(Well I lost too much time last night playing slay the spire and didn’t dig out my console. 
So today it’ll be more filler. Hopefully I’ll find time this weekend.)
(Also, misread ‘poo palace’ as ‘poo place’ xD )
These creatures entering your yard and garden had confirmed one thing for Klem and Earl, they needed to fix the fence. Earl stayed with the fluffies while Klem went to the shed to get out the remaining roll of chicken wire to patch the portions of the fence that were broken or loose since the fence posts were still fairly secure. One of the gates hinges had to be screwed back in but after that It closed and latched properly. The property boundary was now much clearer.
While Klem worked Earl set down the shovel by the railing. “I’ll be right back, don’t eat any tato’s.” He adds gesturing to the red plants before proceeding into the house. After digging through an old trunk labeled ‘scraps/mend’ you eventually pull out an old blanket with a few frayed holes but it would suffice for a pet blanket. As Earl exits the house he sees the smarty whispering in the mares ear with a hoof up as if to keep the conversation secret.
You laid the blanket on the railing and got a batch of dried grass from the pile. You occasionally use it to mix with other substances to spread across or mix in the soil but you’d be using it for a different purpose today. With a decent lump set out on the porch you grab the blanket and lay it on top. “There we go.”
The mare approached curiously. “Nyu nestie for Fwuffies?”
“That’s the plan girl.” Earl adds leaning over and giving her a pat on the head as she cooed contentedly. Klem noticed the smarty already pushing at the chicken wire and earl watched with a laugh as Klem chased the smarty around the perimeter fencing because of this.
“Got’cha~” Klem eventually adds overtaking the smarty as he picks him up and flips him over onto his back before lightly tapping the smarties belly. “Gonna pink dat Belly!”
“Pwease no swappy smarties tummy!” The smarty adds at first in a panic but realizes it’s not particularly intense and the complaints soon turn to a fit of crying laughter. “Stop pwease~”
“Right, don’t mess with the fence. No going outsigh’ witou’ yor daddies permissions. Understand?”
After a short bit to calm down the smarty rights themselves. “Smarty understand.” The bit of positivity quickly, evaporating like water through a Sieve. (even though water doesn’t evaporate through a sieve unless you put it over a boiling pan or something ; fuck you im keeping the analogy.)
Making his way over with Klem gave smarty enough pause to try not to sound overly loud and angry in tone. “Why nestie no in housie?” They added restraining themselves.
“The house is for people. Livestock lives outside.” Earl added in a matter of fact tone. “We’ll build something before the weather gets cold.”
“Just count yersell lucky ur’ on da porch. Odah’wise the molerats might just spring out of the dirt and~” as he said this Klems fingers stiffened as he pressed them into smarties back to accent his point. “GETCHA!”
“SCREEE!!” smarty panicked not knowing what was attacking them as they blasted a torrent of shit on and through the porch railings at their perceived attacker.
“Holy shit.” Earl added impressed.
“I very much doubt that Earl.” Klem added pulling out his handkerchief and covering his face.
“Ugghhh~gawd… Fair enough.” Earl added as the smell hit him and he backed up to catch some fresh air before doing the same.
“Speciaw fwiend, why ou’ make bad poopies!?” The mare added in surprise apparently not having seen what Klem did.
“Smarty no make bad poopies, dose scaredy poopies. ‘sides, smarty poop where smarty wan.” They added with a huff.
“Well I was gonna let you off the hook cause this is klems fault.” He adds squinting his eyes as Klem goes to get a bucket to rinse off the porch. “But we cant let you very well go shitting where ever you like.” Earl adds stepping off the porch and grabbing the shovel as they walk over in the direction of the out house and digs a shallow pit the fluffies could step out of if they fell in. “This here will be the place you poop. Poop anywhere but here and you’ll get a punishment that we decide on.”
“Wha’ if hab make poopies in dawk times?” The mare queries.
“Hmmm…” You didn’t normally go around lighting up your property at night and thought it’d be a waste of resources to hang a lamp or power something for that purpose.
“If it’s too dark.” Earl adds pacing back to the side of the porch digging out a slightly deeper pit and sawing out one of the railing supports. The fluffies sat curiously and commenting to eachother apparently entertained by human ingenuity. “Just poop over the side into the hole and we’ll move or bury it in the morning.”
“Gwad smawty thought of it.” The smarty added holding their head up high as if proud of themselves for stealing credit.
As if from the ether Klem apparated in toad stance next to smarty. “Wha’chu think of now~ boy?” Klem added menacing the smarty before turning them towards the hole as they let out another albeit smaller squirt of scaredy poopies.
“Geeze, how much poop they got in em’?” Earl added more concerned then confused.
“Smawty just tawkin bou’ how smawty poopies go through powch fencie earliew when get scawed. So smawty do fiwst.” They add assuming their act lead to earls inspiration.
“So ur’ saying you did it, on purpose den?” Klem’s eyes gleam hoping to catch the smarty admitting to wrong doing even if it was a lie.
“Dummie daddy, smawty say smawty hab bestest idea so smawty do!” The fluffy adds turning around and pushing their hoof into klems leg a few times for emphasis.
Earl sighs and nods. “Five switches for lying and five for bad poop.”
“Wahoo~” Klem adds picking up smarty and hauling them off to get the switch they used earlier as they kicked their legs futily and cried “Nuuuuu~”
“Soon Mummah sowwy speciaw fwiend am meanie…” The mare adds leaning against earl with a sigh. “Tings so much hawdew hewe den safe woom, dey get fwustwated.” They add trying to remember the special friend they loved back when things were good.
“Safe room huh?” Earl added rubbing the stubble of his chin contemplating where these things might have come from. “You willing to tell daddy about it?”
“~ . . .” The mare seems interested for a moment but their face goes slack for a moment as the institute programming finally kicked in. It couldn’t prevent them from subconsciously slipping up and mentioning certain aspects about their past but it kept them from consciously mentioning the name to those they did not recognize as members of the institute. “No tank ou’.” She adds before bwinking. “Wha’ was fwuffy doing?”
Earl was a bit concerned but this strangeness was very much beyond him. They’d probably need some sort of egghead to figure this out. Earl would have to put some thought into someone later.
“So,” Earl added how to bring something up tactfully. “fluffies make milk right?”
“Siwwy daddeh, ob course mummahs make miwkies fow babbehs.” She adds in a very matter of fact tone.
“I see. You willing to trade your milk?”
“Bu’ babbehs nee miwkies, pwease no steaw miwkies!” She adds backing onto the bed and taking a defensive pose.
This was certainly a lot more awkward then a brahmin but you hadn’t gotten one since the last one died of infection after they got riddled with bloatfly larva in the pasture before klem could save her. “If you don’t want to you don’t have to. We’d only ask for milk until the baby’s are much closer to being born and then you can keep it for your foals.”
“Weally?” She added with a sniffle.
“Really really. How about, we feed you one tato a day after they’re born for each day of milk you give us before they’re born?”
“Hmmm? . . Can mummah hab two tato’s? One for each miwkie pwace?”
Earl laughed a bit. “I think you’re starting to understand bartering.” He added with a grin. “Allright, one tato after each milking and one tato a day after birth.”
“Deaw.” As she said that she looked surprised as Earl stuck their hand out and paused pondering what to do but somewhat instinctually put their paw in the awaiting palm as earl grasped it gently and shook. “Deal.”
“I think i’ll call you… Bessie.” The mare looked elated.
“Soon mummahs name am Bessie!? Bessie wub name~” She was cut off by angry screeing as smarty came zipping over and flopping down on the bed after the final switch.
“Why Smawty no get namesie?!” They huff the last of their energy spent as they’re unable to keep up the bluster after all the punishment.
“Klem, I named this one. Wanna name the other?” Earl added looking at the elated red neck with a fresh glow about them. You had a feeling the smarty was going to be a bad influence on Klem. You brought him out here to keep him away from people to try and keep them from pulling shit on the wrong person and dying an early death.
“A’ight… I like Raider.” He smirks.
“Waidew? . .” The smarty contemplated the name but soon drifted off to sleep from pain and exhaustion with a slight smirk on their face.
