A wide and oppressive structure of ivory cement and stone, nary a window or marker in sight, save only for the letters “FC” that glowed upon its southern exterior, above the door. Inside of this featureless and textureless structure of a building was a man, his name was not important so we’ll call him Brad.
Brad twiddled his thumbs and waited with a bead of sweat upon his brow as he looked across the hall of the designated waiting area. Coming in and out of the adjacent holes, halls, doors and walkways were countless fluffies of different sizes and shapes, some he had brought to life himself, he could smell his own signature upon them. The fruits of his creative labours danced, played and talked with other fluffies formed by other hands. Some of these were rudimentary and humble in appearance, much like Brad’s and others were packed with such detail and personality that they were almost real to the eye.
A man in a white coat and a crown of flowers upon his head appeared before Brad. With pen and clipboard in hand, his eyes scanned the paperwork and then his vision returned to the waiting man.
“it’s time” he said before motioning to be followed.
Brad was then escorted through a long and well kept alabaster hallway, covered on all sides with reinforced steel blast doors that expressed upon themselves only a single word to distinguish from the rest. They travelled down the infinite length, passing fluffies of varying shades of colour, sub-species, shape, design and levels of unhappiness.
“hewwo mistah, wan be F̶̲͗͛͑w̴̡̒͛e̶̱̤̊̓̒͠ṅ̵̳̋̈́d̴͉̍̈́̀̓̍?” a passing piss yellow pegasus foal asked before abruptly curling into a ball, biting his tail and proceeding to collapse in upon himself like a black hole, until all that remained were a handful of yellow feathers dotted about the tile floor.
Eventually the man and the coated figure came to a white door bearing the word “germination” and within was revealed to be a bone pale room with a floor of soft and rich soil. Brad was then slowly and carefully buried up to his neck and watered with a red liquid that carried the sweet, garlic rich and herbal aroma of bolognese sauce. Then Brad was left and instructed to wait an eternity and so he did. To his amazement, eternity was not a very long amount of time and what was intended to expand in capacity from the birth and heat death of all natural things in the universe and the fading, non-uclidean structure of the cosmos itself, felt more like a brisk three minutes. The man in the white coat then returned with a white fluffy unicorn, who proceeded to both help and instruct the man as they carefully dug Brad out of the soil with gardening trowel and hooves until he had enough room with which to pry himself from the earth.
“look” the coated man said as he presented an ivory and gold mirror of at least Edwardian age to Brad and watched on blinkingly as the now un-planted man stared with bewildermented his new appendage.
Upon the top of Brad’s head, standing proudly out from his messy brown locks, was now a tiny flower, a daisy even, that swished lightly atop its stalk as its owner moved his head, much like the bioluminescent lure of an anglerfish.
The man in the coat simply requested that the floral man “try it out” as he presented Brad with a hammer, a chisel and a gigantic block of marble, all of which materialised itself from nothingness.
Brad made himself busy as he carefully and methodically chiseled away at the ivory mass of material. In truth, Brad had expected this process to be a long and arduous one yet to his surprise had found that in a comfortable twenty minutes he had created a hyper realistic sculpture of a soon-mummah, being ran over by a semi, even her cherpies were depicted flying out of her cavity at mach-five speed, straight into the adjacent wheel. This truly felt like an accomplishment to Brad.
The effort was rewarded with a tiny round of soft but rapid claps from both the coated man and white fluffy, much in the style of the French aristocracy of Marie Antoinette’s court.
“what do you think, Boss?” the coated man asked the fluffy to his right.
“huhuhuuuuu… Boss nu wike, am scawy!” it cried as a puddle of urine expanded below him.
A reward was in order and so a large and handsome looking chocolate cake was presented to Brad upon the completion of his hard work, adorned with party foals that peeped in utter fear and confusion and a deep red, pillowed and aggressively screaming mare on top of the cake’s peak like a cherry.
Brad smiled sincerely as he was handed the gardening trowel and instructed to use it as a knife. He began cutting into a handful of party foals and the mare, only for the gigantic confectionery to begin falling apart and revealing its contents, another Brad. The true Brad from within the cake smiled victoriously as he reached forward and took the trowel from his doppelganger’s hand, to which the false Brad responded by collapsing, revealing that he was in fact made of nothing but layers of sponge cake and icing.
The true Brad was then led through a wooden cabin door, that had only now just sprung itself out of the dirt. He travelled through the frame and found himself out of the building, left to graze in a great and beautiful emerald field, full to burst and handsomely populated with other flower headed peoples, with typewriters, canvases, moulding clay and sketch pads.
-The end-