Author’s note
One of my favorite things about fluffies is that they are just as fragile or unkillable as the plot demands. This is going to be some slapstick shit, don’t take it too seriously.
Goofus and Gallant were two fluffies that lived together in their Mummah’s apartment saferoom. Goofus was a purple pegasus with a yellow mane and Gallant was a yellow unicorn with a purple mane. The brothers played all day together while Mummah was at work.
“Goofus!” Gallant said, standing on top of the toy box to look out the window. “Dewe am sketties!!”
Goofus dropped his block and clambered up to the window to see as well.
Across the street a giant advertisement had been put up on the back side of a refurbished office building depicting a can of ravioli being dumped into a waiting plate, tendrils of steam rising off them to entice you to rush to the store and buy some. No one in the marketing department considered what this would do to the local fluffy population, and since fluffies rarely if ever look up Gallant was the first fluffy to take notice of the giant “sketties”.
“Dat am biiiig picha ob sketties!” Goofus agreed.
“Gawwant wan’ num giant sketties!!” He said, pounding a hoof against the window.
Goofus cocked his head. “Buh… nu am weaw sketties.”
“Nu am weaw?! Am wite dewe! Thwough nu-see waww!!” his brother insisted.
With a sigh, Goofus tried to explain. “It am wike tee-bee, nu am weaw.”
Gallant narrowed his eyes. “Dummeh bwuddah jus’ wan’ aww giant sketties!! Meanie!!” He punctuated each statement with a hoof pounded on the glass.
“Goofus nu wan’ nu weaw sketties!” he spat. “Dummeh bwuddah gu wick waww, Goofus nu cawe!”
“Gawwant gu hab AWW da sketties den! Nu shawe wif-”
The window frames against that side of the building hadn’t been properly maintained, and so the light taps of a frustrated fluffy were enough to break the last bit of rusted iron holding them in place and the window slipped right out from the frame. Gallant, in a panic to regain his balance, wrapped a hoof around his brother and sent the both of them tumbling into the open air.
Most pegasus would be overjoyed to be “flying” but Goofus was well aware of the limits of his tiny wings. At the pet store the two of them were born in, another fluffy tried to fly out from its cage and went crashing to the floor in a bloody heap. The sobs and whines of the now legless pegasus was enough to put him off ever trying.
So Goofus, just like his brother, was fucking terrified.
With a loud SPLAT! the pair landed on the concrete below. Bystanders stopped in shock, seeing the mess in their path and feeling lucky that it hadn’t landed on any of them.
“HUUUUUU!!” Gallant moaned. “Hoofsie huwties!!” He held out his front hooves looking for a hug from the bystanders, one clearly crooked from the broken bone within.
Below him, the remains of his brother cushioned his fall. Goofus was no more than a red paste on the hot sidewalk, scattered teeth and shards of bone the only evidence that he was ever anything more than a water balloon filled with blood.
One of the humans picked up Goofus’ collar, dialing the number on the tag.
“Hello?”
“Um, hi, your fluffies seem to have had… an accident…”
On the other line Mummah sighed.
“Again??”