I wanna give a try in a Choose Your Own Adventure story. So tell me: what do you do \o/
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Ask where it’s mother/special friend is.
Ask if it’s missing it’s owner.
If not, see if it’s well behaved.
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I second asking where the mother is and I will follow this with great interest
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Ask for his name, if he has a name ask if he’s lost his owner.
If he doesn’t have a name, buy him some fruit for the road and make sure he doesn’t follow me
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I second this
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ask it if it enjoys tea, you see, this is a trick question, if it says it does then it is a filthy liar cause you can’t have tea as a feral, but if it says it doesn’t know what it is you must let it enjoy the greatness of tea, and give it a top hat, top hats are cool.
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Adopt them both! And if the male happens to know of more strays, adopt them too!
Give them a couple of weeks of good food, shelter, clean water, and anti-parasite medication.
Then let them join my private herd.
The male is getting up there in years so he’d probably get harvested soon.
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Shove a lit firework down its throat
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sorry, the dude is a 100% hugboxer
corrupt him slower
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i mean, if i did put a firework down its throat this would turn into a weirdbox, since the fluffy would have gained a weapon and would use it for great prejudice.
rocket launcher boi causes mayhen
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Hmm.
Say hello nicely. See what it says. I’d imagine if there’s anything of urgency it’ll say something. I’ll listen.
If it’s nice (which I’m sure it will be because @Booperino ) and didn’t have an immediate emergency:
A petting should make it happy and tell me if there’s a collar. Stroking it’s ears will let me see if it has an ID tattoo. If I can’t find with I’ll ask where is it’s mommy or daddy.
If it has an immediate, urgent issue then I’ll evaluate if it’s something I can help with.
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oh yes, you are also a weirdboxer. this complicates everything. we need a more carefully calculated plan
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Well, obviously stop and greet the fluffy.
Ask him who he is and what he is doing there.
Then, it’s up to the character. If he/she is a good person and can afford helping a fluffy, I’d recommend adopting them. If he cannot one a fluffy, bring them home and ask your friends and family if they can take care of them.
In the rare case the feral needs help but doesn’t want to go home with you, follow him and help him out.
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Im going to point a it and say, “fluffy”. Just how I point at cats and say, “cat” when I see them.
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Ask him if mummah is anywhere, then ask where their human mummah/daddeh are, if they have one.
If not, pick them both up, dust em off, carry the Fluffy bois home, my Ranch can always use more fluffies after all. 
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Look at the fluffies, arch a brow and say “Merp?”
It’s an interesting way to greet others and if they don’t respond with something equally odd they’re probably no fun. 
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Make it pay taxes. It’s a citizen of this nation and should pay its fair dues forward.
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Seeing the fluffy under the streetlight I warn them that shia lafluff has been spotted in the nearby woods. Due to risk of cannibal fluffy attack I invite them home for the night so I can send them away safely in the morning.
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Nooo! That would imply it has the rights of a citizen of this country! Whole sections of the fandom would collapse under the new legal reality,!
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all taxes are theft
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