Wrote this whole thing just for the Harlan Ellison pun.
Fwuffy nu am cowd.
Fwuffy nu am wawm.
Fwuffy nu am nuffin.
Fwuffy nu knu how time been in nu pwacie pwace. Dewe nu am fwends o munstahs o hoomins o nummies. Dewe nu am nuffin bu’ Fwuffy. Nuffin huwt gud Fwuffy, bu’ gud Fwuffy nu hab nuffin tu huwt.
Am so wonewy.
Wong wong time ‘go, Fwuffy daddeh take Fwuffy tu nice doctah mistah. Doctah mistah am Fwuffy fwend and awways teww Fwuffy “Hewwo nice fwuffy, bewy cited tu see ou!” wen see Fwuffy. Fwuffy wub nice doctah. Wub bestes’ daddeh mowe doh.
Miss bestes’ daddeh su much.
Daddeh teww Fwuffy dat doctah take pwetty pitcha ub fwuffy and put in fun teebee pwace! Fwuffy fink dat is gweat finky-pwan! Bestes’ smawtes’ finky-pwan Fwuffy ebah heaw!
Nice Doctah put Fwuffy in meanie sowwy boxie, but teww Fwuffy am stiww gud Fwuffy. Sowwy boxie nu am fo’ make Fwuffy saddies, am fo take bestes’ pitchas of Fwuffy!
Den Fwuffy heaw bigges’ woudes’ noisie ebah heawd! Fwuffy am scawedy su Fwuffy cwose see pwaces. Su scawy!
Bu’…
huuhuuhuuhuuhuuuuu
Bu’ wen Fwuffy open see pwaces…
Nuffin.
Nuffin.
Cwose see pwaces.
Open see pwaces.
Stiww nuffin.
Sowwy boxie gone. Nice doctah gone. Bestes’ daddeh gone.
Fwuffy gone.
Fwuffy twy moob awound, bu’ nu can! Fwuffy fink weggies nu wowk, den wook down an’ nu habe weggies! Bu’ den Fwuffy see dat see pwaces nu wowk awso! Nu knu how knu, bu’ see pwaces open an’ see pwaces cwosed wook samesies nao fo Fwuffy.
Fwuffy scawed. Fwuffy wonewy.
Bu’ Fwuffy nu hungwy. Fwuffy nu tiwed. Fwuffy jus’ bowed an’ hab heawt huwties an’ bigges’ scawedies an’ nu fwends an’ nu daddeh an’ nu knu wat do!
Fwuffy nu can feew Fwuffy. Nu feew weggies o’ hoofies o’ bestes’ big fwuffy tummy o’ heaw pwaces o’ pwetty face! Fwuffy nu can du nuffin! Bu…bu Fwuffy su bowed! Nu can du nuffin’ but finky, and finky pwace am be meanies to Fwuffy wen Fwuffy nu hab nuffin fo finky pwace to fink ‘bout! Fwuffy wan’ caww fo’ hewp! Wan axe big empty nu pwacie pwace wat want fwum Fwuffy!
Bu’ nu can. Fwuffy nu can tawk. Onwy make saddes’ finky in finky pwace. Fwuffy nu hab heaw pwaces, bu’ stiww gotta twy wisten. Fwuffy nu hab smeww pwace, bu’ hafta keep twy smeww! Fwuffy nu hab see pwaces, bu’ awways twy see fings anyway!
Fwuffy hab nu tawkie pwace
But Fwuffy mus’ SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE