Doctow-nu-mowe Josef Mongola and Fitzgerald belong to @BFM101 . This story might be canon.
…
The first snow of the winter season had fallen from the world’s inexplicably Cockney clouds.
Josef Mongola stared unblinkingly at Izzy Hue Mann’s latest creation as the two stood in a field.
“You made an anatomically-correct sculpture of a female fluffy out of snow? Why?”
Izzy shushed Josef as he pointed at a nearby patch of bushes.
“You’ll see, watch this:”
A snow-white fluffy wriggled his way out of the bushes and perked up upon seeing the snowmare.
“Yu am pwetty mawe, yu wook wike Fit! Yu am speciaw-fwiend nao ow ewse! Habe gud feews!”
Fit trotted up to the mare, lined himself up, and began enfing away.
Josef turned to Izzy in disgust.
“Is this what turns you on? Why would you think I’d be-”
Izzy wordlessly points at what Josef’s missing.
“ENF ENF ENF ENF-oh nu…”
Fit’s body heat had melted the snow, which had then refrozen around his genitals.
“WET GU OB NU-NU STICK DUMMEH MAWE!”
Josef tried to stop himself from smiling, before breaking down laughing.
“Okay, I can see the appeal now!”
Izzy nodded.
“The main question is if the fluffy tears his junk off to escape or stays stuck and dies of cold.”
Fit kept trying to get unstuck, but the snowmare was packed too densely and all his attempts to sorry-hoof his way free just resulted in his hooves freezing to the top of the sculpture.
Not that Fit had realized the seriousness of his predicament yet.
“Dummeh mawe, wet Fit gu! Take sowwy-teefies!”
Fit bit down, only for his mouth to become frozen into the snowmare’s neck.
“MMPH! MMMPH!”
FIt would have frozen to death there, but an extremely out of place polar bear happened along at that moment. Having been unable to find a mate that season the bear instead raped Fit to death.
Izzy and Josef wisely chose to flee while the bear slaked it’s lusts with Fit’s not big enough butthole.
…
In Hell:
Fitzgerald Elias Mongola glared silently at the grinning demon sitting across from him.
“Back so soon, Fit? What happened to your claim that you’d be fine as long as you were white?”
“STOP REINCARNATING ME AS FLUFFIES!”
“No, this is just punishment for your sins and also hilarious. Have fun in your next life, asshole!”
…
Fitzgerald blinked his eyes open.
“Babbeh open see-pwaces! Mummah habe su many heawt-happies!”
Ricky Guerra looked over.
“Great! That way I won’t have to hold his eyelids open when I extract his eyes for transplanting!”