The news program begins without an intro. Standing behind a tiny, cute desk are two fluffies. One is a pink and red mare with her an elaborate looking updo, the other is a dull tan and white stallion which has had a pair of serious looking glasses put onto it’s face.
“Hewwo ebby fwuffy! Dis am Cozet….” The mare, Cosette, gives her best smile to the camera though she isn’t facing it perfectly.
“An’ Powsimin!” Chimed in her co-star, Persimmon. The stallion stamped a hoof down on a stack of important looking paperwork. “Dis Fwuff Teebee News!”
The broadcast immediately cuts to footage of a fluffy standing in front of a pile of wreckage. Any human viewer of the program will note that it’s a recent earthquake from a place they can’t pronounce the name of.
“Hewwo! Dis bewy huwty tiem ‘foh wots ob mummahs ‘n daddehs.” Said their apparent field reporter, watching as a group of humans sifted through wreckage for any signs of their loved ones or called out that they needed water. “Pwease gib teebee gud huggies ‘n wub so dey feew happies.”
It cut back to the news room. Persimmon was munching on the paperwork he’d been stamping on but Cosette was ready to continue the news. “Bestest compenny Hasbio…uhmm…wots of monies! Wook!” She pointed above her with one hoof as a graph appeared on screen showing an obviously doctored stock report for Hasbio where it seemed they made more money than anyone else.
“An…awso…am wittew chirpy babbehs habin’ bestest miwkies?” She said in a grave tone to underscore what was coming next. A photo of a non-Hasbio produced bag of kibbles was shown on the screen with a graphic of crying chirpies next to it. “Cozet hewd dat dis nummies am su bad! It gibs bad miwkies an…WOWSTEST huwties to wittew babbehs.”
Just then dazzling lights began strobing in the studio and confetti fell down from the ceiling. A bunch of foals ran into frame. Persimmon finally spit out the papers he’d be numming on. “Oh! Is babbeh dancin’ tiem!?” He asked as the camera focused on the cute little gremlins dancing their hearts out. Persimmon joined in on top of the desk, but not Cosette because she was a professional. Finally after they had danced their hearts out, the foals were shooed out of the room and flirty music started playing.
“Naow am tawk abou’ speciaw huggies so nu babbehs watchy, pwease.” The two news anchors stared at the camera for a few seconds, and then started babbling about special huggies and how to get the stallion or mare of your bestest dreams.
*FluffTV has been voted ‘Most Trusted News Source’ nine years running since it’s inception
