Chapter 3:
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
You are Theo.
And you are currently trying to help the vet bathe your new fluffy.
“WAWA BAD!!! WAWA BAD!!!” Hazel repeats robotically, at the top of her lungs.
Sophia tries her level best to get the struggling feral into the basin sink, only for her hooves to meet the metal rim at every possible angle. Your attempts to assist have done nothing but teach you that feral fluffies are shockingly strong. “Milkie weight my ASS, that’s solid muscle!” you grunt.
“Okay….” she grunts, gritting her teeth. “Plan A….not working!”
“SCREEEEEEEE!!!”
“Good god! I didn’t think fluffies could MAKE sounds like that! I thought she was okay with this!?”
Sophia lifts Hazel away from the sink, and sets her on the countertop. Hazel does not move, screaming “WAWA BAD” over and over again. She wipes her brow. “Oh, she was. This is kinda complicated. Watch this!”
She snaps her fingers in front of Hazel’s face, and something clears in the fluffy’s bright green eyes.
“Nice Wady! Hazew hab baff now?” She asks, all smiles, her tail wagging.
You stare for a long moment. “What. The. Entire. Fuck?”
Dr Clarke smirks. “This happens sometimes.” she says, putting a hand on Hazel’s back and scratching. “So, you know how fluffies were created as a sort of living toy?”
“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know all the details, but Hasbio engineered them, right?”
She nods. “That’s right. well…. they programmed them with some instinctive behavior. It’s how they can speak, why they always seem to love babies and hugs and spaghetti….it’s also how the mothers know how to sing to their babies.”
Hazel looks at you both, seemingly mystified at your conversation. “Wan heaw mummah songs?”
“Not right now, Hazel, sweetie.” Sophia said. “Well…… Hasbio also realized fluffies can’t swim. So they programmed in an innate aversion to deep water. But they screwed the pooch on it. Fluffies were terrified of all water. Now…. the programming for less important stuff like that, it gets eroded a lot.”
It clicks to you. “But Hazel’s got the original version.”
She points at you, still panting. “Exactly. She’s still got the original gene. Her genetics must be from some of the original ferals, with only a little bit of house-fluffy in her.”
“That is……profoundly screwed up.”
“You have no idea. You should see how horny some of them can be. You lucked out, this one also doesn’t spray shit on humans.”
Hazel tapped a hoof on the table. “Hazew hab question.”
“What is it?”
“Wat am “Spwaying shit?”
Sophia comes in with the save. “Sorry Poopies.”
“Oh. Hazew no wike do dat, onwy eba do wun time to munstah who twy to make Hazew nummies! No smeww pwetty, no wan do ‘gain.”
“So is she aware of what she was doing just now?”
“No.”
“Hazew do someting?”
“Holy…… That’s fucked, Doc.”
“Tech.”
“Whatever. So what do we do here?”
“Well…. I have a leg board, I’m gonna put it on Hazel, and then just…bathe her. She won’t remember it, but she’ll be clean!” Sophia said, bending to open a cabinet under the sink.
You look at Hazel, trying to parse the information you’ve been given. Fluffies had biological programming? Like a computer? But they were living things, right? Or….?
You decide to ask while she rummages around. “So….Fluffies are ALIVE, right? They’re not some sort of weird bio-mechanical thing?”
“Hmm? Oh yeah, they’re animals. Well not legally, but practically speaking. They need to eat, drink, and sleep, they’re made of flesh and bone like any other living creature. Well except Jellyfish. And Coral. And……you take my point.”
“Yeah, yeah. So why do you insist on being called a tech if you consider them animals?”
“I worked damn hard to get degrees in Fluffy maintenance, husbandry, and anatomy. I will not be given the wrong title after all that.”
You nod, though she can’t see that. “Makes sense. So what’s this-“ She stands up, holding a plastic board with 4 large holes in it, and a series of slots along the middle.
“Okay…. Hazel, would you please put your legs into the 4 holes for me?” Sophia asks, setting the board next to her.
The fluffy eyed it skeptically, and poked it with a hoof. “Wat it do?” she asks.
“It keeps your legs from moving while I do something very important. It will only be for a second, you might not even remember having it on, I promise.”
“……Daddeh?”
“Yeah, Hazel?”
“Am Nice Wady good hooman wike you?” she asks.
“Yes, she is. She’s your friend, Hazel.”
“Otay. Hazew do cuz daddeh say gud. Hazew wiww twust nice wady.” She says, stepping into the holes. Sophia pulls the board up, and pushes it together slightly, something clicks, locking it into place. “You okay, Hazel?” She asks.
Your fluffy pouts. “No wike not moving weggie ting, do ting fast.” she says.
You step forward “Once more, into the breach, Tech.” you say, picking up Hazel and lowering her into the warm, soapy water.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Over the cacophony, you can hear the foals peeping in fear. They only know their mom is upset, and cannot see as they have yet to open their eyes.
“Hold her still!” Sophia barks, grabbing the tap and pulling it free on a long, flexible hose. “WAWA BAD FOW FWUFFIES! NO WIKE! NO WIKE! WAWA BAD!! WAWA BAD!!!” Hazel squeals as she’s hosed down and scrubbed with baby shampoo. The water and suds run black with dirt and grime, chunks of matted fluff coming loose, pieces of bark, dried leaves.
“Holy shit….” You mutter, astounded by the amount of dirt on the small creature. “Yeah, some of it is.” Sophia says dryly. “Done with the top, flip her over.”
You wordlessly comply, and understand the slots are to let the water through. “Make sure you keep her above water!”
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
———
Hazel, soaking wet and catatonic, free of the leg board, is plopped onto the counter, and Sophia tosses you a towel. “Dry you fluffy.” she says, changing her rubber gloves and plopping onto her stool, looking at the foals before gently picking the white one up and holding her over a metal dish while she rubs it’s tiny belly
You begin to towel off Hazel, and before long she seems to snap out of whatever the water programming does to her. “Hewwo Daddeh!” She says, shaking like a wet dog. As she dries, her fluff poofs out. “Hehehe, Hazew am extwa fwuffy fwuffy!”
“She really doesn’t remember…”
Sophia looks up from the foals. “Not at all. Her mind seems to have kicked back online when you toweled her off.” She says, looking back at the foals. “You know, I’m surprised she kept this little brown one.”
You begin to brush Hazel’s fluff, smoothing her coat down. “Why so?”
“Usually, they reject brown foals as “Poopie babies.” and either stomp them, or leave them to starve to death.”
“Hazel’s brown, though?” you mention.
Sophia shrugs. “Hazel, what was your mom like?” She asks, stroking the brown foal’s tiny belly. He peeps happily. “Cute little guy….”
Hazel looks nostalgic, and happy. “Mummah hab pwetty white fwuff, was bestest mummah, gave huggies and wub and miwkies and sing mummah songs. Daddeh was Smawty for hewd, take good cawe of hewd and find safe pwaces to sweepie and bestest nummies. Wub mummah and babbehs vewy much. He had nice bwown fwuff, wike Hazew, he caww Hazew “Daddeh’s wittew eawthie babbeh.” Wub mummah and daddeh vewy much, want to see dem again, show dem pwetty babbehs!
She nuzzles her head into your palm as you pet her on the head. “Wub petties.”
You look at Sophia, who shrugs. “Good parenting is everything, as you can see, bring her back to her babies, and we’ll get them vaccinated.”
You pick her up and carry her back to her babies. “BABBEHS! MUMMAH AM BACK! MUMMAH SMEWW PWETTY!” She says, snuggling each of her foals.
“What were you doing over here?” You ask Sophia. She looks up at you. “Venting the foals.”
“Beg pardon?”
“Making them poop. Into the bedpan.” She says, gesturing to the metal tray, as if it’s the most mundane thing in the world.
You stare. “Uhm….why?”
“So they don’t dump ass onto your freshly bathed fluffy. If a baby has to poop when it’s in this phase, and they happen to be on the mother’s back, they’ll poop right on her. That’s part of what we washed out of her fluff.”
You look at Hazel. “You let them poop right on you?” You ask. “Yes. Hazew no mind, Babbehs am just Chiwpie babbehs, no know bettew, can’t use weggies yet. Dey wiww use wittabocks at nyu housie when open see pwaces!” She says, nodding happily.
“Her level of forgiveness is impressive. I wouldn’t let anything poop on me.” you say.
“Yeah, she’s a good mom.” Sophia says, pulling out a small pack of boxes, and opening them to show plastic dropper bottles of pink fluid. “All in ones. Basic vaccine courses for chripies. She opens a larger one, about twice the size, though still small. “Adult size.”
You look nervously at the foals. “You….you can’t mean injecting those little foals…… They’re too small, she won’t even let me hold them yet, they’re too delicate.”
She looks at you, and begins to laugh. “INJECT? No, heavens no! These are ORAL vaccines, Theo! Like the polio ones you and I had as kids, if you remember that? They drink this, it’s bubblegum flavored. I’d never put a needle into a well-behaved Fluffy unless I had to, let alone a Chirpie that was, at best, born 2 days ago.” She shakes her head. “I’m a Fluffmart care technician, no matter how stern I have to be now and then, I do love Fluffies, and I’d never hurt them. You have to trust me more than that, I’m going to be providing medical care to your new friends here for the rest of their lives.”
She approaches and holds out a pink vial to the white foal. “Open up, little one, I have a tasty treat for you!” she coos. The baby opens it’s mouth and sucks on the nozzle of the vial, and she gentle squeezes the pink liquid into it’s mouth. The tiny filly cheeps and peeps happily, then lets out a sad noise when the bottle runs empty.
“Vacc-sheen am tweat?” Hazel asks. “Yes, it tastes very good, and keeps you and your babies from getting worst sickies.” Sophia says, gently administering the liquid to the other two foals. She brings the bigger bottle to Hazel. Your fluffy opens wide, and lets her squeeze the vaccine onto her tongue.
“GOOD DWINKIES!” Hazel says happily, guzzling it down. She frowns when it runs out. “Vacc-sheen done?”
“Fraid so.” you say, stroking the Tri-Colored foal. You’ll not play favorites, but you do like this one the best, she seems a bit more alert that the others, and doesn’t startle when you pet her.
Sophia claps her hands. “Okay, so you want to just pay now, or would you like to get some supplies first?” She says, with a somewhat underhanded looking smirk.
You sigh. “Supplies….” you say, realizing it’s best to get out of the cold examination room after having just been fleeced.
You pick Hazel back up, her babies peeping and chirping on her back. “I’m gonna go get a cart….” you say, carrying your fluffies out of the medical room. You set her into a cart, and begin to wheel it around. She helps you pick things, both for herself and her babies.
3 Extra warm and soft mega-cuddle stuffy friends.
3 super-comfort binkies.
2 fluffy beds, Extra large, built in heating and easy-clean covers.
1 Extra large Fluffy safe-play pen with floor mats.
1 medium bag of Mega-Mummah extra nutritious, extra tasty berry flavor. You figured she’d prefer fruit to skettis.
1 medium Bag of EZ-Chew Foal kibble, milk flavor.
1 large bag of Happy-Belly, no mess kibble, fruit flavor. Supposedly, this helps their digestion and minimizes mess.
2 Balls. You’re told fluffies love these.
1 set of fluffy safe, EZ-Clean Blocks.
1 “Little Dancie” fluffy-sized xylophone. The white one likes to dance, maybe she’ll like making music too?
1 EZ-Clean, extra large, extra comfy litterbox.
1 Sorry Box. Doubt you’ll need it, but you never know.
1 soft-grip leg board, just in case you needed to bathe them yourself.
1 at home care Fluffy first aid kit.
and 1 copy of the “Big Book of Fluffies, care, control, breeding, and more.”
Hazel appraises each item in turn as you deposit it, and occasionally asks you to pick a different one. You’re not sure what actually motivates her choices, but she regards each item carefully before “approving” it.
You go to the front counter, and begin using the self check out. You notice Sophia has applied her fee.
50 Dollars.
“That’s it?” you wonder aloud.
Hazel looks up at you “Hm?”
“Nevermind……my day just keeps getting better, is all. You must be my lucky Fluffies!” You say, patting her on the nose.
“YAY, an Wucky!” she says, tapping her hooves together happily. “Hazew and babbehs go to nyu housie now?” she asks, looking at your brightly as you cart your things to the truck. “Yep. New home time. I don’t have a proper saferoom, I wasn’t expecting to have a bunch of Fluffies, but I bought you a safe pen to stay in until I clear out the spare bedroom. You don’t mind too much, right?”
She thinks for a moment… “Pen be in housie? Wawm and safe for Hazew and Babbehs, with nice Nyu Daddeh and huggies?”
“Of course.”
“Pen gud, den!”
She takes her place on your passenger seat and happily wags her tail as you start the truck, resuming her noises. “Let’s go home, Hazel.”