You’re Jack, a feral fluffy stallion. You’re walking down the sidewalk, looking for wawa. You’re a little nervous, being around so many humans, but as long as you don’t bother them most of them should leave you alone. If any of them seem to take an interest in you or approach you, you’ll run away.
You are SO thirsty!
You’re distracted watching some humans leave a building, hoping they don’t come your way, and something leaps out from behind the trash can you’re walking past and tackles you in a hug!
“PPPBBBLLLTT! FWBEND?!”
“AAUUUGH! WET JACK GU!”
You thrash around in a panic and shove whatever it is off of you, skittering away in case it attacks again. Oh. It’s another fluffy.
This one is a dull gray with limp, faded yellow mane and tail. He smells dirtier than you do, but you can tell by his scent that he’s a stallion. One ear is missing and he’s covered in scars all over his back and rump. He’s also skinnier than you under his fluff; he must not be eating well.
The most bizarre thing about this fluffy, though, is his eyes. One is looking directly at you, but the other keeps wandering off in another direction all on its own.
Ooooh, poopies. He’s a dummy fluffy. You’ve encountered one like him before. She was stupid beyond belief, clingy, and irritating, but you gave her special huggies simply because, hey, why not. She didn’t seem to understand what you were doing though and kept making dummy noises the whole time, trying to get away. You finished and she just started crying, so you left her there and went off on your own. What kind of dummy doesn’t understand special huggies?
“ACK-pbbbllt! Fbbbult-DERP! Fbwend?”
“Ugh. Nu! Jack nu yoo fwend! Yoo dummeh fwuffy! Gu way!”
You turn and walk away, not wanting to deal with this right now, and continue your quest for wawa.
Eeeeewwww, it’s following you!
“HERP-derpderpderp! Pbbllt! Fbwend?”
“NU! Nu fwend! Gu way, dummeh!”
It just keeps following you, making stupid noises and spitting and drooling everywhere.
“ACK-pbbllt!”
You grit your teeth in irritation and investigate a discarded cup; nope, no wawa in it. You keep walking, gritting your teeth as the idiot trails behind you, making his stupid noises.
You skid to a stop and backpedal to get away from a human exiting the building next to you, barely avoiding getting smacked in the face with the door. You try to turn around and get away in case the human attacks, but you run into the dummy fluffy and he starts hugging you, drooling into your fluff.
“FBWEND!”
“Nu, dummeh! Wet gu! Jack nu wan be yoo fwend!”
You squirm to get out of his hug, then in desperation you smack him on the nosie so he lets you go.
“UUUUUH! FBL-HUWTIE! OWIES! Ack! Huuu…”
You manage to get him off of you and frantically look around in case you get attacked, but the human just ignored you both and got into a metal munsta and ran off. Whew! That could have ended disastrously, thanks to this idiot! You angrily turn to the dummy fluffy, who is sitting on his haunches and trying to hug his nosie.
“Dummeh fwuffy! Yoo gon git Jack huwties ow fowevuh sweepies! Gu way! Jack nu wike yoo! Weave Jack awone!”
“Huuhuu, fbwend?”
“NU! Nu yoo fwend! Gu way, dummeh!”
You give him a raspberry, which sounds remarkably like the stupid noises he makes, and walk away, leaving him to sit there and cry.
Now, where to find wawa?
Sniffing the air, you detect the faint smell of… wawa! It’s this way! You trot down the sidewalk, sidestepping some trash some human dropped, and make a beeline for the scent of wawa. It’s getting stronger!
You spot a small bridge going over a deep concrete ditch and trot out onto the bridge. Where’s the wawa? It smells like it’s right here. You look over the edge and your tummeh does flippy-flops as you see how far down it is. There’s wawa at the bottom, but you have no way of reaching it. It’s not fair! You’re so thirsty!
Then two humans step onto the bridge, one at either end. Oh no! You’re trapped! You can’t run either way, you’re trapped between them! You scramble to the very edge of the bridge, afraid to look down, and lay there, shaking in fear. You cover your eyes with your hoofsies. Please don’t see me, please don’t see me, please don’t see me, please…
You hear one human walk past you. Whew! It didn’t see you! The other should be passing you right about…
You hear the laugh just before you get kicked in the face and feel yourself falling in empty air.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
You hit the ground, hard, and roll toward the wawa at the bottom. NO! Wawa’s bad for fluffies! You’ll drown! You scrabble your hoofsies as you fall and slide, trying to stop yourself, and you feel your bottom go in the wawa.
“NUUUUU!”
You just manage to stop yourself before going in completely. But… you can’t pull yourself up. The side of the ditch is too smooth and steep. You have nowhere to go but down into the wawa, where you’ll drown.
“Hewp! Hewp! Sumbuddy hewp! Pwease! HEEEEEWWP!”
You hear a noise above you and the dummy fluffy pokes his head over the side of the bridge.
“ACK-PPPBBBBLLLLT! Fbwend?”
Any port in a storm.
“Hewp! Hewp Jack, pwease! Nu wan fowevuh sweepies! Hewp!”
The dummy fluffy’s head disappears and you hear his hoofsies tapping on the bridge above you as he runs away. He abandoned you. You start to cry, feel yourself slide again, and scramble to gain purchase on the smooth concrete, squirting scaredy poopies into the wawa as you fear sliding all the way down. You stop yourself again, but you feel the cold wawa soaking into your fluff, making its way higher and higher up your body. Tears drip out of your fluff onto the concrete as you cry. You’re going to die here and you know it.
“FBWEND!”
Wha- OWIES! Something hit you in the head!
You look up and the dummy fluffy is holding something in his teeth that comes down all the way to where you are. It’s one of those odd strap things that humans put around their middles, and the metal part hit you in the head. Oh! He’s rescuing you!
“Fank yoo! Jack sowwy fow cawwin yoo dummeh! Pwease, hewp Jack!”
It’s hard to understand him with him spitting so much and the strap in his mouth, but you think he just shouted “fbwend” again.
You bite onto the strap as hard as you can and he starts backing up, trying to pull you out. But he’s so skinny, and you’re bigger than he is. He can’t pull you up. After several more attempts, he stands on top of the strap so it doesn’t fall in with you (maybe you didn’t give him enough credit for his intelligence) and starts shouting at the top of his very loud lungs.
“PBBLT-HEHP! HEHP! TURBLE-FPPPT! HEHP! ACK! HEHP FWUFFEH!”
You hear the bridge vibrate in a TUMP-TUMP-TUMP and recognize the heavy footsteps of a human. Oh no. Now the dummy fluffy is going to share your horrible fate.
“What’s up, little guy? Why are you making so much racket?”
“FBWEND! PBBBTTTT! HEHP! NEE HEHP! ACK-TURLBLEPFFT!”
“Uh… Oh. You need help?”
“HEHP!”
“Why do you have a belt?”
You see a human lean over the side of the bridge and whimper. You’re afraid to let go of the strap in your teeth.
“Hang on! I’ll get you out. Just hold on tight and don’t let go!”
Yeah, like you were planning to release your death grip on the strap any time soon.
“PBBBHHHFFT!”
The human grabs the strap and pulls on it, lifting you out of the wawa and dangling you in the air. You feel sick as you spin around, floating in the air, jaw and teeth hurting from supporting your weight. The human raises you higher into the air, then reaches out and grabs you by a weggie. It hurts, but you don’t care. He lifts you up and sets you on the bridge, when you collapse, shaking, and spit the strap out.
“There you go, little guy. You shouldn’t play around the drainage ditch, it’s dangerous.”
You look up at him hopefully. If he’s nice enough to rescue you, maybe…
“Nyu daddeh?”
“Oh, hell no. Last thing I need is a couple fluffies in the house. You guys stay out of trouble and don’t play near the ditch anymore, ok?”
You nod, grateful and exhausted, and lay down. Your heart is racing in your chestie, thumpthumpthumpthumpthump. You feel like making sickies.
The human rubs the dummy fluffy’s head and walks away. The dummy, still with one eye pointed the wrong way, looks at you in concern.
“Fbwend?”
You hug him and he squeaks in surprise.
“Yeh. Fwend.”
After a while you let go and lead him away from the bridge before disaster strikes again.
“Tum on, fwend! We fine nummies and wawa!”
“Yaaaaay! Hurf-derf-PBBBLT!”
wonder where they go next
