“Ma’am, are you the owner of Fluffy Fantasies Pet Shop?”
“Yes, why?”
The government agent knew she probably understood what was going on, but was required to explain the laws anyway.
"Have you been watching the news recently? The fluffy invasive species problem has gotten out of hand enough for the president to issue a state of emergency. Herds of fluffies are destroying farmlands overnight, city streets are full of ferals spreading diseases and foul smells, and the temporary ban on sale of pet fluffies begins tomorrow. "
“Has my shop been chosen for cleansing?”
“Yes I’m afraid. Project Redemption begins tomorrow as well. Shops and shelters are being selected at random to have their populations culled. Citizens are recommended to kill any ferals they find. They’re even offering cash rewards for killing large numbers of them. By the end of the project by this time next year, the US government hopes to have shrank the fluffy population down to only 1% of what it is now. You will be financially compensated for all fluffies lost, as well as any damage done to your store during the massacre. In the mean time, I’d recommend you start selling normal pets like cats and dogs for a while.”
The pet store lady understood the rules and got her things ready to leave for the party tonight.
~
The smell of fluffy piss and shit entered the nostrils of the three soldiers who entered the pet shop at midnight that same night. An audio wall of coos and squeaks and cute voices echoed down the hall of cages on display. The soldiers were all donned with gas masks, James was armed to the teeth with guns and explosives, Saundra had her trusty flamethrower, and David, being the up-close-and-personal type, had a variety of combat and throwing knives, a chainsaw, and a tazer.
“All right you two, you know the drill. There’s two other rooms in this shop. Saundra, you take the playroom on the left, David, you take the vet offices on the right. I’ll take care of the adoption room.”
James marched down the hall of caged fluffies asking if he was their new daddeh. He aimed his machine gun at the wall and started using the fluffballs for target practice. They barely had time to protest the scary boom stick before they were filled with holes
“Huhuhu, mummah nu wan babbehs tu gu fowevah sweepies! Pwease munstah nu-”
BANG BANG BANG
CLICK!
Out of bullets. The babies were dead, but the last mother still remained. He pulled her out, threw her to the ground and easily squashed her with his steel-toe boot.
After reloading, he aimed his gun at the next wall of cages and made swiss cheese oft of the fluffies there too. One bullet managed to only hit the lock on the cage, and the lucky pink stallion in the cage made a dash for a nearby air vent. James needed to reload again, but by the time the next magazine was loaded into place, the fluffball had already squeezed his pudgy body through.
In the play room, Saundra walked up to the foal pen where all the new babies got to know each other and make friends. They were all playing and running and eating and shitting like they usually do. One tap of the trigger on Saundra’s flamethrower and all the fluffies were drenched in burning napalm.
“BUWNIE OWWIES! SABE FWUFFY MUMMAH! NU WAN BUWNIE OWWIES HU HU HU!”
They stopped running and screaming after ten seconds and were smoldering piles of ash within a minute.
She opened the door to the adult play area to the sound of several of them shitting in fear. A few were already in the process of giving special huggies, as if we needed any more. Saundra tossed in a grenade and shut the door. A few of them curiously checked out their “new green ball toy” until Saundra heard the unmistakable BOOM. She opened the door and found the walls and ceiling painted with fluffy guts.
In the vet offices, David was having fun. Each door opened would reveal new cages and fluffies sitting around unexpecting a killer with a chainsaw and knives. The electric stun baton could stop a fluffy heart instantly, but what fun is that?
“Pwease nu gif fwuffy huwties! Fwuffy onwe wan huggies an-”
RUM RUM RUM
David carved the little fucker in half with the chainsaw
“Dummeh hoomin nu gif hewd fowev-”
STAB
The knife easily penetrated the soft fluffy skull.
“Hu hu, fwuffy giv up, jus git it ovah wif…”
David picked him up by his back legs and slammed him as hard as he could into a wall, splattering his brains everywhere.
David turned around and admired his work. There was blood leaking out of every room and down the hallway. Fluffy corpses and body parts were stacked high in the corner.
The soldiers regrouped in the lobby where they first began.
“Good work today, soldiers, only one escape this time. Lets get the cleanup crew here and get ready to move on to the next location.”
Just then they heard a banging sound coming from the wall on their left. The air vent at the top of the wall popped open and out came the pink stallion who escaped earlier, covered in dust and eyes adjusing to the light. He shaked his little head and sneezed.
“Smawty am awive? Smawty am otay! Smawty nu take fowevah sweepies from dummeh munstahs! Smawty can gu find mawe an gif speciaw huggies and haf babbehs an-”
James cleared his throat to make his attention known. Smarty turned around and was greeted by the soldiers he escaped earlier.
“Uh nu”
“Make that zero escapes, soldier.”
James pulled out his 357, took aim and gave the last smarty a gaping hole where his head used to be.