Even Hugboxers Have Limits [by Maple]

Be you.

Fluffy pony lover

Just had to put your beloved colt Pickle down after 4 good years

Fluffy ponies don’t live super long

And he was a rescue

And also he ate your shoelaces

Such is the life of a fluffy owner

Scouring the streets looking for a feral to take in

Maybe this time you can find an abused alicorn

People say they’re rare to find

But you’re feeling lucky

Down your 5th alley of the afternoon you hear singing

Jackpot.png

“Hello, is there a fluffy down here?”

“N-n-nu!” A high pitched voice replies

You pulled aside a box to find a purple mare curling around her foals.

“Nu huwt bestest mummah!”

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

You look over her foals

Decent colors, nothing too ugly but nothing too interesting either

Over in the shit pile you saw some movement

A foal struggled out from the filth

“What’s this?”

“Dat poopeh babbeh! Take poopeh babbeh, weab bestest babbeh!”

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You put on the gloves you keep for situations like this and pick up the foal

It struggles gently in your palm, and you cringe

It’s a shit brown with a greenish almost bruise colored mane

A unicorn, you thought maybe an alicorn but the “wings” were just dried feces stuck to its back

Ew.jpg

This is the kind of foal that needs you the most

A perfect sob story, maximum brownie points

But those colors…

You dropped it to the ground with a crunch

Whatever, not like anyone would know

“You’re right, that is a poopy baby.”

You hold out a gloved hand to her

“You want to come home with me? I would love to have you and your pretty babies come live with me.”

“Be nyu Daddeh?”

You led your new fluffy mummah down the road to your car where a carried waited

The brown foal’s peeps ignored behind you

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Yess, that’s exactly the kinda thing I was talking about! Poor poopie baby, a moment of hope and then “nope”.

I hope the rest of the family gets a cozy, love-filled life, guilt-free in the knowledge they deserve it.

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A happy ending, for once!

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