Games for dummehs 16: A place called paradise part 1 (by Ainbur)



Apple heard the familiar sound below him. He had to stop himself from laughing. Bubbles was really terrible at this game.

His leader struggled to his feet on the soft ground below them. “Bubbews otay?” Apple asked quietly.

“Am fine.” Bubbles said in a very angry voice as he struggled to return to the way out. At least with that Bubbles seemed skilled. It was weird to watch.

Bubbles was the 2nd smarty Apple had worked under. Apple had no love for his old smarty but he remembered him being tougher than Bubbles. He probably could have done this better.

Apple watched as Bubbles waddled through the yard. His pace was slow, but there was a nervousness about it as his head looked around the yard.

Eventually he arrived at the top of the ramp. Apple sat patiently waiting for him. The human had called this bridge 3. It was a lot like bridge 2 in that it was wide but got really thin at the end. This one got much thinner though, to the point where Apple had to walk weird toward the very end.

“Twy ‘gain?” He asked as innocently as he could, reminding himself of the human. He knew enjoying Bubble’s failure wasn’t a nice thing to do but Bubbles had made fun of him the first few times Apple had tried to cross the bridge to show the herd how it worked.

Apple thought Bubbles probably regretted that now. The bridge felt so natural to him now despite it being quite a bit thinner than the first one he’d crossed many bright times ago. He was far ahead of where Bubbles was.

“Dummeh. Ob cawse twy ‘gain.” Apple strutted out onto the plank. When he got about halfway he stopped and sat, probably to rest. The walk back wasn’t easy after do in it… more times than Apple could count.

Bubbles stood and took a few careful steps forward. His little leggies shook so hard Apple cloud feel it through the plank they stood on.

Bubbles was weak. Not just here, but all the time now. He’d shake when he thought no one was looking. He’d look around quickly after visits with his special friend Lily. Apple was starting to wonder why Bubbles was in charge of the herd. If he’d wanted, Apple was sure that he could have hurt Bubbles bad enough that no one would call him smarty ever again.

He wasn’t sure he had the desire to do so. The herd needed a smarty. Apple couldn’t do it. Leaf was too wrapped up in his family to do it. The other stallions were either too young or in the case of Smokey, way too old. He could maybe ask a few of the mares but having a mare as the smarty seemed silly.

Bubbles stopped, only making it about halfway to where Apple was. It was already at the part where he usually fell.

“‘Ou can du it.” Apple said, trying to reassure him. Bubbles glared at him. He took a few steps forward. Before long he was all the way to Apple. “See, towd ‘ou. Am easy.” It was. Bubbles just needed to ‘get it’ and things would be fine.

“Mobe su Bubbews can gu tu da end.” Bubbles told him in a shaky voice. ‘Oh, of course.’

Apple considered turning around but decided on something else instead. He did his new favorite… trick he think the human had called it. He walked backward to the end of the ramp and stopped halfway from where he was to the end. Bubbles was giving him a very not pretty look.

Apple wasn’t sure why he’d done that, or why Bubble’s not pretty look wasn’t scary to him. He’d never been very scared of Bubbles or his old smarty, but he couldn’t run away like before. He should at least be a little scared but right now there was nothing scary about Bubbles.

Silently his leader continued forward. Sure enough, he made the same mistake he always did, he looked down. A few not forevers later his body swayed too far to one direction and he was falling again. He landed softly on his back with a bounce.

His face looked panicked all the way down. When he came to a stop he righted himself. The frustration was clear on his face.

Apple had another impulse. He jumped down onto the soft ground next to him. He knew what this would accomplish. Bubbles bounced into the air with a quiet gasp.

After a little rolling Bubbles was on his feet and in Apple’s face.

“Dummeh! Nu du dat! Nu make Bubbews wook wike…” His eyes narrowed as he looked around the yard that neither of them could actually see. Apple didn’t hear anything. “Wike dummeh fwuffie. Wiww gib wowstest sowwy hoovsies.”

Apple knew it wouldn’t happen. They both knew that if they fought in this moment that Apple would have no problem hitting Bubbles until he took forever sleepies. What Bubbles might not have know was that Apple felt no desire to do it.

They needed a smarty. Still, he couldn’t resist egging Bubbles on. “‘Ou gonna du dat? ‘Ou am smawtie, ask Weaf o’ Shadoh?”

He emphasized the last word. It had the desired impact. Bubble’s eyes widened. Apple’s thinkie place was telling him this was a good thing.

Shadow was still missing. Apple was happy about that. He never liked Shadow, and his absence made Bubbles weak and easy to ignore. He could play all day if he felt like it. Nothing would happen.

Being a toughie was good, but he much preferred playing on the bridge with the others. He liked it almost as much as teasing Bubbles when he failed at it. It was a good thing Bubbles was bad at it or he might lose that.

Bubbles recovered and lifted his head. “Dis am obah. Nu nee’ pway bwidgie game. Am foh toughie, no foh smawtie.” He walked toward the ramp. He stopped. “‘Ou nu teww anyone dat smawtie nu pway dummeh game gud. Nu wan hawd tink dummeh toughts.”

“Otay smawtie Bubbews. ‘Ou am da smawtie.” Apple said with a laugh. Bubbles shivered and glared at him. His body was hunched again. It screamed submission, he was just begging to get hurties.

Bubbles looked like he wanted to say something, but simply turned and left.

Apple stayed on the soft ground for awhile before following. As he reached the top he looked over to where the hole they’d all come through was. He couldn’t see it. The soft ground was in the way.

He walked down the bridge and rounded the corner so he could get a view of it. Maybe if he were lucky, a better smarty would come find them so he wouldn’t have to wait for Violet or Vanilla to grow up. Neither of them had horns anyway. Not that that prevented them from taking on the position, but neither were very… smarty like. He did like both of them after all.

The gate remained motionless as he stared at it and he felt his ears droop.

What were the odds of a new smarty though? As the thought crossed his mind he saw the door move in the distance.

Apple heard the distinct sound of his own butt making scaredy poopies. When he felt empty, he looked back to survey the damage. Luckily he’d missed everything but the grass. It was unfortunate though. He liked the grass near the pool.

They didn’t even have a poopie fluffy to eat it anymore… Maybe he’d be able to ask the human for help. He wouldn’t mind working for it if he could get it back to-

Why was he thinking about that now? The door moved! Apple turned his head back to the door. He watched it for a few more forevers.

His mind raced with the possibility of what he’d just seen.

As the sun began to appear over the wall the door still hadn’t moved.


Blake loaded the car with his supplies. Today was the day. The big day. Today he would…. go grocery shopping.

That wasn’t the part that was important though.

The important part was that he forgot to block off the entrance to his yard fluffies from the rest of his yard.


“‘Ou commin’?” Apple yelled to Sunny as she tried to cross the bridge.

The hoomin had replaced the plank like Apple asked. Now that Bubbles seemed uninterested in crossing Apple had felt comfortable enough to ask for a new challenge. Though that had come after he’d asked the human with help for cleaning up his bad poopies earlier.

The human had been fine with both. He did it very fast too. Sometimes the human was just too amazing.

He also let Apple have a new addition to his bridge. A ball he could keep inside for fallen fluffies to play with. Though the human had laughed and told him to be careful about falling on his friends.

That was fine today. Apple had kept the ball a secret and only Sunny and Star were playing on it at the moment.

Sunny and Star were both really good at the bridge game. Not as good as Apple of course, but he believed that by the end of the next bright time at least, that they’d be able to make it across bridge 4.

They weren’t even toughies either. Actually, Leaf hardly ever played this game and he was a tougher toughie than even Apple was. Apple was really starting to question if this was a toughie game. If it wasn’t, that meant that Bubbles was even sadder than he’d already thought.

“Gah!” Sunny fell off the bridge. Star giggled from the starting area. Apple jumped down to her. He nuzzled her fluff until she got to her feet. Star jumped down as well. The three of them giggled as they bounced up and down.

It was great fun, but it was made even better when Star kicked the ball to Apple. He hit it with his head, an action that made the two mares giggle uncontrollably as he did so.

Unfortunately that left nobody to kick it back to him. That was fine. He could roll with it.

He tackled Star and they went rolling into the side of the soft groundie’s soft wall. After a moment Sunny leapt on the two of them.

When Apple went to take a breath he could smell the two of them. It held something familiar to the before times but it was so much better with the human’s nice water.

The three of them heaved heavy breaths as they rested from their frolicking.

Apple considered leading them back to the bridge, but another urge struck him.

He looked to Star, then Sunny. He decided that it was Sunny’s turn. He climbed atop her and she giggled as he did so.


“Dummeh hoomin.” Heart said to the only other member of his herd.

Rock snorted back at him quietly. Rock had just returned from his mission of scouting the house. They needed that house. The tree place was becoming unbearable. Just the other dark time Heart had seen something bigger than a barky monster walking around near him.

The sun had come up only a few not forevers ago. Rock had slept most of the bright time and hadn’t gone until far into the dark times. It had been hard sleeping during the bright times, but this mission had required it.

Heart eyed the house. The human had gotten into his vroom vroom monster and left a few not forevers ago. Heart wasn’t sure he wanted to risk the trouble later but as far as chances went, this would probably be his best.

“How ge’ in dummeh housie?” Heart asked in an anxious tone. He wasn’t willing to hear any ‘Can’ du’ words from his toughie.

“Dew am howe nea’ big white waww ting.” Rock responded. A dopey grin spread across his face. “Smeww pwettie smewws. Smeww wike mawe. Nu smeww stawwions.”

Heart had a hard time believing it. He hadn’t gotten close enough to inspect it. Rock could handle himself, but being so close to a potentially dangerous human wasn’t a very smarty thing to do.

He couldn’t be like that forever. The human had food and the house was probably warm. He’d restrained himself from the urge to go and other urges for the past two bright times. He was tired of doing that.

Why would a human be keeping a herd of mares? That would be silly. They couldn’t have babies if there weren’t any stallions. He’d be doing them a favor by invading, unless he was just a bad human who hated fluffies.

That would be fine. He could figure that out when he got there. He’d kick the human out if he found him to be a problem.

No, he couldn’t spend too much time on thinking about it. He needed to secure the area and establish his leadership before the human returned.

“We gu now, ‘ou wead da way.” Heart ordered. Rock nodded and Heart followed close behind. He felt the warmth of the sun spill over his deep red fluff. His white and black mane caught the wind as they rushed through the open field.

Nice as it was, he didn’t like being out in the open. He’d feel much better on the other side of that white wall thing and in the house. Even if things were scary in the human’s house he could hide if things got dicey. Worst case scenario he could have Rock serve as a distraction like he’d done with the rest of his herd.

He wished he’d had some more mothers with him to use as cover for this. They seemed to be the best distractions, at least as far as barky monsters were concerned.

After the long walk they finally arrived at the hole in the wall. Rock bopped it and it moved.

“See smawtie. Am easy.” Rock kept bopping it.


The word crashed into Heart’s ears as he approached the door. Not long after the smell reached him. Fluffies. Mares. Childless mares that really wanted to be mothers. He almost rushed through the door himself before he thought better of it.

“Gu.” He ordered Rock. Not wasting a moment, his toughie barreled in.

He waited and listened. “Nyu fwend!?” He heard a mare say through the wall. Again, he almost charged but he planted his feet and stuck to the plan.

“Wock? Am safe?” Heart called out.

“Am safe.” He heard.

Then he recklessly plunged into the door and on the other side… He wish he had a word for it. A place that was perfect.

A whole herd of fluffies littered the yard. Fluffies of all colors, with toys and what appeared to be a ton of food. No sketti, but that was expected. They’d even already designated a place to make poopies.

It was better than he’d expected. Everything was so well positioned. There were a few good sized rocks to hide behind. There was not far from where he was standing.

A few fluffies who’d been nearby were approaching Heart and Rock.

“Nyu fwend?” An orange fluffy with a yellow mane called out to them. She wasn’t alone. A light green horned fluffy with red fluff and another black fluffy with a black mane were following close behind. Heart’s nose told him that all three were female.

He wasn’t gonna be a dummy now though. He looked around to the rest of the yard. A big but smaller than Rock orange fluffy was in a nest with a mother and her foals. Most likely a stallion. He was staying close to his mate instead of approaching. That was good. He probably wouldn’t leave her.

Another mare was resting with her babies close by. That one was purple. No mate. If she didn’t have a toughie Heart would be able to give her dummeh babies forever sleepies and give her his own replacements. That was of course, after he’d given special huggies to these new ones coming toward him.

They were very close, but he still had a few more not forevers.

There was another couple. An even smaller blue fluffy that Heart assumed was a stallion was standing next to a white soon-mummah. The mare was… Heart couldn’t really see her that well but she was a beautiful shade of pure white. Nothing like the fluffies of his old herd.

The stallion next to her lowered his head. He looked afraid. Heart would have to make it a point to shame him later. He’d probably need about 3 toughies for a herd of this size, but he didn’t want one of them to be weak. He could always raise one later. Living on land like this probably meant they wouldn’t have to worry even in the cold times.

A few other fluffies were watching but didn’t approach. It was strange. Any good smarty would have kept at least a few toughies on the ready to attack an intruder. Maybe this herd didn’t have a smarty yet. That would make this way easier.

Finally the mares arrived. They huffed, clearly tired from the journey.

Heart could smell them much better now. It was the best thing he’d smelled in awhile. He’d had to stop himself from wandering behind them.

The orange one was the first to speak.

“Nyu fwends wan join-“ The mare’s face lit up when she looked him over. “Am stawwions!?” She practically shouted at him.

“Heawt an’ Wock am stawwions. Hab speshaw fwen’ ow smawtie?” He asked bluntly. Now wasn’t the time to be a dummy

“Nu speshaw fwen bu’ hab smawtie.” The way she said it made Heart smile. No fear, no admiration. It was neutral, as if she was telling him the sky was blue. “Nyu fwuffie wan be nyu special fwen?” She asked him practically shouting. Another good sign. Most mares wouldn’t dare ask an outsider like this.

“Nu faiw Dawn! Gwassie wan’ speshaw fwen! Nebah eben hab babies ye’!” The green one shouted.

The black one wasn’t speaking. That was fine. Black wasn’t really Heart’s type, though she was still a grade above the fluffies he’d had out in the tree place. She was eyeing rock anyway. Heart looked to his toughie who seemed to have noticed the attention. Still, he looked to Heart first.

That’s what Heart liked about Rock. He probably had the same hurties in his special lumps but he was enduring. He knew that he wasn’t in charge even thought he was bigger. He knew that Heart was still the smartie even if there were only 2 fluffies in their herd.

Heart nudged him pointing toward the black mare.

“Gib speshaw huggies den be weadie if smawtie ow toughies come.”

It would help establish their place in the herd faster if they acted quickly. This kind of thing drove even a weak smarty crazy. And Heart knew that if this were to happen on his land he’d have a pile of forever sleeping fluffies in the poopie place by the end of the bright time.

A smarty who didn’t step in in this situation wasn’t a smarty at all. He probably wouldn’t even need to fight for it. If any toughies had a problem with it, Rock would make them Heart’s toughies if they didn’t immediately listen to Heart.

He scanned the yard again. The blue maybe stallion was talking to the orange probably stallion. They were pointing Hearts direction and the orange one was nodding.

After a moment the blue one started walking. It wasn’t toward them though. Heart opened his mouth to ask the mares but was cut off.

“Am speshaw fwen foh Gwassie!” The green mare shouted as she bopped her rival. The hit looked pretty hard. How special huggie deprived were these mares?

“Wadies, wadies…” Heart moved closer to the both of them. The desperation rising off them only slightly less intense than his own. “Heawt am bestest smawtie, hab enough huggies foh boff mawes.” This seemed to distract them from their quarrels.

They could fight about who the special friend was later. If that white mare was pretty, and did belong to the old smarty he wouldn’t want to miss a chance to take her.

He was getting ahead of himself though. Right now, he and the mares in front of him just needed some relief.

Next to him he heard rock making “enf… enf…” noises. Heart was glad he hadn’t needed to sacrifice him. He might even need to break his own rule and let Rock have two mares as a reward.

“Nyu fwuffie can gib speshaw huggies tu too mawe at da same time?” The orange mare gave him a look of astonishment.

Heart looked back to the two fluffies who he’d been watching. The blue one was gone. The orange one… was just sitting with his eyes on the five of them. He wasn’t moving.

But where was the blue one?

An overpowering scent filled Heart’s nose as something soft passed under it. It was the orange mare’s tail as his eyes drifted to get a full view of her backside. All thoughts in Heart’s head died away as he moved his own body to follow her.

Everything was fine. It was a good chance to enjoy things before he had to get to the real work. This little treat was fine.

(Decided to flesh out the herd a little more when I realized my lack of doing it before makes it seem a little out of left field now. Downside of writing in sections with only a vague outline of the whole story I guess. Hope it isn’t too jarring.)



Heart really seems like an asshole. And he’s an idiot if he thinks he can just get rid of a human. Go figure, the bad smarties greatly overestimate their abilities. Clearly having sacrificed his herd as tools illustrates he’s not good at all at leading, just at being a sociopathic self serving bastard.

Feels a little weird to me the mares would throw themselves at a stallion they’ve never met before…

I don’t know. Perhaps the title of the story correlates - dummehs in my eyes.

Dunno what Bubbles will do, but I know Blake’s going to have something planned if he sees all this going on.


Seems to be a constant in smarties. Even Bubbles did tried something similar early on. I find the idea of how herds survive encounters to be a fun topic. To some extent, once they’ve been discovered, there isn’t much else to be done but sacrifice. I say that, but that’s not even true of my story thus far.

Meh, the mares are behaving as one would expect given the circumstances. A mare with options will be picky. A mare without options will let the first thing that can impregnate her have a go. This can be curtailed by fear of a smarty’s wrath.

Blake will… -redacted-


I suppose it comes down to headcanon. I could easily see one mare eager. In my ideas, you get the various ones who are especially baby crazy, or maybe just horny. But it varies, so seeing a group all being like that seems odd.

The real thing though is that they don’t seem to be wary. I’d imagine herds having an understanding that outsiders to the herd could be threats. But just some thoughts. In an infinite universe all possibilities are there, so this is one of those times.

I still want to take digs at Heart though, puffing himself up while being a pussy. At least Bubbles is aware of his limitations.

Anyway, look forward to the fallout.

Huh, come to think of it, I released chapter 16 of my story today too. Interesting coincidence.


Feral mares normally don’t have a problem getting pregnant or finding a special friend.

Most stories I’ve seen that include 1 or 2 fluffies coming up on a herd trigger an assimilation response barring special circumstances, or scarcity. Heck, that was Bubble’s first response to seeing Boris. But that goes back to me not better establishing the herd. On this case I’d say the clues to both oddities are present in the story.

Congrats on your 16th.