Greg, Justin, and their longtime friend Mary were walking down the street when they heard annoying shouting coming out of an alleyway.
“Dummeh hoomins! Gib sketties ow get owies!”
A red and yellow striped unicorn fluffy was glaring at them.
Mary stepped forwards.
“Don’t worry, I’ll handle this. You just need to put fluffies in their place.”
“GIB NUMMIES AN HOMESIES AN TOYSIES AN-”
Mary stomped her foot, startling the fluffy.
“No.”
The fluffy didn’t know what to say next. It had made demands and yet it didn’t have what it had demanded.
Mary cleared her throat.
“You’re a bad fluffy. You’re the worst fluffy ever in fact. You’re lower than shit.”
The fluffy started twitching as comprehension of what Mary was saying finally dawned on it.
It’s sense of self collapsed, it’s ego imploded, every good memory became merely another cruel lie as it being the worst fluffy ever (worse than even poopies!) became the central fact of it’s existence.
As what passed for the fluffy’s brain started burning out from the amount of anguish and self-loathing that now filled every part of it the rest of the fluffy’s body began breaking down as well.
Bloody foam poured out of the fluffy’s mouth right before it’s legs popped off one by one like corks out of a bottle. It released both it’s bowels and it’s bladder, mixing in a horrific-smelling puddle behind it that along with it’s body formed a frowny face.
The fluffy only had enough time to say ‘wan die’ once before with an electrical popping sound sparks flew out of it’s ears and ignited it’s fluff.
Greg and Justin looked down at the slowly burning fluffy and then back up at Mary.
Mary shrugged and the three friends prepared to walk away.
Unfortunately Greg stepped wrong and glitched through the ground before clipping around wildly and ended up thrown 100 feet in the air before crashing back into the ground.
Mary and Justin merely shook their heads in disappointment before floating upwards at a 45 degree angle while singing Nickelback’s greatest hits.
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Author’s note: No, YOU are on drugs!
