Dear Dr. Maggie,
I hope this email finds you in poor spirits, perhaps even behind bars, you heartless monster. My felicitations on the death of your parents; I hope orphanhood suits you well and that someone else reaps the benefits of your inheritance. As I have terminated my relationships with Hasbio, Avis Aud, and you personally, I feel it is my ethical duty to disclose a few things to you. This is both to prove my innocence and lack of involvement in the heinous acts committed by you and your family and, hopefully, to add salt to your wounds. Iâll be brief as I only have an hour to write this before hell rains down on your parents when the FBI and CIA arrive.
Despite her immensely tender heart, Avis Amalie Aud has been smeared with a bloodthirsty reputation. This smear campaign was perpetuated entirely by your father, Steven Phillips, and his army of social media goons. Steven didnât want the truth about fluffy ponies getting out, and discrediting Avis was only the first step in an enormous misinformation campaign about Hasbio, fluffy ponies, and what was truly happening in those laboratories.
Avis Aud was right. Fluffy pony genetics are deeply unethical and unstable, leading to the release of novel viruses into the human population. Every single biotoy ever created should be destroyed and incinerated for the good of humanity. Hereâs why:
I have witnessed firsthand the chromosomal breakdown and the nanotech programming behind how pegasus wings function on a fluffy pony. Contrary to the propaganda, these wings are not based on parakeet wings. There is not a single trace of bird DNA in the fluffy pony genome.
This is crucial for you to know, especially given your own nanotech experiments. I hope youâve realized that the drugs you are pushing to the most vulnerable members of society contain traces of bat DNA. The pegasus wings were based on bat wings, not birds. Your âGlimmerâ is unstable and is already altering human DNA to the point where victims of your little drug operation are reporting unprecedented viral and fungal infections, previously only found in isolated bat populations.
Remember the historic COVID-19 virus, and the bird flu and swine flu before it? Itâs always a small viral species jump that leads to apocalyptic scenarios.
I have proof of HASBIO rounding up and âtreatingâ Glimmer addicts. I have witnessed the carnage with my own eyes and seen your parentsâ role in covering up the mess YOU created.
Avis Aud was researching the regrowth of lost limbs and using fluffy ponies as hosts for human organs before she found it necessary to leave the company. It seems you have stumbled upon the same possibilities because the Glimmer addicts your father collected and **euthanized ** began developing fluffy pony features, notably keratin tumors on their heads resembling horns, and cancerous bone tumors on their backs, containing alarming amounts of that bat DNA no one wants to talk about.
As I write this, your deranged mother has taken a crowbar and eliminated every living thing in the lab compound. It wonât be long before she finds the handgun in your fatherâs office and turns it on herself, I suspect. Every single fluffy pony, the other lab techs, and your father are dead. I am safe for the moment, hiding in my car. My safety is important to you, even if you donât realize it, because if youâre in jail or on the run, and your parents are deadâŚ
The child Iâm carrying is the only direct descendant of Steven Phillips, and Hasbio will belong to him or her per the board of directorsâ agreement about the companyâs future. Iâm due in late March, just in time for the fiscal quarter.
The Phillips family is deadâor should beâand a new age for Hasbio will begin with my child and me, leading this den of debauchery and bad science into a new era, with ethics and responsibility for the gifts we bestow upon humanity.
More than you could ever claim.
Warmest disregard,
Natalie Nguyen, the future of Hasbio.
âCan you believe this bitch?â Maggie scoffed, turning her screen towards her Aunt.
Avis adjusted her glasses as she patted her face dry with a towel. She was wearing Maggieâs bathrobe and still rather shaky from the whole ordeal.
âOof. Yeah. If sheâs in her car in the underground garage, sheâs suffocated by now. I activated the particle containment breach procedures before I left. The entire place is flooded with ethylene oxide and carbon monoxide. I hope she isnât smoking while pregnant.â
Maggie chuckled. âHa! With the salts and toluenes, it only takes a little combustion, andâŚâ
Both women clapped their hands together and mouthed the word âboom!â
Avis almost smiled. It had been about two hours since the older woman arrived on her nieceâs doorstep, shell-shocked and drenched from head to toe in blood of varying sources.
Maggie was proud of old Auntie Avis. Though she hadnât expected her to go full âCarrie,â she was proud nonetheless. Maggie was not the type to grieve, even a loss that cuts as deep as losing both parents. They were kinda shit anyways.
Avis had been the one to find Helen and Steve both dead. blood everywhere. It looked, at least to Avis, like Helen went down fighting the bastard before he shot her. Avis was smart enough to activate the failsafe protocols in the event of a catastrophe as she fled the lab.
Even though the laboratory was a bust and everything inside rendered useless, nothing of value was lost.