“Hmm… Alright. The yellow baby can be called Dandelion, the other can be called Whitney, the blue one can be called Luna and the last can be called Zephyr. How are those, Yellow?”
“Yewwow fink dat mummah am bestest at gibing namesies! Eben bettah den Yewwow’s mummah! Fank yu!”
“No problem at all. Now, Everyone!”
The fluffies are all gathered around you in miliseconds, even the foals, though it takes them some time to crawl to you. They seem to not only have heavily dialated nostrils but also seem to be droolin, mumbling about a “pwetty sketti smeww”. Huh, you kind of intended the spaghetti dinner to be a surprise. Oh well.
“Seeing as Tater seems to be settling in well among you, and nobody has been mean to him yet, I decided to treat you all to my mother’s old recipe.”
A deafening round of applause fills the room, gracefully short (you don’t want to piss of the neighbours). As you grab the recently emptied trough and fill it with the spaghetti, you make sure to note how they behave around it. Whilst doing your research on these lil goobers, you found a site that gave you a good behaviour test to use called the “Wolfram Method”. The original version only worked for foals, though, so you tweaked it a bit to suit your needs. Where in the original test you’d need to tell them to not eat the spaghetti, here all you need to do is have them take timed turns. You figured that there was enough for everyone to be able to get a thirty second fill, and so you’ll give them precisely that amount of time each to eat. Of course, you’ll allow Yellow to eat a bit more; she needs enough for her babies, after all.
After explaining the rules to them and using a random name selector website to decide a turn order, you’re ready to start. First up is Yellow, who practically sprints up to it, and begins to gulp down that fluff as if it was you at a party. You’re sure she’d be thanking you if she didn’t have… 5 seconds left. Huh. That was quick. Oh well, NEXT!
After Yellow is Royal, who was right behind Yellow the entire time, cheering her on. Immediately, he dunks his head into the bottle as if he was bobbing for apples at a halloween fair. As he’s eating, you think you see Yolk taking a bite, though it turns out she’s just waiting, mouth open. You think this is the most strategy you’ve seen a fluffy deploy, period. Tater, meanwhile, almost manages to get away with slurping a single noodle, which he knows halfs the amount of time he has to eat it (it might seem like he’s getting off easy, but come on. This test is like dangling a wad of cash worth one million dollars in front of a child).
Royal’s time with the spaghetti comes to an end, with Yolk immediately slamming her mouth closed, snapping up a hefty number of noodles at once. Darn. She’s noticeably more neat with her eating yet you’d think she was at an eating contest. After a while, her time with the spaghetti ends and Tater finishes it up in 10 seconds. Huh. That’s… fast for a fluffy. Oh well.
“Fank yuy fow da sketty nummy game, miss Wose…” Royal yawned, practically rotund with the amount he ate.
Currently, the fluffies are all cuddling together gently with eachother. Yellow has layed on her stomach and is letting her foals like away at the sauce stuck on her cheeks, mumbling about “bestest miwkies fow bestest babbehs”. The others are mainly just playing with simple toys like the block in their food enduced daze, with Yolk and Tater snoring away in their own break-off hugpile. The little goober apologised earlier for eating out of his turn without you having to discipline him. Mentally, you note to check out Friends of Fuzz again later on.
“Miss Wose?” Yolk mumbled, her voice fatigued yet joyful.
“What do you need, Yolk?”
“Wan’ babbehs pwease. Wib Tatew. Tatew gib bestest heawt happies an’ huggies.”
That’s quick. Might as well take the chance whilst you have it.
“Alright. Tater? You ok with that?”
“Mhhh- Wha? Uh, Tatew wan happiest babbehs wib pwettiest mawe to ebah pwetty, pwease!” He announces, partially awake.
Yolk whines with joy at that compliment, wrapping her hooves around him whilst nuzzling his cheek.
“Yowk wub 'ou bestest, speshul fwen…”
“Tatew wub 'ou too!”
“So, uh, wanna do it now, or later?”
Yolk takes the time to think, moving hoof to her chin.
“Wha’ yu wan do, speshul fwen?”
“Tatew wan make speshul huggies nao! 'Ou wan dat, Yowk?”
Well, it’s a good thing you have a broom closet…
Drowning out the muffled sounds of hot, sweaty, steamy stallion on mare action with some Careless Whisper, you do a quick check on all the foals. Currently, Zephyr seems to be attemting to stand to no avail, always falling over again when he’s one hoof into the process. Dandelion is currently licking Whitney clean, either trying to get some of that spaghetti sauce or just show love for her sibling, whilst Whitney herself is just hirping and cooking in content. Luna, however, is chirping like mad, which is causing Yellow to feel some distress.
“Why Babbeh Wuna make scawdie chiwpie? Is Babbeh awwight? Babbeh otay? Miss Wose! Babbeh scawdie! Babbeh scawdie!”
“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. Has she been fed recently?”
“Mummah jus’ gib babbehs miwkies erm… wun… two… fwee… f… f… a wong time ago! Aftew sketties!”
“Alright… Did you give her hugs at all?”
“Onwy widdlest hugs fow da widdlest babbehs! Nu wan babbeh to go foweba sweepies! Nu wan Wuna be wike pwetty wed ow odda bwoo ow shineh babbehs!”
“Ye- Yellow. Look at me.”
Yellow turns to you, looking panicked despite her lack of tears.
“I’m going to call Paige and ask her for help. I just need to know, what do you mean by Shiny?”
“Sh-Shineh babbeh’s fwuff spawkle gentwy wike gwitter when dawk times come…”
“… Alright, hang on. I’m going to need you to be strong and let me know if Luna pukes or anything bad like that. Alright?”
“O-Otay… Wewwow be stwong fow babbehs.”
“Aight, what happened? And why can I hear fuckin’ Geroge Michael?”
You cough slightly, readjusting the cable phone so it isn’t positioned uncomfortably.
“Yolk’s currently getting studded by Tater, and I don’t want to hear that.”
“One of Yellow’s foals keeps chirping in distress. Nothing seems to be wrong with them on the outside.”
You hear silence on the other end, putting the turning of some pages aside, until you hear Paige make a tounge clicking noise.[/color]
“Hmm… Try turnin’ that shit down.”
“The fucken’… what’s the word… music. Sorry.”
Confused, you reach out to your cellphone, turning the volume down a few notches. Immediately after, Luna calms down, still trembling like all foals do as she snuggles with Yellow.
“Miss Wose… Sabe babbeh?”
You cover the reciever for the cable phone.
“Paige told me how, I carried it out. I don’t think Luna liked the music very much.”
You practically hear Yellow sigh in relief, before she gives her baby a gentle lick on the head.
“Siwweh babbeh, gibbing mummah bigges’ scawedies wike dat.” Chuckles Yellow, her foal hugging onto her snout. You smile at the scene, before going back to the call.
“I turned the music down. The foal’s better now.”
“Mk. Good to hear. Were the other lil’ shit’s reacting like that too?”
“Nah, they were good.”
“That foal might have sensetive hearing, then. Y’know some rescue teams would pay a fuckton for a fluffy like that?”
“Yah. You wouldn’t believe the amount of fucken idiots who’d drown their stock 'cause of that.”
“Fuckin’ mills man. Makes ya wonder who they’re still operational.”
“… Why am I dissapointed yet not surprised?”
“Because you’re a fucken hugboxer?”
You stay silent, to which you hear a chuckle on the other end.
“Hey, Hey. Nothin’ wrong with that. Just pokin’ fun. Regardless, yea if any of the foals turn smarty you’ll need to despose of them in a way that won’t get ya arrested for releasing an invasive species.”
“Oh. Erm. Christ, I never considered I’d have to do that.”
“I’m willin’ to. Got a pet snake called Bababooie who loves gobblin’ up smarties. Only as a treat, tho.”
You feel some partial relief.
“Thanks. And also, ‘Bababooie’?”
“Yea, I know, I named him whilst high and the fucken name stuck. Now, unless ya got anything else I’m gonna go order food.”
“Shit, yeah, I do. Almost forgot. Yellow said that one of her foals in the wild ‘sparkled like glitter in the dark’.”
You think you hear the sound of something hitting the floor, before Paige speaks up again.
“Aight. Repeat that. Slowly.”
“Yellow said that one of her foals in the wild ‘sparkled like glitter in the dark’.”
“So. I want you to take your phone. And google ‘bioluminescant fluffies’.”
Doing as Paige says, you reach for your phone and exit youtube, just in time to hear the yelling of a mumbled “Good Feews!” You type in what she said to type, before hitting search. Immediately, you see breeding sights advertising them for… hang on, you think your phone’s glitching, it’s displaying a few too many zeros. Yeah, reloading the sight did nothing. Huh.
That’s not a glitch.
“Rose? Ya there? Hellooooooooooo?”
“Hi. Yes. Hello. Sixty grand for a brown coloured foal with bioluminescant sparkles. What the fuck.”
“Don’t swear. That’ll scare ya fluffs.”
“Sorry, I’m just. Wow. Fricking Wow.”
“Uhuh. Yeah, word of advice. If someone finds out, they’re gonna ask to buy Yellow, or her sparkly foals if she gets any. Don’t. Keep hold of her and any foals with that feature. Even if they offer ya thousands.”
“Erm, alright. Thanks for the advice.”
“No problem. I’m gonna order food and get high. Take care.”
You put the cable phone back, sighing. At least Luna’s ok. Getting up, you open the cabinet door, allowing Yolk and Tater to skip out into the central room and back into the fluffy pen. Yolk already as mumbling about her future offspring, and won’t stop asking Yellow questions.
“Wha’ do if babbeh is dummeh?”
“Dat one easy, just gib babbeh huggies until it go foweba sweepies, and know it nu Yowk’s or babbeh’s fauwt.”
“Otay. Wha’ if babbeh am hungwy fow miwkies and mummah am gibbing dem to oddah two babbehs?”
“Yu get Miss Wose to hewp ow make dem take tuwns!”
As they babble on, you flop onto the bed. To think only half an hour ago they were nearly in a food coma. Right now, you need to consider what to do next. You could wait until the foals grow up and start from there, you could try and get some stray foals and try raising those, or literally also do anything else. The next course of action is still up for you to decide…
NAME: Rose Abernathy
BREEDING BUDGET: $175
CURRENT HOUSING: Studio Apartment
FLUFFY BREEDING LOCATION: Studio apartment; a corner in the living room.
SKILLS: Engineering, Architecture, Can drink 9 1.5oz servings of 1910 Rye Whiskey and remain coherent.
AVALIABLE SPACE: Enough for 4 adults and 2 broods of foals.
AGE: 60+ Days
FLUFF COLOUR: Dark Goldenrod
MANE COLOUR: Red
NOTES: Mother of four.
ESTIMATED PRICE: [$4]
AGE: 60+ Days
FLUFF COLOUR: Royal Blue
MANE COLOUR: Dark Olive Green
NOTES: Used to be the herd’s second in command.
ESTIMATED PRICE: [$7]
AGE: 60+ Days
FLUFF COLOUR: Antique White
MANE COLOUR: Golden rod
MATE: N/A (Tater?)
NOTES: Used to be a fairly polite tuffie.
ESTIMATED PRICE: [$12]
AGE: 61 Days
FLUFF COLOUR: Dark Cream
MANE COLOUR: Spruce Brown
MATE: N/A (Yolk?)
NOTES: Has rare white spots! Very boisterous, and loves to impress.
ESTIMATED PRICE: [$29]
Ages: 5 Days (Nu-see Nu-tawkie Nu-Wawkie Babbehs)
- Dandelion, Dark Goldenrod Unicorn [$0.95]
- Whitney, Goldenrod Unicorn [$1]
- Luna, Royal Blue Earthie [$0.50]
- Zephyr, Sea Green Pegasus [$0.80]
How Long Until Birth: 0/14 Days
AGE: 60+ Days
RACE: Fluffy (Alleyway, Pegasus)
SKILLS: Can count to twenty, is able to read small words.
METHOD OF ASSISTANCE: Getting other ferals to join his herd, which you can choose from.
NAME: Paige Tan
RACE: Human (Biracial; Malaysian + American)
SKILLS: Rolling a good fat one, pricing, fluffy raising.
METHOD OF ASSISTANCE: Helping you out with selling your fluffies, along with giving you 10% of the profits she gets from Brick’s foals.
- Fluffmart Kibble™ [29 Days worth]
- Siwwy Sawwy Wawa Bottle!™ 
- Farmer Joanne Kibble Trough™ 
- Safety First! Inflataball™ 
- Fluffmart Individual Wooden Blockies 
- Ahuuser Inc. Sorry Stick Lite™ 
- Soft&Snug Budget Nestie™ 
- Fluffmart Litterbox™ 
- Fluffmart Paper Litter™ [29 Days worth]
- Safest Zone Divider™ 
Hey yall. For this one, I’m going to let yall decide what you want instead of voting on some choices I present. What you to do is submit a course of action (eg. going to the fluffmart and buying foal-in-a-cans to resell) into the comments, and the one with the most hearts will be done. Get creative, and have fun!