Fluffy Pony Smarty Syndrome and How to Treat it (by ZealousBadIdea)

Fluffy Pony Smarty Syndrome, or FPSS as it will be referred to from now on, is an unfortunate condition that is not very well understood by the general populace. FPSS is a personality disorder much like sociopathy and psychopathy and is characterized by a fluffy being excessively demanding, overconfident, narcissistic, and aggressive. A Superiority Complex and a complete lack of empathy are almost always observed as well as an extreme selfishness. FPSS actually comes in two versions, True Smarty Syndrome and Acquired Smarty Syndrome.

To get the simpler condition out of the way, Acquired Smarty Syndrome (also known as Lesser Smarty Syndrome or Faux Smarty Syndrome) is a behavioral disorder that mirrors many of the symptoms of True Smarty Syndrome but is caused by things like spoiling a foal in the home or preferential treatment; this can be done by either the Fluffy mother or owners. It has also been observed in rare circumstances where an adult fluffy is given excessive praise or over indulgence of its ego. While presenting many of the same symptoms as FPSS, they tend to be less severe as in True Smarty Syndrome and the afflicted will usually not present such extreme behaviors such as rape or homicide. In addition, Acquired Smarty Syndrome can actually be treated relatively easily in most cases.

True Smarty Syndrome is an actual neurological disorder, similar in many ways to human conditions such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. However, unlike the mental conditions in humans caused by chemical imbalance or physical makeup, the unique nature of fluffies as bio-toys results in the condition being caused by the bio-coding in their brain expressing severe errors, even damage in extreme cases, that result in the afflicted fluffy having extreme non-neurotypical behavior. It is something a fluffy has from birth and can begin to manifest at any time, although it is more often first seen when the fluffy becomes a sub-adult. The condition is generally believed to be genetic in origin but it is also thought that an environment component may be involved as the offspring of smarties are usually smarties themselves but may never develop it or will only do so in specific environments. What ever its origin, True Smarty Syndrome currently has no known reliable means of treatment.

Both True and Acquired Smarty Syndrome has been observed occurring in subjects who experienced brain damage in the same area of the brain associated with naturally occurring FPSS. Certain parasites and diseases that cause encephalitis have also been shown to cause varying degrees of FPSS to manifest. FPSS seams to be far more prevalent in males and unicorns although female and other breeds of fluffies can be afflicted, although their cases seam to be less severe. It is unknown why unicorns are more effected although it has been theorized that since they have marginally larger brains than the other breads of fluffy, the extended growth processes of the brain may have increased the likelihood of errors occurring during initial lab development leading to FPSS which was then passed on to other generations and breeds through subsequent reproduction.

When it comes to identifying and diagnosing FPSS, the extreme anti-social behavior is a strong give away and the the Fluffy itself will always call itself a Smarty even if it has no herd to lead. It should be pointed out that if a Fluffy calls itself a Smarty, that doesn’t mean that it is one suffering from FPSS. If said Fluffy doesn’t also display the anti-social behavior, or at least not extreme anti-social behavior, it could just be an assertive Fluffy that wishes to lead others. This is a good example of a Smarty vs a Smarty Friend which will be explored in a later entry. True Smarty Syndrome can be identified in foals if they exhibit extreme bratty behavior apropos of nothing and even if they are not treated as the “bestest babbeh” by the mother or spoiled by the owner. In addition to the bad behavior, they will also start referring to themselves as the “bestest babbeh” on their own or, more often, will believe and start referring to themselves as the “smawtest babbeh” before eventually developing into them calling themselves “Smawty”.

Now, telling the difference between True Smarty Syndrome and Acquired Smarty Syndrome usually requires observing a fluffy from foalhood in order to see how it was raised and how it developed emotionally. True Smarty Syndrome will usually begin to manifest young and will be easy enough to spot in a well disciplined home as the foal will begin acting bratty even though it wasn’t spoiled. Without the benefit of watching a Fluffy from early foalhood, it becomes a lot harder to distinguish between True Smarty Syndrome and Acquired Smarty Syndrome. The only way to determine the difference is if rehabilitation is attempted, the details of which will discussed later. Fluffies suffering from Acquired Smarty Syndrome will eventually improve through treatment and may become fully functional companions again. A fluffy suffering from True Smarty Syndrome either will not improve or will very quickly relapse should any improvements be made.

When it comes to treating Acquired Smarty Syndrome, strict discipline, behavioral therapy, and even psychiatric care in some cases have been shown to be quite effective in terms of treatment. The most effective tested method for treating Acquired Smarty Syndrome, is to completely break down the Fluffy’s ego and self-confidence. This can be achieved through either physical degradation or physiological manipulation. Tricking the “Smarty” into performing rigged trials that it can only fail at coupled with mockery of their failure is proven treatment. Repeatedly demonstrating to the “Smarty” that it is not special in anyway, and is in fact inferior to other fluffies is a good psychological method. Subjecting the “Smarty” to mockery and derision from other fluffies is another effective method, especially when the subject is incapable of retaliation such as being placed in a Sorrybox . Once the subject is completely broken down emotionally, it is important to then slowly build them back up so they will begin to act like a normal Fluffy again; it should be noted that while they can be left in the emotionally broken state, they make for pore companions. A hard reset of the fluffy’s brain can cure it of Acquired Smarty Syndrome but doing so does still come with all the risks associated with doing a hard reset.

There are no know cures for True Smarty Syndrome as discipline, behavioral therapy, and psychiatric care have only been milady effective in the most minor of cases of FPSS and completely ineffective in all other cases. Hard resetting of the brain also proves to be ineffective in the case of True Smarty Syndrome as it doesn’t undo the underlying coding error, it only defaults the brain to a much earlier state. It has actually been demonstrated that a hard reset has the potential to exacerbate the condition. Present theory suggests that pharmaceutical treatments may be effective at combating or even eliminating True Smarty Syndrome however at present there are no lab studies going on to try and find such pharmaceutical treatments as simply killing the subject is often viewed as the far more cost effective solution.


Good stuff! It’s an interesting take on smarty syndrome. My take is that most fluffies tend to want to make humans happy, because that’s what they were made to do, and smarties, at least, bad smarties, are what you get when a fluffy goes the other way for any reason. Like, they might have been spoiled as a foal, or untrained, or maybe they’re just sociopathic egomaniacs. It can also be the result of a glitch in their hybridised genome. Or, in the case of the worst smarty in my headcanon, because he’s seen the dark side of humanity and wants to turn the tables. Of course there are also smarties, and fluffies in general, who don’t necessarily like or trust humans, but also don’t mind humans if they’re not harming fluffies. In my headcanon, a fluffy’s personality can be just as complex as a human’s, and they aren’t all hardwired to only crave huggies an wub like a fluffy hivemind. They’re part human, after all. Fluffies in my headcanon are completely capable of growing beyond their bioprogramming, it’s just that, like humans, some fluffies don’t want to better themselves, because they think they’re already perfect.