The Tale of Mercury
>You are Mercury, fastest fluffy pegasus in the world.
>You can outrun any fluffy, no matter how fast they think they are.
>Your mommy was fast too, but not fast enough to outrun that stupid human munster that kicked her when you left your hidey hole.
>Since then, you’ve done nothing but run.
>Got to keep running. Got to stay ahead of the munsters.
>Tonight, you’re running down the street with fresh nummies in your teeth, when you see something from the corner of your eye.
>It’s a light box in some human’s house and it’s showing mountains of the fabled Spaghetti.
>This is worth stopping for.
>As the Light box goes on and on, other fluffies start gathering around you, plopping down on their fuzzy rumps to listen to the light box talk.
>”Spaghetti land is the premier destination for all you fluffy lovers out there!” says the human voice.
>”Litterboxes every fifteen feet!” he says. “Every ride fluffy safe! All the spaghetti your happy fluffy ponies could ever want!”
>There there’s a blue earth fluffy on the light box. “Fwuffy wuv sketti wand!” he says. “Bwing you fwuffies to Sketti wand!
>”I say dat wite?” he asks, before the camera cuts back to a mountain of spaghetti.
>”Come visit Spaghetti Land TODAY!”
>You look to the fluffies who are positively bouncing off the sidewalk with delight.
>”Dere sketti wand?” “Dis weal?” “Wan Sketti wand!” “Wheh Sketti Wand?”
>You feel as if it was your destiny to see this, and you run up on top of a stoop.
>”Wisten up fwuffies!” you say. “My name Mecuwy! I nawt smawty fwiend, but know dat Sketti wand is weal!”
>”Gweat Sketti Gawd choosed us to heaw dis!” you say. “We teww aww fwuffies evey where!”
>”Gweat sketti gawd?” “Wat Gawd?” “Pway?” “Hungy!”
>You stamp a hoof to the ground to regain their attention.
>”Go fwiends!” you say. “Wun an teww aww fwuffies bout Sketti Wand! Fwuffies be safe dere! Fwuffies no hide fwom hooman munsters dere!”
>”What the hell is all that noise?” says a human voice from the house. “Are those fucking fluffies? Where’s my shovel?”
>You jump down from the stairs, and start running. Running to tell every fluffy.
>”Wun!” you yell back at them. “Wun an teww aww you fwiends! Sketti Wand is weal!”
>The herd scatters as the human comes out of the house as they run to tell other fluffies the good news.
>Now your running has a purpose. You’ll visit every herd of fluffies and tell them the legend of Spaghetti Land.
>You may not be the smartest fluffy in the world, and your memory may not be great, but you’ll never forget this.
>You are the fastest fluffy alive, fast enough to tell every fluffy about the Land of Hugs and Spaghettis.
>You are Mercury.
>And you will lead fluffies to Spaghetti Land if it’s the last thing you do.
author_vanner fall_of_cleveland fluffy_pony_story mercury text