This time, on the Incredible Doctor Pol: It’s a fluffy pony extravaganza!
“Ever since they were invented, these tiny, fluffy pets have wormed their way into the hearts of millions, and when they are sick, they bring them to the incredible Doctor Pol!”
—
Camera cuts to an exam room, where a young man and woman wait patiently, a dull sand-yellow earth fluffy with a brown mane waiting apprehensively on the woman’s lap. Jan Pol enters.
“And who do we have here today?”
The owner picks the chubby fluffy up and sets him on the exam table, where he promptly tumbles onto his butt.
“This is WonTon. We bought him about six months ago as a foal, but for the last two or three days he hasn’t pooped at all.”
Doc Pol ruffles the fur on the head of the little creature.
“Well, we can’t have that, can we?”
The camera cuts to Doc Pol.
“Fluffy ponies have become very popular pets these last few years. We vet’s have all had to learn how to deal with their many problems. One thing to learn is that they are pooping all the time, several times a day at least. For this little guy to not have pooped these past days, something must be wrong. Luckily, we can ask the pet himself.”
“So, what is wrong, WonTon? You haven’t had any ‘poopies’ lately?”
“Nu, Mistah Pow. Won Ton nu hab any poopies fow many bwite times. Hab wostest tummy owwies, nee make poopies!” The tiny creature bleats, as the Doctor examines him.
“Well, your butt seems pretty impacted there, WonTon.”
Upon further examination, the colt’s anus seems rather stuffed with dried poop, clearly blocked up. The doctor retrieves a narrow irrigation syringe from the cabinet and fills it with saline.
“Won Ton nu wike pointy ting, pwese nu huwt WonTon?”
The fluffy tries to escape, but the doctor snags him, and the owners hold him while the doctor wriggles the long, narrow tip of the syringe past the blockage, and injects the saline into the fluffy’s colon.
“Huuhuuhuu! Won Ton nu wike icky tummy-wawa’s! Mistah gib tummy owwies!”
The fluffy boy wriggles with displeasure, and his stomach can be heard to gurgle loudly on camera.
“Now, we give it time to work, and then we see what can be done about your little blockage.”
A few minutes later, and the fluffy exclaims loudly.
“Owwie! Nee make poopies! Biggest poopies!”
“Okeydokey, here we go!”
The doctor grabs the fluffy and hoists him over the sink. He kneads WonTon’s lower body, pushing his thumbs downward towards the anus.
“Owwie, Owwie-ENGHHHHHH!” The fluffy cries and then strains heavily.
With an audible “ploop,” the hardened plug of feces pops free and a river of shit pours forth. Everybody in the room is seen to flinch and wrinkle their noses. The camera even dips for a second as the cameraman is overcome by the smell.
“Good heavens that stink! Nothing smells quite like fluffy poop, does it.”
“Fwuffy nu smeww pwetty, hab meanie tingie stuck in poopie-pwace.”
The brown-maned creature bawls, and the camera pans over to the foreign object trailing from his anus, smeared with all manner of feces.
“Holy Moses, what is that?”
Despite the fluffy’s protestations, the doc yanks the object clear of the fluffy with a gloved hand, a further river of awful diarrhea cascading forth now that the blockage is removed. The doctor washes it off carefully in the sink, to reveal a bright-red…condom.
“Why did you eat this, WonTon? This isn’t food!”
The doctor scolds the rodent, who responds despondently.
“Fwuffy am sowwy! Nu know stwawbewwy chewy-nummies am bad fow poopy-pwace.”
The camera pans to the couple, who have turned bright pink.
“Try to keep these kinds of things out of his reach in the future? Especially the flavored kind, haha!”
I’ve got more ideas for these little vignettes if people are actually entertained by them.
