Let me take you down to the circus to see the famous Candy the fluffy clown. Who passes out balloons to small children in the audience and rolls around in laps on her ball. All while she doots her little horn to get giggles from the audience…yes. I have a clown problem.
Clown problem ?
As in they terrify you ?
As in I’m OBSESSED. 
That works too !
Clowns are pretty rad. When I was but a lad, I attended a class at the local YMCA taught by a certified Ringling Bros. clown. Nicest guy. Great teacher. Taught a bunch of kids everything from makeup application to juggling to balance and slapstick routines. I even learned how to ride a unicycle there. Good times.
I kinda miss my unicycle. I should totally buy a new one. Show up all these local hotshot skateboarders who think they’re hot shit.
honl
Me: Is america a joke to you?
Fluffy clown: ~honk honk~
Me: Based.
Do it.
Just for you, dude, I went and checked out a few dealers. Gonna have to do some more online shopping and digging. Amazon dorks are asking like 120+ for one. Fuuuuuck that.
I’m sure the demand for unicycles has driven prices to insane levels. (Facial expression of fuck that noise emoticon).
If I’m going to spend that kind of scratch, I’ll buy that discount banjo I’ve had my eye on so I can sit on my front steps and pluck away while giving locals I don’t like the ‘Purty Mouth’ stinkeye.
Not the “boy you sure done got a purdy mouth” one ?
