Just a short from Reddit.
Ever have a ritual? Y’know, a thing you always do just because you always do it? I have one when I travel for my job, which is often.
I stroll into the fluffy adoption centre down the block from my hotel. Meeting starts in three hours. That’s more than enough time to change into my suit and get my cool briefcase full of documents and papers or whatever.
This place looks like it’s run right. You can always tell the shitholes because they always have more people talking to customers than tending to the fluffies. This looks like somewhere they give a shit. Finally, a tall bearded man approaches.
“Afternoon sir, what can I do ya fer?”
“I’m looking to adopt a foal. My fluffy at home had a stillborn litter. She’s a darling mare, been a wonderful breeder for years. This was her last litter and she was gonna get to keep the bestest babbeh. She’s absolutely heartbroken and frankly I don’t want to lose her to despair.” The man smiled warmly and took me by the shoulder. “I think I’ve got exactly what you’re looking for.”
I’m led to a pen with a pink mare playing with her babbehs. She looks up and gasps with excitement. “Hewwow shewtew fwend! Am nudda nyu daddeh fow babbeh?” He chuckled. “That’s right Margaret. Just one he says.” She nods along happily. Clearly they do the legwork here. Not often to find a mare so easygoing about adoption.
She’s got three foals. No obvious “bestest” here, but two of the babies are clearly much closer. A black and red pegasus mare and a burnt orange unicorn stallion. They’re playing huggy tag and rubbing snouts. It’s adorable.
“Oh! How about the orange one! He’s the exact same color. She’ll love that.” The man nods and indicates over to the counter. He goes to the enclosure and spends a few minutes prepping everything. Tearful goodbyes are had, but it’s happy. Babbeh is getting a howsie.
Takes about ten minutes before I’m good to go. Carrying the cute little foal, I walk to the mummah enclosure. “Fankyu fow gib howsie tu wittwe babbeh! Mummah wub ou babbeh! Be gud babbeh fow mummah!” It’s a touching exchange. “Huuhuu babbeh wiww twy! Make mummah pwoud!” Beautiful moment between mummah and babbeh.
At the height of their emotional state, I drop the foal to the ground and crush him beneath my boot. I can hear the mother screaming as I stroll out. The cashier yells something, but I’m in my own little world now. The ritual worked. I’m in the zone.
“I’m gonna fucking crush this meeting.”