Strawberry was going to be the best mummah ever! Her Mummah had been such a dummy telling her she couldn’t have babbehs, so Strawberry had run away and found the prettiest special friend she could.
Strawberry knew her babbehs would be as pretty as her and her special friend, with luscious red fluff that looked just like strawberries. There was no way poopie babbehs or munstahs would get into her tummy and even if they did she’d just stomp them so they couldn’t steal milk from her good babbehs.
“Speciew-fwiend, come wook! Found nummies!”
Strawberry perked up, that was the sound of her special friend Cocklicious! He’d found nummies!
She trotted over and saw he’d found a broken board in a fence and squeezed through. Already starting to swell up with babbehs, Strawberry barely managed to get inside. Then she saw what was inside and forgot about her momentary discomfort (and since fluffies are whiny bitches that’s saying a lot).
“GASP! STWABEWWY-NUMMIES!”
Big red shiny nummies were hanging off a plant. Strawberry was so happy! This was the best day ever! She gave Cocklicious bestest huggies and then tried to decide which strawberry to eat first.
Cocklicious graciously scrambled off to the far side of the garden to find other nummies. Which meant Strawberry couldn’t hear him when he began screaming, too intent on taking her first bite of the bright red things that she’d learn in a moment weren’t strawberries.
…
Greg Darkhope wouldn’t call himself a farmer, but he did sell the plants he grew in his garden.
Right now he was talking with a friend of his while listening to the screams of the pair of fluffies who’d been eating his produce.
“Yeah, you’re right. Carolina Reaper peppers DO look kind of like strawberries.”
“Yup. Only these ain’t Carolina Reapers. They’re descended from them, but I done cultivated them myself.”
“How are they different?”
“They’re WAY hotter. I call them ‘Carolina Rapers.’”
“Because of the heat?”
“And for other reasons.”
…
Cocklicious screamed as he was violently sodomized by a mutant pepper plant.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEE!!! NU AM MAWE!!! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Then a Carolina Raper pepper was shoved in his mouth and he died in agony.
Strawberry had taken a bite before getting grabbed, but somehow managed to get some words out.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! AM MAWE!!! Su Stwabewwy can hab speciew-huggies dat way but dey am bad fow tummeh-babbehs du tu Stwabewwy being soon-mummah. Su pwease nu put meanie-thing in Stwabewwy’s speciew-pwace pwease. SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
The pepper plant instead chose a different point of access.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEE!!! NU PUT IN STWAWBEWWY’S POOPIE-PWACE EIDEW, DIS AM TECHNICAWWY NOT DISAWWOWED BUT STWABEWWY NU WANT DIS EIDEW!!! SCREEEEEEEEEE!!!”
But her protests were to no avail and the fucked to death/poisoned with capsaicin corpses of Strawberry and Cocklicious would fertilize the garden.
…
Across the street a feral light blue pegasus with a yellow mane was trotting along. He felt wind in his fluff, looked up, and was sucked up into a strange thing that looked like a flying saucer by a mysterious dust devil before it flew back up into the clouds.
Greg and his friend looked at each other.
“You see that?”
“Nope.”
