Leaf was a fluffy.
A dark green and light green unicorn fluffy.
He was a feral fluffy who lived on the streets.
One day Leaf heard crying sounds coming from an alley.
“I am so sad!”
Trotting into the alley Leaf saw a shabby-looking human seemingly crying into his hands.
Leaf knew what he had to do.
The job of fluffies was making humans happy by playing, having babbehs, eating sketties, sleeping, and enjoying themselves and in return for these selfless actions humans provided fluffies with houses, sketties, special-friends, toys, and anything else the fluffies demanded.
Clearly this human was in need of a fluffy to make him happy. And then he’d give sketties.
Leaf trotted up to the human and got into the upsies position to give his leg a hug.
“Nu be saddies, nice mistah! Fwuffy am hewe tu gibe yu heawt-happies!”
The homeless man (because that’s what the human was) grabbed Leaf and began taking huge bites of him, ripping chunks of flesh from the fluffy’s body with his decaying teeth.
“SCREEE!!! NU AM NUMMIES! FWUFFIES AM FOW HUGGIES AND WUB, NU HUWT-”
Leaf’s protests were cut off by the homeless man eating his throat.
The homeless man eventually stripped Leaf’s bones bare and then cracked them open to suck the marrow out of them. He sighed and patted his stomach.
“Who says a free lunch doesn’t exist? Like all homeless people I love being a parasite on society and having your hard-earned tax money take care of me while I choose to not have a home or job. You should hate me for my laziness instead of pitying me.”
The narrator cuts in.
“To stop the homeless menace vote for Dr. Ricardo Guerra for mayor. He’ll round up those worthless poor people and send them where they can’t bother the monied classes.”