Fluffysitter's Oopsie(love2hatefluffs)

Fluffysitters should always keep a jar of both soothing cream and penis exploding cream nearby and easily discernable! You won’t know when you need one or the other!

I hate smarties so much sometimes I can’t sleep.

63 Likes

I have several question.

Number 1: Does keeping a Fluffy alive really involve almost jerking it off? Like if I dogsit for my neighbours and they ask me to wank it to sleep I’m calling some authorities.

Number 2: Who buys penis exploding cream and keep it close enough to the jerk-off cream to confuse the two? I doubt that was as much of a mistake as we’re being led to believe.

32 Likes

Smarty fluffies have been known to be irrational and misbehave in ways that can be self-harmful if not appeased

Penis exploding cream is a fantastic way for fluffysitters to offer a neuter service alongside their usual job! We just need to make sure we use proper care with it.

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“Dummeh hoomin, gib handiejob ow Smawty gun gib Smawtie sewf-huwties an bwame yu.”

As if Smarties couldn’t get anymore fucking toxic.

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Bad for the gene pool. Kill 'em all I say! Breeders will never learn.

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As a man, penis exploding cream scares the fuck out of me

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Proper labeling and care are importan!

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I wonder if it makes other things explode.

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I just assumed he had a rash or something and the owner was paying for the sitter to treat the rash-

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There’s an episode of American Dad where Rodger convinces Stan he has to relieve a racehorse’s “stress”.

In any case, you could probably convince a random fluffy owner that this is necessary for stallions that weren’t fixed and don’t have a mare for relief.

9 Likes

“Why not just get him a fuck-toy?”

“I don’t want to risk my special guy equating intercourse with inanimate objects, thus removing the connective aspect of the sexual act, meaning his emotional shortcomings will inadvertently cause a physical one, preventing him from being able to perform.”

“…He’s a Fluffy, he’ll fuck anything so long as there’s a hole.”

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J.D. Vance fluffy fucks a Sofa

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Gadzooks! This is a good idea for a gag. Roger as ‘Jeremiah Fluffenstomper: Private Fluffy Breeder’. His underground (illegal) fluffy operation is booming. Chaos ensues when Stan is sent to crack down on a local drug front which is revealed to be Roger’s heroin balloon-stuffed fluffies being sold primarily to bikers.

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I hate this creature so very much.

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pighorse handjobber is worst job

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“GIB CWEAMY-WUBS!!!
WUB cweamy-wubs!..”

Appreciate that you sold us the cringe AND the antidote ~ As far as the Exploding Cream… I’d be surprised if Amazon DIDN’T sell it already.

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Poor Scoob. He saw the void, and it looked back.

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It doesn’t say “FLUFFY Penis Exploding Cream”, so I hope that sitter washes his or her hands thoroughly before touching their own, or someone else’s, penis.

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hours later when the fluffysitter gets home

explosion SFX

“GOD DAMMIT WHY DID HE EVEN HAVE THAT STUFF!?”

6 Likes

Penis exploding cream sounds like an aperture science invention

6 Likes