call newborn foals ‘Round Babbehs’?”
“Yeh, it am wegionah diawect.”
“What reqion?”
“Upstate Noo Yowk.”
“Really? Well I’m from Utica and I’ve never heard anyone use the expression ‘Round Babbehs’.”
“Oh it nu fwom Yoo-tee-ca, it am Awbahnee Expwession.”
“I see.”
Daddy inspected the foals closer, they had obviously been fed as most of them still have milk stains around their mouth, but Seymour’s teats didn’t look to be had anything drained form them. Plus their colouring was more similar to the still sleeping Andress than Seymour.
“You know these foals look quite similar to Andress there behind you.”
Seymour laughed again. “Hehehe, nu daddeh, pah-ten-ted See-mowe babbehs, owd famiwy wes-a-pee.”
“For Round Babbehs?”
“Yeh.”
“Yes and you call them Round Babbehs despite the fact they’re obviously just fed and not by you.”
Cold sweat started dripping off of Seymour’s face. “Eh, um, ye, om, yu knyo, mm, win fing See-mowe need tu… Excoos See-mowe wun moment.”
“Of course.”
Seymour dashed back to her bedroom then just as quickly ran back, overexaggerating a yawn as she did.
“OH! Dat was wondafuh, gud times had by aww. See-mowe am pooped.”
Daddy placed the pinks foals back into the Fluff-pile and began to stand up. “Yes I should be…. GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?”
Seymour turned and saw the fire she had started at Andress’ tail had bulked up and started to take over the pink mare’s entire body, emanating a bright orange glow from her open bedroom door. With no idea what she could say to get out of this, she turned back to Daddy and spat out the first thing she could think of.
“Awowa Boweawis.”
“I… Aurora Bouralis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localised entirely within your bedroom?”
“Yeh.”
“…May I see it?”
“…Nu.”
Seymour gathered the foals and walked with Daddy to the front door, from the bedroom she could hear Andress screaming.
“SCCCRRRREEE!!! BESTESH FWIEND HEWP! ANDWESS HAB WOWSTESH BUWNIE HUWTIES!”
“Nu Andwess, am jus da Nowthwen Wights.”
Daddy bent down on one knee to speak to Seymour directly.
“Well Seymour, you are an odd mare, but I must say, your babbehs are nicely round.”
Daddy gave her a soft pet on the head before leaving again, all while Andress dashed about her bedroom, spreading the fire all across the house, still screaming for help.
